We can never know when an ill-fated incident could happen to us. Sometimes we think that the horrific thing would never happened and when we least expected it, that is when it will happen.
I had the shock of my life when I arrived at my sister’s house in Kedah on the 8th. Everyone greeted me at the door, but I didn’t see my sister. Mana pulak pompuan ni? I spoke to her on the phone so I knew she was at home but I was curious as why she didn’t come out.
As I walked to the kitchen, I saw her walking but I was speechless looking at her blackened face, hands and feet. Muka dia bengkak and hitam abis and she didn’t look like her old self. I was still unable to say anything when I was told that she got burned while she was cooking and it happened 2 days before.
When my BIL changed the gas, he didn’t realized that the tong was a bit smaller that the normal one they used, so the gas comes out little by little until an hour later when Aci bukak the cabinet door, the gas terus sambar and burned the parts that were not shielded by her cloths and trousers. Her hands are worse because she was trying to pull tudung yg tengah terbakar on her.
When this happened, there were quite a lot of relatives at home. A few of them ran to get the water hose and pulled it in the house, but she and my cousin screamed to them not to spray with water because it will trap the heat in the body, thus making it worse, or so they said.
She was warded for a couple of days. According to the doctor, the burn on her face is not too bad as it is only 11% and it will heal within two to four weeks. But the hands and feet are 25% burnt and some of her cell maybe damaged.
I thank God that the skin on her face was healing by the time I left to KL for Ace’s side of the wedding. I don’t mind that we have to cancel our plans to go on vacation with the whole family. I just pray that she will be alright. I know you will, Aci. You are the strongest one among the five of us.
Note: Another accident happened to my mobile phone. It got thrown into the toilet bowl, and now suffers severe depression and had to be warded. Due to this medical condition, I am unable to retrieve Naz's and Mar's numbers. I sincerely apologise because I didn't call and I wouldn't be able to see you like I planned to.
Saturday 23 December 2006
The Wedding Part One
It has been awhile since I last updated the blog after I reached Msia. Up until the 8th of Dec., everything was ok and things went smoothly.
As PS was waiting for the chocolates for the hantaran, CJ and I went straight to Muar the evening after I arrived. Her sisters were anxious and worried that they might have less hantaran if we didn’t get there on time. Nevertheless, we were on time and even managed to check in at the hotel before heading to her house.
She was in the middle of majlis berinai when we got there and she looked absolutely glowing. The atmosphere was very lively, (and noisy) with the karaoke session and the children running around. There was one makcik who kept singing nonstop until we laughed because of her garau voice. At other times, her voice changed to become so halus and high pitched! At least she was cool about it and not ashamed to be singing in public. Kalau I, sure malu punya. Ahaks... nyanyi dlm bathroom aje lah.
At the same time we helped PS’s sister to arrange the last hantaran, the above-said chocolates. Since she wasn't able to move her fingers and grab a handful of chocs, she asked that we hid some for her to eat later. Heh! Some thing never changed.
The next morning we got there quite early since we wanted to be there for the akad. The groom and his family members arrived almost at 10am when we were already at the surau. Amboi! Masa akad suara the groom, I heard, was very slow and soft. Tahan nafas kot?
I told CJ to take pictures of PS as soon as the akad finished, and we caught the funniest expression on her face. We thought she would be ‘terharu’ instead she was ecstatic and secretly clapping her hands, probably in seventh heaven already. Ish ish ish… tak senonoh sungguh kawanku ni.
Before I came home, I made an agreement with Brian that he was to be our photographer so that CJ and I could just enjoy the day, lepaking and meeting friends. Unfortunately, he didn’t turn up since he had an urgent family matter. Dang! But I guess we managed to take some excellent shots, which unfortunately can’t be displayed here.
I’ve never seen PS looking so different. The woman I’ve known for almost 12 years always seemed very youthful, naive and innocent, but on that day I can say that the bride looked extremely exquisite in her green outfit. CJ said she looked a bit like Kyra whateverhernameis the actress.
Whatever it is, I am very happy for her to have met her Ace.
As PS was waiting for the chocolates for the hantaran, CJ and I went straight to Muar the evening after I arrived. Her sisters were anxious and worried that they might have less hantaran if we didn’t get there on time. Nevertheless, we were on time and even managed to check in at the hotel before heading to her house.
She was in the middle of majlis berinai when we got there and she looked absolutely glowing. The atmosphere was very lively, (and noisy) with the karaoke session and the children running around. There was one makcik who kept singing nonstop until we laughed because of her garau voice. At other times, her voice changed to become so halus and high pitched! At least she was cool about it and not ashamed to be singing in public. Kalau I, sure malu punya. Ahaks... nyanyi dlm bathroom aje lah.
At the same time we helped PS’s sister to arrange the last hantaran, the above-said chocolates. Since she wasn't able to move her fingers and grab a handful of chocs, she asked that we hid some for her to eat later. Heh! Some thing never changed.
The next morning we got there quite early since we wanted to be there for the akad. The groom and his family members arrived almost at 10am when we were already at the surau. Amboi! Masa akad suara the groom, I heard, was very slow and soft. Tahan nafas kot?
I told CJ to take pictures of PS as soon as the akad finished, and we caught the funniest expression on her face. We thought she would be ‘terharu’ instead she was ecstatic and secretly clapping her hands, probably in seventh heaven already. Ish ish ish… tak senonoh sungguh kawanku ni.
Before I came home, I made an agreement with Brian that he was to be our photographer so that CJ and I could just enjoy the day, lepaking and meeting friends. Unfortunately, he didn’t turn up since he had an urgent family matter. Dang! But I guess we managed to take some excellent shots, which unfortunately can’t be displayed here.
I’ve never seen PS looking so different. The woman I’ve known for almost 12 years always seemed very youthful, naive and innocent, but on that day I can say that the bride looked extremely exquisite in her green outfit. CJ said she looked a bit like Kyra whateverhernameis the actress.
Whatever it is, I am very happy for her to have met her Ace.
Wednesday 29 November 2006
the bagel tragedy
I love bagel, especially the classic with smoked salmon and cheese. Isn't that the most wonderful guilty pleasure? Guilty because of the carb, and pleasure for the healthy salmon :)
Last week, I bought the onion and poppy seeds bagels only to throw them away because they were burned everytime I put them in the oven. Hitam semua bagelku! Today, with the last bagel and the last slice of salmon I was determined to get it right.
Tragedy almost happened, but it was still edible and munchable, so makan je lah walaupun dah terlebih gelap.
Bagel, however, must be accompanied with cheese. Unfortunately for the bagel, the cheeses are all in my bags heading to Malaysia gara-gara my sister. Aci ni memang hantu cheese, and now all her sons followed her footstep.
Of all the things they ask to bring back, they want cheese. Orang beli coklat bawak balik, I beli cheese :) Takpe lah kan, setahun sekali je. Lagipun cheese kat sana mahal sangat and takde varieties like you can find here.
Burp!
Opss.. dah kenyang with the hangit bagel.
It's almost 4am. I can't sleep because I fear that if I go to bed, I won't be able to rise on time to catch my flight at ten.
Last night I even dreamt that I missed the flight.
This is my first time flying with Qatar Airways. Done Emirates and I wasn't that impressed with their flight attendants. One particular attendant was rude when she used her foot to point the footrest. It was just unacceptable.
These days flying with Malaysia Airlines is out of the question. By choosing Qatar, I paid £200 less. Banyak tu! The different is just a four-hour transit in Doha. Never mind lah. Apalah sangat 4 hours tu compared to the extra cost. I keje extra 4 jam pun tak dpt gaji sebanyak tu.
Anyway, let's stop merapuing. I received a message from PS and from my nephew. Both messages said they can't wait to see me. Awww... It is nice to know there are people who are waiting for you. Somehow it made me feel extra special and that I am loved.
To be honest, I didn't feel excited about going home until yesterday when I started packing. Then it all dawned to me that I'm going to be in the company of my loved ones, and that's what important.
I love it here, in London, but there are times when I want to feel that I'm needed. However much I want to deny it, there is a gap inside me that long to be among the familiar faces.
Wait no more, Ewok.
I'll be home.
Last week, I bought the onion and poppy seeds bagels only to throw them away because they were burned everytime I put them in the oven. Hitam semua bagelku! Today, with the last bagel and the last slice of salmon I was determined to get it right.
Tragedy almost happened, but it was still edible and munchable, so makan je lah walaupun dah terlebih gelap.
Bagel, however, must be accompanied with cheese. Unfortunately for the bagel, the cheeses are all in my bags heading to Malaysia gara-gara my sister. Aci ni memang hantu cheese, and now all her sons followed her footstep.
Of all the things they ask to bring back, they want cheese. Orang beli coklat bawak balik, I beli cheese :) Takpe lah kan, setahun sekali je. Lagipun cheese kat sana mahal sangat and takde varieties like you can find here.
Burp!
Opss.. dah kenyang with the hangit bagel.
It's almost 4am. I can't sleep because I fear that if I go to bed, I won't be able to rise on time to catch my flight at ten.
Last night I even dreamt that I missed the flight.
This is my first time flying with Qatar Airways. Done Emirates and I wasn't that impressed with their flight attendants. One particular attendant was rude when she used her foot to point the footrest. It was just unacceptable.
These days flying with Malaysia Airlines is out of the question. By choosing Qatar, I paid £200 less. Banyak tu! The different is just a four-hour transit in Doha. Never mind lah. Apalah sangat 4 hours tu compared to the extra cost. I keje extra 4 jam pun tak dpt gaji sebanyak tu.
Anyway, let's stop merapuing. I received a message from PS and from my nephew. Both messages said they can't wait to see me. Awww... It is nice to know there are people who are waiting for you. Somehow it made me feel extra special and that I am loved.
To be honest, I didn't feel excited about going home until yesterday when I started packing. Then it all dawned to me that I'm going to be in the company of my loved ones, and that's what important.
I love it here, in London, but there are times when I want to feel that I'm needed. However much I want to deny it, there is a gap inside me that long to be among the familiar faces.
Wait no more, Ewok.
I'll be home.
Not sure of the right wordings, but this comes from Ada Apa Dengan Cinta?
Ku lari ke hutan
kemudian menyanyiku
ku lari ke pantai
kemudian teriakku
Sepi,
sepi dan sendiri
aku benci
aku ingin bingar
aku ingin di pasar
Bosan aku dengan penat
dan nyah saja kau pekat
seperti berjelaga jika ku sendiri
Pecahkan saja gelasnya
biar ramai yang mengaduh
sampai gaduh
Ada malaikat menyulam
jaring labah-labah belang
di tembok kraton yang putih
Kenapa tak goyangkan saja locengnya
biar terderai
atau aku harus lari ke pantai
belok ke hutan?
kemudian menyanyiku
ku lari ke pantai
kemudian teriakku
Sepi,
sepi dan sendiri
aku benci
aku ingin bingar
aku ingin di pasar
Bosan aku dengan penat
dan nyah saja kau pekat
seperti berjelaga jika ku sendiri
Pecahkan saja gelasnya
biar ramai yang mengaduh
sampai gaduh
Ada malaikat menyulam
jaring labah-labah belang
di tembok kraton yang putih
Kenapa tak goyangkan saja locengnya
biar terderai
atau aku harus lari ke pantai
belok ke hutan?
Saturday 25 November 2006
updates... updates
Alamak! I better change the song on this blog. Raya dah abis duh... Ahaks.
A month of absence. No pressure, no addiction to blogging. I can't believe that I am now all above it. It's not that I didn't want to blog, but I just didn't have any ideas or the drive to write and even when the ideas came, they flew right out the window the moment I switched on the pc.
As for cik sitikus in the house, I have also made peace with him. We now co-exist without any arguments as I am just so penat of hunting him and trying to kick him out of the room. May you have a long life!
Just a little update in my life.
Two weeks ago, I went on a shopping spree at Cheshire Oaks Shopping Village. It's about 4 hours drive from London, so The Black Widow and I left on Friday night and stayed in a B&B near Chester.
Early Saturday morning we were already there ready for our mission of finding inexpensive stuff. To be honest, I'm not a shopaholic. The last time I emptied my bank account was more than a year ago. So, I guess this time, all the pent-up feeling were finally unleashed.
We went into all stores and tried on almost everything that was there sampaikan both of us lupa nak makan. And, the funny thing was that we didn't manage to finish all the 140 stores that we decided to go again the next day. Gila!
Some items are really cheap and some are not too bad. But the most bargain ones were the 8 pairs of Nike and Puma trainers that Black Widow bought for only £107. That is dirt cheap! And 11 Revlon lipsticks that I got for only £21 is not bad either. Oh not to forget we got bargain CK bras that were going for only £1 or £2 only. The bras were not even in my list but I think at that time, both of us went just absolutely mad and could not believe our luck.
As I drove back, I realised that it was actually fun going for a shopping spree, but not if you do it too often. Bankrupt saya!
The second time I was on high is when, with fellow bloggers, I went to watch Dirty Dancing at Aldwych Theatre. I can't believe I even remember the song sang by Baby's sister (remember with her hula hula and hawaiian skirt?)
At the end of the show, what can I say? Gila best! With the audience singing along, we couldn't ask for a better ending. Read Jane for more review.
Anyway, in 4 days I'd be on my way back to Malaysia. Yaabedabedoooooooo!
A month of absence. No pressure, no addiction to blogging. I can't believe that I am now all above it. It's not that I didn't want to blog, but I just didn't have any ideas or the drive to write and even when the ideas came, they flew right out the window the moment I switched on the pc.
As for cik sitikus in the house, I have also made peace with him. We now co-exist without any arguments as I am just so penat of hunting him and trying to kick him out of the room. May you have a long life!
Just a little update in my life.
Two weeks ago, I went on a shopping spree at Cheshire Oaks Shopping Village. It's about 4 hours drive from London, so The Black Widow and I left on Friday night and stayed in a B&B near Chester.
Early Saturday morning we were already there ready for our mission of finding inexpensive stuff. To be honest, I'm not a shopaholic. The last time I emptied my bank account was more than a year ago. So, I guess this time, all the pent-up feeling were finally unleashed.
We went into all stores and tried on almost everything that was there sampaikan both of us lupa nak makan. And, the funny thing was that we didn't manage to finish all the 140 stores that we decided to go again the next day. Gila!
Some items are really cheap and some are not too bad. But the most bargain ones were the 8 pairs of Nike and Puma trainers that Black Widow bought for only £107. That is dirt cheap! And 11 Revlon lipsticks that I got for only £21 is not bad either. Oh not to forget we got bargain CK bras that were going for only £1 or £2 only. The bras were not even in my list but I think at that time, both of us went just absolutely mad and could not believe our luck.
As I drove back, I realised that it was actually fun going for a shopping spree, but not if you do it too often. Bankrupt saya!
The second time I was on high is when, with fellow bloggers, I went to watch Dirty Dancing at Aldwych Theatre. I can't believe I even remember the song sang by Baby's sister (remember with her hula hula and hawaiian skirt?)
At the end of the show, what can I say? Gila best! With the audience singing along, we couldn't ask for a better ending. Read Jane for more review.
Anyway, in 4 days I'd be on my way back to Malaysia. Yaabedabedoooooooo!
Friday 20 October 2006
of hide and seek
Sekarang dah pukul 6 pagi tau! One whole night I couldn't sleep. It was all because of you. Isshh... tension sungguh aku dengan budak sekor ni.
I heard about you from other tenants, but I just never thought you would come to me.
At first, I just heard the noises you're making. You never showed your face. You must be scared of me and that's why you don't want to see me, do you?
I tried looking for you, but you just went quiet all of a sudden. I wonder why.
I know there's a cafe downstairs, I guess that must be the reason you have become an illegal tenant, just like your other mates. You don't pay rent. You steal the food. You sleep in our rooms. Dah la tak keje, makan pun nak bersuap ke?
For the last 2 months, I was pretty ok on my own until a few days ago when I had my suspicion that you have invaded my privacy. Can't you just leave me alone?
This morning, I noticed you managed to steal serunding daging. It's going to be raya soon, you silly bugger. Now I don't have serunding to eat with my ketupat. How inconsiderate of you! Thank goodness I still have another packet of serunding to keep me going, but I made sure that is hidden from you.
Over the last few hours, I noticed you have become a little bit daring. You finally showed your face to me. Eh, hello? You're just a little fella. I'm bigger and stronger you know. I will get you this time.
Being hungry makes one become more aggressive and determined. Well, guess what, buddy? I am determined too. Berperang lah kita. You will not be allowed in my place ever again. By hook or by crook I will kick your sorry ass out. I just can't stand you rummaging my place and leaving shits behind. I'm not your maid.
If you want food, go get them at the shops on the street. I'm not a charity. I know you're hungry, but that doesn't entitled you to abuse my place. I saw you running up the steps looking for my serunding. You think I'd leave it there again? Bodoh!
I heard you trying to steal what's left inside the tesco plastic bags. When I called out for you, you stayed hidden. But you can't fool me. I saw you jumping down when you heard me rising from my bed. I opened the door and told you to leave, but you're so stubborn. When you ran, I wanted to smash you so hard with the newspaper that I had in my hand. Lucky you I missed.
But the hunger pang is so strong that you can't afford to stay hidden. When you think it was safe, you slowly came out again. It was like playing hide and seek. I wish I have a baseball bat so that I can hit you so hard that your head just crack. Biar pecah berderai.
I'm not that heartless so I'm going to give you another chance to go quietly. I'd leave the food outside the door and you can eat your heart out. Just don't come back inside. You're not welcome here.
Hey little fella, get lost! If you're still not out from my place by tomorrow night, I'm gonna trap you. Mati kau, tikus!
I heard about you from other tenants, but I just never thought you would come to me.
At first, I just heard the noises you're making. You never showed your face. You must be scared of me and that's why you don't want to see me, do you?
I tried looking for you, but you just went quiet all of a sudden. I wonder why.
I know there's a cafe downstairs, I guess that must be the reason you have become an illegal tenant, just like your other mates. You don't pay rent. You steal the food. You sleep in our rooms. Dah la tak keje, makan pun nak bersuap ke?
For the last 2 months, I was pretty ok on my own until a few days ago when I had my suspicion that you have invaded my privacy. Can't you just leave me alone?
This morning, I noticed you managed to steal serunding daging. It's going to be raya soon, you silly bugger. Now I don't have serunding to eat with my ketupat. How inconsiderate of you! Thank goodness I still have another packet of serunding to keep me going, but I made sure that is hidden from you.
Over the last few hours, I noticed you have become a little bit daring. You finally showed your face to me. Eh, hello? You're just a little fella. I'm bigger and stronger you know. I will get you this time.
Being hungry makes one become more aggressive and determined. Well, guess what, buddy? I am determined too. Berperang lah kita. You will not be allowed in my place ever again. By hook or by crook I will kick your sorry ass out. I just can't stand you rummaging my place and leaving shits behind. I'm not your maid.
If you want food, go get them at the shops on the street. I'm not a charity. I know you're hungry, but that doesn't entitled you to abuse my place. I saw you running up the steps looking for my serunding. You think I'd leave it there again? Bodoh!
I heard you trying to steal what's left inside the tesco plastic bags. When I called out for you, you stayed hidden. But you can't fool me. I saw you jumping down when you heard me rising from my bed. I opened the door and told you to leave, but you're so stubborn. When you ran, I wanted to smash you so hard with the newspaper that I had in my hand. Lucky you I missed.
But the hunger pang is so strong that you can't afford to stay hidden. When you think it was safe, you slowly came out again. It was like playing hide and seek. I wish I have a baseball bat so that I can hit you so hard that your head just crack. Biar pecah berderai.
I'm not that heartless so I'm going to give you another chance to go quietly. I'd leave the food outside the door and you can eat your heart out. Just don't come back inside. You're not welcome here.
Hey little fella, get lost! If you're still not out from my place by tomorrow night, I'm gonna trap you. Mati kau, tikus!
Thursday 19 October 2006
Do you feel it? Or is it just me?
These days, when Raya comes, everything seems very different from when we were children.
The atmosphere is different. I used to love going to masjid for solat raya with my mom. Not to show off the new baju or shoes but that was the time when mom got to meet her friends before her house was swamped with visitors.
Normally, after we got home, there was little chance for her to get out again until probably late afternoon.
So, it was up to me to deliver all the kueh raya and cakes to the neighbours (kecik-kecik dah keje delivery.. heheh)
As I hardly had any friends in the kampung since I went to school in the city, I didn't go anywhere on the first day. If I wanted to go to friends' house, I had to take the bus and that's only happened on the second or third day.
Normally, my brothers would go to their friends house as soon as the solat ends and they would be back just before midday. So, it was up to me again to be at home helping mom. Well, what do you expect from boys anyway? Takde nye nak tolong in the kitchen sangat pun.
I remember following the kampung kids around to kutip duit raya. We went everywhere, even though we didn't know the hosts. We still went in to drink air sirap and eat a kueh before getting our duit raya. I stopped when I turned 12. Malu.. dah besar kan.
Last year when I went back for raya, I observed that kids these days just stood at the door, salam-ed the hosts and just waited for the duit raya. They didn't even have the decency to go inside the house, which kinda annoy me big time. Semua tunggu nak duit raya je. Some didn't even salam but just ran to the next house as soon as they got what they were after. Kurang sopan sungguh.
Kalau dari kecik tak diajar, dah grow up nanti dah tak makan saman dah. If my nephews and nieces did this, memang dah kena dah ni.
Oh... talking about anak sedara, dah bertambah meriah lagi lah one of my brothers' house. Anak dah semakin ramai. Yang pengsan nya Ucu ni lah. When I'm there, all of them will be like Ucu beli ni, Ucu beli tu, Ucu nak makan ni, Ucu jom main tu. Adoii... penat Ucu korang melayan, but since I go home pun sekali sekala, kasi chan je lah to them kan.
I love it when all of them waiting to hug me when I was at the airport. Even my brothers hugged me without teragak2. When I look back, I find it funny that these alim looking men with goatie hugging a young woman (aheeemm... i young wot) with all the lebai and makcik2 watching. Hehehe... Think whatever you want lah Labuuu.
Before bulan mulia ni ends, I would like to wish my readers well, be it the silent or the chatty ones from all over the world (US, UK, Msia, Brunei, Spore, India, Japan, Switzerland, SouthAfrica, Mexico and a few more countries that I might have missed)
Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin.
May God bless you.
Added: Kak Teh asked if I wanted to join her at Mawar for solat hari raya. Mmm... I dunno lah. Sembahyang wajib pun masih tunggang langgang and terawih pun dah bertahun tak penah pegi, tetiba yang sunat ni nak pi.
I feel like a hypocrite, but hypocrisy is not an excuse not to go. My answer would be Insyaallah.
I'm hoping that raya falls on Sunday. It will be work as usual if it's on Monday and I'd be in Wales. Sigh.
The atmosphere is different. I used to love going to masjid for solat raya with my mom. Not to show off the new baju or shoes but that was the time when mom got to meet her friends before her house was swamped with visitors.Normally, after we got home, there was little chance for her to get out again until probably late afternoon.
So, it was up to me to deliver all the kueh raya and cakes to the neighbours (kecik-kecik dah keje delivery.. heheh)
As I hardly had any friends in the kampung since I went to school in the city, I didn't go anywhere on the first day. If I wanted to go to friends' house, I had to take the bus and that's only happened on the second or third day.
Normally, my brothers would go to their friends house as soon as the solat ends and they would be back just before midday. So, it was up to me again to be at home helping mom. Well, what do you expect from boys anyway? Takde nye nak tolong in the kitchen sangat pun.
I remember following the kampung kids around to kutip duit raya. We went everywhere, even though we didn't know the hosts. We still went in to drink air sirap and eat a kueh before getting our duit raya. I stopped when I turned 12. Malu.. dah besar kan.
Last year when I went back for raya, I observed that kids these days just stood at the door, salam-ed the hosts and just waited for the duit raya. They didn't even have the decency to go inside the house, which kinda annoy me big time. Semua tunggu nak duit raya je. Some didn't even salam but just ran to the next house as soon as they got what they were after. Kurang sopan sungguh.
Kalau dari kecik tak diajar, dah grow up nanti dah tak makan saman dah. If my nephews and nieces did this, memang dah kena dah ni.
Oh... talking about anak sedara, dah bertambah meriah lagi lah one of my brothers' house. Anak dah semakin ramai. Yang pengsan nya Ucu ni lah. When I'm there, all of them will be like Ucu beli ni, Ucu beli tu, Ucu nak makan ni, Ucu jom main tu. Adoii... penat Ucu korang melayan, but since I go home pun sekali sekala, kasi chan je lah to them kan.
I love it when all of them waiting to hug me when I was at the airport. Even my brothers hugged me without teragak2. When I look back, I find it funny that these alim looking men with goatie hugging a young woman (aheeemm... i young wot) with all the lebai and makcik2 watching. Hehehe... Think whatever you want lah Labuuu.
Before bulan mulia ni ends, I would like to wish my readers well, be it the silent or the chatty ones from all over the world (US, UK, Msia, Brunei, Spore, India, Japan, Switzerland, SouthAfrica, Mexico and a few more countries that I might have missed)
Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin.
May God bless you.
Added: Kak Teh asked if I wanted to join her at Mawar for solat hari raya. Mmm... I dunno lah. Sembahyang wajib pun masih tunggang langgang and terawih pun dah bertahun tak penah pegi, tetiba yang sunat ni nak pi.
I feel like a hypocrite, but hypocrisy is not an excuse not to go. My answer would be Insyaallah.
I'm hoping that raya falls on Sunday. It will be work as usual if it's on Monday and I'd be in Wales. Sigh.
Wednesday 18 October 2006
of scoop and semak
Finally, I'm finished with the event for this year. Last weekend I took a van to Battle for the re-enactment of the Battle of Hastings that changed the course of English history when William the Conqueror defeated King Harold of England.
Apparently it was such a big event that I was so damn busy I didn't even have time to look up at the battles on the showground. I was worried that I might run out of ice cream, which I did. So the next day, I had to call for backups. I asked Mr. C to deliver the stocks and I begged The Black Widow to work with me. Thank goodness for them!
Since the Black Widow was quite slow scooping the ice cream, I told her to be the cashier. Big mistake! To me anyway, cos by the end of the day I felt my arms macam nak terlucut. We sold 900 cones and 700 tubs!
Got back home rather late since the traffic was horrendous with cars driving out of Battle, and even after we got home I could not rest just yet because I had to wait for the parking space to clear out for my van. What a day!
While we were waiting in the Black Widow's room, she showed me some pictures. One of them being a picture of a special function and everyone had to wear 'protocol' costume. No offense to our baju kurung, but when I saw that photo I told her it looks so semak.
I think it's the different patterns of the kurung that makes the photo jadi semak and berserabut.
Engkau tu yang semak, she said to me. Heheheh...
Just look at some of your office photos and you know what I mean. These days, I prefer simple kosong pattern rather than the berbunga2 one. But when raya comes, I haven't got any baju kurung with me at all. Not that I will wear it anyway.
I remember going to a friend's wedding last Nov in KL wearing my jeans. Nobody said anything, but I did feel slightly uncomfortable since I was on my own. None of my other friends turned up. Hmmmmm... I promise I will not go to a wedding alone again. Never!
Anyway, I didn't realise that raya is on the weekend. I was planning to go out on a date with that Gentleguy from work so I had to cancel the date, again. We have been planning for the first date like forever! Entahlah... macam takde rezeki je.
Apa nak buat? Tunggu and lihat je lah.
Apparently it was such a big event that I was so damn busy I didn't even have time to look up at the battles on the showground. I was worried that I might run out of ice cream, which I did. So the next day, I had to call for backups. I asked Mr. C to deliver the stocks and I begged The Black Widow to work with me. Thank goodness for them!
Since the Black Widow was quite slow scooping the ice cream, I told her to be the cashier. Big mistake! To me anyway, cos by the end of the day I felt my arms macam nak terlucut. We sold 900 cones and 700 tubs!
Got back home rather late since the traffic was horrendous with cars driving out of Battle, and even after we got home I could not rest just yet because I had to wait for the parking space to clear out for my van. What a day!
While we were waiting in the Black Widow's room, she showed me some pictures. One of them being a picture of a special function and everyone had to wear 'protocol' costume. No offense to our baju kurung, but when I saw that photo I told her it looks so semak.
I think it's the different patterns of the kurung that makes the photo jadi semak and berserabut.
Engkau tu yang semak, she said to me. Heheheh...
Just look at some of your office photos and you know what I mean. These days, I prefer simple kosong pattern rather than the berbunga2 one. But when raya comes, I haven't got any baju kurung with me at all. Not that I will wear it anyway.
I remember going to a friend's wedding last Nov in KL wearing my jeans. Nobody said anything, but I did feel slightly uncomfortable since I was on my own. None of my other friends turned up. Hmmmmm... I promise I will not go to a wedding alone again. Never!
Anyway, I didn't realise that raya is on the weekend. I was planning to go out on a date with that Gentleguy from work so I had to cancel the date, again. We have been planning for the first date like forever! Entahlah... macam takde rezeki je.
Apa nak buat? Tunggu and lihat je lah.
Thursday 12 October 2006
of cooking and stars
Malam ni dengan sukacitanya I went cooking at friends' place by the river in Deptford. We have been planning to do the makan session for ages, but we never got the chance.
Everybody seems to be busy. In London, if you want to meet friends, you have to ask if they were free on such and such date. They'll check their diaries and get back to you whether it's ok or no go. You have to book a slot in their diaries. That's how it is. None like good ol' malaysian friends. You call them say 'weyyy, jom teh tarik?' and off you go.
It has been, say 6 or 7 months since I last cooked a proper meal. Man! That long? I mean I do eat proper meal ie rice and dishes, but all that were mostly tapaued from Mawar or Nahar.
I still hadn't decided what to cook though. It was for a party of 4 and we go way back when we all first started our job in the UK together. We are all at ease with each other, no pretence whatsoever. We had the same humble beginning and we used to live together at some point.
And all of them love my cooking. Heh! Though I know that Agy cannot stand hot and spicy food, but knowing her she won't be able to resist any of them. She would just leave out the gravy.
So, Kfiatek and I met at the Blackwells on Charing Cross, browsing for books before heading to China Town. I set my eyes on Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro and The Time Traveller's Wife. Just can't wait to get started.
Anyway, we were browsing at one supermarket when I finally decided I would make meehoon goreng with lotsa taugeh, fish balls, fish cakes, veggies and some campak-campak chicken dish. Imagine me trying to whip something simple after hanging up my senduk for months. Not a pretty sight, but I guess it's just like riding a bike. It came straight back just like that.
Having Kfiatek as my slave to chop all the veggies makes it easier. In the end, I enjoyed it very much and I'm sure they did too.
Thank goodness I didn't drive to their place or else I would not be able to drive back. I was so full, and I don't think I'd be having any sahur this morning. It's quite warm even though it was raining earlier and considering that we are already in Oct.
As I was walking back from the Bond Street station, I looked up and saw a few stars. I know it's already morning in Malaysia, but if you looked up at the sky tonight, we might be seeing the same stars.
Everybody seems to be busy. In London, if you want to meet friends, you have to ask if they were free on such and such date. They'll check their diaries and get back to you whether it's ok or no go. You have to book a slot in their diaries. That's how it is. None like good ol' malaysian friends. You call them say 'weyyy, jom teh tarik?' and off you go.
It has been, say 6 or 7 months since I last cooked a proper meal. Man! That long? I mean I do eat proper meal ie rice and dishes, but all that were mostly tapaued from Mawar or Nahar.
I still hadn't decided what to cook though. It was for a party of 4 and we go way back when we all first started our job in the UK together. We are all at ease with each other, no pretence whatsoever. We had the same humble beginning and we used to live together at some point.
And all of them love my cooking. Heh! Though I know that Agy cannot stand hot and spicy food, but knowing her she won't be able to resist any of them. She would just leave out the gravy.
So, Kfiatek and I met at the Blackwells on Charing Cross, browsing for books before heading to China Town. I set my eyes on Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro and The Time Traveller's Wife. Just can't wait to get started.
Anyway, we were browsing at one supermarket when I finally decided I would make meehoon goreng with lotsa taugeh, fish balls, fish cakes, veggies and some campak-campak chicken dish. Imagine me trying to whip something simple after hanging up my senduk for months. Not a pretty sight, but I guess it's just like riding a bike. It came straight back just like that.
Having Kfiatek as my slave to chop all the veggies makes it easier. In the end, I enjoyed it very much and I'm sure they did too.
Thank goodness I didn't drive to their place or else I would not be able to drive back. I was so full, and I don't think I'd be having any sahur this morning. It's quite warm even though it was raining earlier and considering that we are already in Oct.
As I was walking back from the Bond Street station, I looked up and saw a few stars. I know it's already morning in Malaysia, but if you looked up at the sky tonight, we might be seeing the same stars.
Saturday 7 October 2006
of studio and sugar level
Yesterday, The Mentor and The Grey Hair were guests on Ready Steady Cook. The Grey Hair was a green pepper and The Mentor was a red tomato. It's pudding week so they took our ice cream along.
Quite cheeky The Mentor! She asked her family and me to come along to the studio to vote for her. Hehe...
I brought along The Black Widow, and both of us were excited to be on the set. I thought that the set looks bigger in telly and they look so neat.
Ainsley was faboulous and he was funny as ever. He hardly makes any mistakes therefore they didn't have to retake the scenes. The two guest chefs were James Tanner (isn't he cute and hot?) and Phil Vickery.
As they were filming it, they actually did it within the time slot given. All the preps and cooking, it looks like it was live. However, after the show The Mentor said that when she was asked to separate the eggs, they were already separated but were put back in the shells. Heh.. so now we know how they make it looks so easy and fast! Everything was prepared beforehand.
Being in the audience is a lot of hard work too, you know. We have to cheers, clap, make suitable sounds ie ooooohhh, aaahhh, ooooooo, woooooww etc. When Ainsley asked the audience to vote, you thought that the audience voted straight away didn't you? Nope, we didn't vote.
We waited until the contestants and chefs leave the set for a couple of minutes. It was because one of the regular chefs (Brian Turner) hates it when the audience didn't vote for him. What a sore loser!
Anyway, The GH won and The Mentor had to make do with a hamper. For health and safety reason, the audience can't sample the food. However, as the guests of the participants, we were escorted to the cafe area where we got to sample (I didn't just sample them, I eat them!) all the desserts that were made minutes before.
My favorite were the Chilli Mango and one that I didn't know the name. What a treat! I only break fast with a grape and water, and seeing all the puddings made me go crazy. My sugar level just shoots up to the ceiling!
I had a good time seeing the filming of the show. For me, broadcasting and filming are just wicked.
The show is scheduled on 30 Oct., so watch it! If we were lucky, we can see ourselves during the voting time.
Quite cheeky The Mentor! She asked her family and me to come along to the studio to vote for her. Hehe...I brought along The Black Widow, and both of us were excited to be on the set. I thought that the set looks bigger in telly and they look so neat.
Ainsley was faboulous and he was funny as ever. He hardly makes any mistakes therefore they didn't have to retake the scenes. The two guest chefs were James Tanner (isn't he cute and hot?) and Phil Vickery.
As they were filming it, they actually did it within the time slot given. All the preps and cooking, it looks like it was live. However, after the show The Mentor said that when she was asked to separate the eggs, they were already separated but were put back in the shells. Heh.. so now we know how they make it looks so easy and fast! Everything was prepared beforehand.
Being in the audience is a lot of hard work too, you know. We have to cheers, clap, make suitable sounds ie ooooohhh, aaahhh, ooooooo, woooooww etc. When Ainsley asked the audience to vote, you thought that the audience voted straight away didn't you? Nope, we didn't vote.
We waited until the contestants and chefs leave the set for a couple of minutes. It was because one of the regular chefs (Brian Turner) hates it when the audience didn't vote for him. What a sore loser!
Anyway, The GH won and The Mentor had to make do with a hamper. For health and safety reason, the audience can't sample the food. However, as the guests of the participants, we were escorted to the cafe area where we got to sample (I didn't just sample them, I eat them!) all the desserts that were made minutes before.My favorite were the Chilli Mango and one that I didn't know the name. What a treat! I only break fast with a grape and water, and seeing all the puddings made me go crazy. My sugar level just shoots up to the ceiling!
I had a good time seeing the filming of the show. For me, broadcasting and filming are just wicked.
The show is scheduled on 30 Oct., so watch it! If we were lucky, we can see ourselves during the voting time.
Thursday 5 October 2006
kad raya or orang yang raya?
I am not the kind of person who would normally send kad raya, but this year dah buang tabiat dah agaknya. I bought ten cards but for whom, I have no idea yet.
A friend is selling them, so I thought I'll help her out with a bit of marketing on this blog.
Those who are interested to buy them, there are two designs as displayed. Simple yet
very nice.
The card costs £0.80 each. If any of you are interested in purchasing them, please email me or leave a message.
A friend is selling them, so I thought I'll help her out with a bit of marketing on this blog.
Those who are interested to buy them, there are two designs as displayed. Simple yet
very nice.The card costs £0.80 each. If any of you are interested in purchasing them, please email me or leave a message.
Monday 2 October 2006
When success comes knocking
A friend of mine complained that she has been the receiving end of malicious treatment. It's all just because she works as a cleaner at some residences owned by the Malays.
"Hina sangat ke aku keje cleaner ni?" She asked me during sahur time.
"Apa duhhh... most melayu memang macam tu, suka pandang rendah kat orang lain," I said to her. "Never mind them, L, we know what we are doing. As long as we happy and tak susahkan orang, to hell with them!"
"You and me are the same huh? You driver, I cleaner."
Yes, that's what we are. I am driver cum delivery woman cum ice cream seller and she is a cleaner cum waitress. Whatever work we do, they help pay the bills. Though at some point, I'm tired of listening to people being high and mighty with me.
What I don't understand is that some people when they striked gold mines, they change overnight. Not just their houses and cars, but their attitude too.
The truth is that real successful people have a sense of dignity that they are pretty solid in themselves. They don't need to show off, brag about what they have or who they are. They maintain modesty because they simply can't be bothered with attention-seeking stuff.
So, listen here. If one day you become the man or woman to be reckon with, show some poise, be a bit separate from the herd, considerate and be someone others might like to look up to. You don't need to be aloof and standoffish. Dignity is about showing self-respect and having quiet self-esteem.
It's amazing to see many self-proclaimed successful Malaysians, yet they lack dignity.
In the meantime, stop being a prick. Unless you want to pay our bills, let us do our jobs and you do yours.
"Hina sangat ke aku keje cleaner ni?" She asked me during sahur time.
"Apa duhhh... most melayu memang macam tu, suka pandang rendah kat orang lain," I said to her. "Never mind them, L, we know what we are doing. As long as we happy and tak susahkan orang, to hell with them!"
"You and me are the same huh? You driver, I cleaner."
Yes, that's what we are. I am driver cum delivery woman cum ice cream seller and she is a cleaner cum waitress. Whatever work we do, they help pay the bills. Though at some point, I'm tired of listening to people being high and mighty with me.
What I don't understand is that some people when they striked gold mines, they change overnight. Not just their houses and cars, but their attitude too.
The truth is that real successful people have a sense of dignity that they are pretty solid in themselves. They don't need to show off, brag about what they have or who they are. They maintain modesty because they simply can't be bothered with attention-seeking stuff.
So, listen here. If one day you become the man or woman to be reckon with, show some poise, be a bit separate from the herd, considerate and be someone others might like to look up to. You don't need to be aloof and standoffish. Dignity is about showing self-respect and having quiet self-esteem.
It's amazing to see many self-proclaimed successful Malaysians, yet they lack dignity.
In the meantime, stop being a prick. Unless you want to pay our bills, let us do our jobs and you do yours.
Wednesday 27 September 2006
A Little Observation
Let's see, I've been staying in central London for slightly more than 2 months.
I can't deny that everything is just around the corner. The cinema is just 20 minutes away (during peak times, walking will get you there faster than taking a bus). I can get to the park even before you finish saying jump. Hehe, just kidding. It's still very close by.
For groceries, Sainsbury's, M&S and Tesco is less than 5 minutes walk. For Malaysian foods, it's just 30 seconds away :) What more do I want, right?
When I moved here, I thought it is just a temporary measure because I was desperate to find a shelter. But after having a little discussion with my other half (not my man duh), I might decide to stay here longer. It's all due to it's great location.
The people who lived here, however, are much to be desired.
Let me tell you about one Malay boy. I don't know his name but he works at one of the Malaysian restaurants in London. He has piercings at the end of one of his eyebrows. Also, he's got his tongue pierced.
I have nothing against people who have face accessories, if I may call it. I even thought of getting my eyebrow pierced when I was a rebel (with a cause, of course), but decided against it after I chickened out. Well, I'm not going to talk about his interests in body piercing. What I want to say is I find it really sad when I heard him talking.
He's trying so hard to blend in with the matsalehs that he forgotten one basic rule. Never forget your manner. He is the most kurang ajar boy I ever met here. I can't believe my ears when I heard him swears at The Black Widow. He hurls the word 'babi' and swear words easily, not caring that she's older than him. In front of The Old Pervert, tunjuk baik benar and pijak semut pun tak mati, but behind him, he calls him names. Sedih I tengok budak ni. But salah siapa? The parents for not teaching him well, or him?
Then there's The Old Pervert. His daughters are all grown up and the wife is quite pretty, but he is still looking for a second wife. His reason is that he wants a son. I don't quite understand these kind of people. There must be a reason why God didn't give them sons. He may want them to jaga and teach their daughters well instead.
My informer told me that The Old Pervert has asked her to marry him, but before that he wanted to have sex with her. You know, like the kind of things you buy at shop, try before you buy. Ada ke? What kind of short twisted mentality is that? Orang tua gatal.
Another guy, let's call him The Chef, is also pursuing The Black Widow, but he's more subtle than The Old Pervert. He uses kind words and romances to bring her fences down. He gives her flowers and cooks special dishes for her. To her, he was just a friend and kekadang she rimas with his advances but he never got the hint. I saw the text to her saying that one day they'll be together.
Someone warned The Chef's wife about him coming home late and put the blame to The Black Widow. They have assumed that The Black Widow is trying to 'rampas laki orang' as the Malays would put it. How sad. The woman in question does nothing, it's the man that have the itching between his legs, but weehoo... it's the woman who is the slut. How totally unfair.
There's a lot I can learn just looking at them. I hope that one day they will change, but that is wishful thinking. I don't want to end up being bitter, assuming and nasty like these people because I know I am better than the rest of them.
I can't deny that everything is just around the corner. The cinema is just 20 minutes away (during peak times, walking will get you there faster than taking a bus). I can get to the park even before you finish saying jump. Hehe, just kidding. It's still very close by.
For groceries, Sainsbury's, M&S and Tesco is less than 5 minutes walk. For Malaysian foods, it's just 30 seconds away :) What more do I want, right?
When I moved here, I thought it is just a temporary measure because I was desperate to find a shelter. But after having a little discussion with my other half (not my man duh), I might decide to stay here longer. It's all due to it's great location.
The people who lived here, however, are much to be desired.
Let me tell you about one Malay boy. I don't know his name but he works at one of the Malaysian restaurants in London. He has piercings at the end of one of his eyebrows. Also, he's got his tongue pierced.
I have nothing against people who have face accessories, if I may call it. I even thought of getting my eyebrow pierced when I was a rebel (with a cause, of course), but decided against it after I chickened out. Well, I'm not going to talk about his interests in body piercing. What I want to say is I find it really sad when I heard him talking.
He's trying so hard to blend in with the matsalehs that he forgotten one basic rule. Never forget your manner. He is the most kurang ajar boy I ever met here. I can't believe my ears when I heard him swears at The Black Widow. He hurls the word 'babi' and swear words easily, not caring that she's older than him. In front of The Old Pervert, tunjuk baik benar and pijak semut pun tak mati, but behind him, he calls him names. Sedih I tengok budak ni. But salah siapa? The parents for not teaching him well, or him?
Then there's The Old Pervert. His daughters are all grown up and the wife is quite pretty, but he is still looking for a second wife. His reason is that he wants a son. I don't quite understand these kind of people. There must be a reason why God didn't give them sons. He may want them to jaga and teach their daughters well instead.
My informer told me that The Old Pervert has asked her to marry him, but before that he wanted to have sex with her. You know, like the kind of things you buy at shop, try before you buy. Ada ke? What kind of short twisted mentality is that? Orang tua gatal.
Another guy, let's call him The Chef, is also pursuing The Black Widow, but he's more subtle than The Old Pervert. He uses kind words and romances to bring her fences down. He gives her flowers and cooks special dishes for her. To her, he was just a friend and kekadang she rimas with his advances but he never got the hint. I saw the text to her saying that one day they'll be together.
Someone warned The Chef's wife about him coming home late and put the blame to The Black Widow. They have assumed that The Black Widow is trying to 'rampas laki orang' as the Malays would put it. How sad. The woman in question does nothing, it's the man that have the itching between his legs, but weehoo... it's the woman who is the slut. How totally unfair.
There's a lot I can learn just looking at them. I hope that one day they will change, but that is wishful thinking. I don't want to end up being bitter, assuming and nasty like these people because I know I am better than the rest of them.
Saturday 16 September 2006
of Poles, wedding and vodka
Ahhhhhh... I'm finally on holiday.
Krakow
Dah dua hari I'm in Poland.
I came here not knowing anything about Krakow because I don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't meet my expectation. That is how I was when I went to Barcelona, and Barca did amaze me with its beautiful architectures.
A few years back, Marc told me that Krakow is similar to Prague but luckily I didn't remember him saying that until he asked me after I left the city. To me, Krakow is so much better. The Poles are absolutely the friendliest lot I ever met.
When we arrived in the city, we were trying to find a parking space for the car when a couple of workmen, out of the blue, came to us and told us, in sign language, that we need to find a guy in vest and pay for the fee. They went out of their way and that made us feel welcome.
In the old days, Krakow was their capital city and was a very prominence education, business and cultural centre before it was moved to Warsaw. After the Nazi German occupation, Warsaw was completely destroyed and had to be rebuild from stratch. However, Krakow escaped complete destruction and managed to maintain its old look thus preserving the local arts and architectures.
Although the city is not modern and maybe about 10 years behind than most of the developing countries, it has its own charms. The serenity of Krakow just blew my head off. I just can't describe the feeling.
Updates 19/09
The next day, The Mentor and I can't really decide where to go because there are a few places worth visiting since we have just another day before we leave to go to Torun, we decided to forgo our plan to drive to Zakopane and the Tatra Mountains. Instead we drove to the salt mines in Wieliczka and then to the largest Nazi concentration camp in Oswiecim, commonly known by its German name Auschwitz. I didn't even know that Auschwitz is very close to Krakow and that shows I didn't do my homework before going on holiday :)
The tour at the mines was really good and we were taken further than 130 feet underground. However, the guide at Auschwitz wasn't that impressive as she didn't speak up and kept repeating whatever was written on the pictures on the walls. Halfway through, we sneak out and left the group to wander on our own.
The Wedding
The next day, we left the city really early in the morning at 8am because we were told that it takes about 6 hours to get to Torun. Since the wedding is at 4 pm, we thought we would be there at 2 just in time to check in at the hotel and get change. The road condition is probably worst than Malaysia but with the EU money that Poland is getting, they will definitely improve in the next few years.
Along the way, we saw quite a lot of people selling wild mushrooms and homegrown vegetables on the side of the road. One common thing between Malaysians and Poles is that they drive and tailgate the front cars very closely and when they overtake I felt my blood rushes to my head. Dang scarry!
When we got to the hotel, it was already 10 to 3 and Marc was already waiting for us in the lobby. Quickly, I had shower and changed into my dress and was ready in 20 minutes. By the time we got to the church, the bride has just arrived and going into the waiting room.
This was my first Roman Catholic wedding, and it was quite interesting and overwhelming to be able to experience it. It's obviously different from the English wedding or other Christian weddings because of the Polish norms and culture. The bride and groom's parents were delighted that we were there and we got a very special treatment and attention from them.
Throughout the one-hour ceremony, I was lucky that Marc was there to translate everything that was said by the priest and the couples. I even had tears in my eyes, soppy me!
While exchanging the vows, you can see that the groom can only see her and no one else mattered. He looked so happy and smiling all the way. I have to say that both of them looked absolutely stunning and handsome. After they came out from the church, everyone was waiting to greet them and I had to carry the heaviest and probably the biggest present I ever given to anyone. It actually filled up half of my luggage!
Before we leave, everyone threw lotsa coins on the floor and the couple had to pick every single one of them, with the help of their nephews. It's in their culture and it signifies that they have to work hard at getting their dreams and every bit of money or wealth they have, they can't waste it.
The Reception
Almost all guests then proceeded to the reception at Rubbens Hotel in the outskirt of Torun. My jaws dropped when we were told that the party would go on until 4 am with lotsa food, dancing and, of course, vodka. There were 1 Brit from the office, his wife, The Mentor, me, Marc and the bride's neighbours at our table.
As soon as the food arrived, the groom's father came to our table and put 2 bottles of vodka. I dreaded the evening for I know that I would probably get stoned. All night long, we were made very welcomed with the family coming by to sit and talk to us. After the happy couples had their dance, some of the men kept asking The Mentor and I to dance.
There I was, thinking bloody hell! I know how to move around when I went clubbing but I never did any proper ballroom dancing and I have two left feet. It was mind blowing and as the night goes by, I just let my hair down and go with the flow even though my feet were hurting. Past midnight, I stopped counting the vodka shots and was going barefooted. Steve's wife took me out for fresh air and made me to drink plenty of water. Steve was even worst than I was and slightly after 2 am, she took him to the room.
When it was time for the bride to throw her veil and the groom to throw his tie to the singles, Marc and I rushed forward but unfortunately we were not lucky. I should have fight my way and grab the veil. Heh!
And true to their word, the Poles can hold their drinks really well because they work it out with plenty of food and dancing in between the drinking session. So now their secret is out!
By the time we got to the hotel, it was already pass 4 am. With the dancing and all, it's no wonder that I went to straight to sleep as soon as I hit the bed.
The Kwiatkowski
The next day, we were invited to another party held by the couple. Yes folks! There was another party at the same hotel. This time it was a bit casual and more relaxing than the night before. It was a time to get acquainted and learn about each other. However, as we had another invitation for dinner at Marc's , we went to the party, stayed just less than an hour and left for a little town north of Torun.
Whenever Marc called home, he would let me talk to his mum, and because of that she grew fond of me and I her. She and his father was very much thrilled that we were coming that they went to an extra mile to prepare Polish cuisine.
He told me that his family live in a small town of Grudziadz in a flat dated back to the communist era, all greyish and looking like a box. However, since coming out of that era and since joining the EU, their government is doing a lot to improve. It is not such a small town after all. Although it does look a bit greyish and rundown, but the view of Vistula River from his flat is fantastic. With that view, I wonder why he left anyway.
During our visit, the hospitality showed by them is out of this world. If you ever thought of going to Poland (or any other Eastern European countries), you should go now when everything is very cheap and unspoil. The Mentor and I had a really big lunch (trust me it was really good food) in the city centre of Torun right in the middle of the square with stunning views and we paid only £10 for the whole lot.
Torun is the birth place of a famous astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus and listed as one of the UNESCO World Heritage Sites and has many monuments from the Middle Ages and many Gothic buildings. The old city of Krakow has a rich architecture mostly Renaissance and also listed as World Heritage Site.
It was a very good break, and definitely one that I will remember forever. However, I have to be true and honest to myself. For some reason, I had a feeling that it is not a country that I will visit again. Saying that, never say never!
Krakow
Dah dua hari I'm in Poland.
I came here not knowing anything about Krakow because I don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't meet my expectation. That is how I was when I went to Barcelona, and Barca did amaze me with its beautiful architectures.
A few years back, Marc told me that Krakow is similar to Prague but luckily I didn't remember him saying that until he asked me after I left the city. To me, Krakow is so much better. The Poles are absolutely the friendliest lot I ever met.
When we arrived in the city, we were trying to find a parking space for the car when a couple of workmen, out of the blue, came to us and told us, in sign language, that we need to find a guy in vest and pay for the fee. They went out of their way and that made us feel welcome.
In the old days, Krakow was their capital city and was a very prominence education, business and cultural centre before it was moved to Warsaw. After the Nazi German occupation, Warsaw was completely destroyed and had to be rebuild from stratch. However, Krakow escaped complete destruction and managed to maintain its old look thus preserving the local arts and architectures.
Although the city is not modern and maybe about 10 years behind than most of the developing countries, it has its own charms. The serenity of Krakow just blew my head off. I just can't describe the feeling.
Updates 19/09
The next day, The Mentor and I can't really decide where to go because there are a few places worth visiting since we have just another day before we leave to go to Torun, we decided to forgo our plan to drive to Zakopane and the Tatra Mountains. Instead we drove to the salt mines in Wieliczka and then to the largest Nazi concentration camp in Oswiecim, commonly known by its German name Auschwitz. I didn't even know that Auschwitz is very close to Krakow and that shows I didn't do my homework before going on holiday :)
The tour at the mines was really good and we were taken further than 130 feet underground. However, the guide at Auschwitz wasn't that impressive as she didn't speak up and kept repeating whatever was written on the pictures on the walls. Halfway through, we sneak out and left the group to wander on our own.
The Wedding
The next day, we left the city really early in the morning at 8am because we were told that it takes about 6 hours to get to Torun. Since the wedding is at 4 pm, we thought we would be there at 2 just in time to check in at the hotel and get change. The road condition is probably worst than Malaysia but with the EU money that Poland is getting, they will definitely improve in the next few years.
Along the way, we saw quite a lot of people selling wild mushrooms and homegrown vegetables on the side of the road. One common thing between Malaysians and Poles is that they drive and tailgate the front cars very closely and when they overtake I felt my blood rushes to my head. Dang scarry!
When we got to the hotel, it was already 10 to 3 and Marc was already waiting for us in the lobby. Quickly, I had shower and changed into my dress and was ready in 20 minutes. By the time we got to the church, the bride has just arrived and going into the waiting room.
This was my first Roman Catholic wedding, and it was quite interesting and overwhelming to be able to experience it. It's obviously different from the English wedding or other Christian weddings because of the Polish norms and culture. The bride and groom's parents were delighted that we were there and we got a very special treatment and attention from them.
Throughout the one-hour ceremony, I was lucky that Marc was there to translate everything that was said by the priest and the couples. I even had tears in my eyes, soppy me!
While exchanging the vows, you can see that the groom can only see her and no one else mattered. He looked so happy and smiling all the way. I have to say that both of them looked absolutely stunning and handsome. After they came out from the church, everyone was waiting to greet them and I had to carry the heaviest and probably the biggest present I ever given to anyone. It actually filled up half of my luggage!
Before we leave, everyone threw lotsa coins on the floor and the couple had to pick every single one of them, with the help of their nephews. It's in their culture and it signifies that they have to work hard at getting their dreams and every bit of money or wealth they have, they can't waste it.
The Reception
Almost all guests then proceeded to the reception at Rubbens Hotel in the outskirt of Torun. My jaws dropped when we were told that the party would go on until 4 am with lotsa food, dancing and, of course, vodka. There were 1 Brit from the office, his wife, The Mentor, me, Marc and the bride's neighbours at our table.
As soon as the food arrived, the groom's father came to our table and put 2 bottles of vodka. I dreaded the evening for I know that I would probably get stoned. All night long, we were made very welcomed with the family coming by to sit and talk to us. After the happy couples had their dance, some of the men kept asking The Mentor and I to dance.
There I was, thinking bloody hell! I know how to move around when I went clubbing but I never did any proper ballroom dancing and I have two left feet. It was mind blowing and as the night goes by, I just let my hair down and go with the flow even though my feet were hurting. Past midnight, I stopped counting the vodka shots and was going barefooted. Steve's wife took me out for fresh air and made me to drink plenty of water. Steve was even worst than I was and slightly after 2 am, she took him to the room.
When it was time for the bride to throw her veil and the groom to throw his tie to the singles, Marc and I rushed forward but unfortunately we were not lucky. I should have fight my way and grab the veil. Heh!
And true to their word, the Poles can hold their drinks really well because they work it out with plenty of food and dancing in between the drinking session. So now their secret is out!
By the time we got to the hotel, it was already pass 4 am. With the dancing and all, it's no wonder that I went to straight to sleep as soon as I hit the bed.
The Kwiatkowski
The next day, we were invited to another party held by the couple. Yes folks! There was another party at the same hotel. This time it was a bit casual and more relaxing than the night before. It was a time to get acquainted and learn about each other. However, as we had another invitation for dinner at Marc's , we went to the party, stayed just less than an hour and left for a little town north of Torun.
Whenever Marc called home, he would let me talk to his mum, and because of that she grew fond of me and I her. She and his father was very much thrilled that we were coming that they went to an extra mile to prepare Polish cuisine.
He told me that his family live in a small town of Grudziadz in a flat dated back to the communist era, all greyish and looking like a box. However, since coming out of that era and since joining the EU, their government is doing a lot to improve. It is not such a small town after all. Although it does look a bit greyish and rundown, but the view of Vistula River from his flat is fantastic. With that view, I wonder why he left anyway.
During our visit, the hospitality showed by them is out of this world. If you ever thought of going to Poland (or any other Eastern European countries), you should go now when everything is very cheap and unspoil. The Mentor and I had a really big lunch (trust me it was really good food) in the city centre of Torun right in the middle of the square with stunning views and we paid only £10 for the whole lot.
Torun is the birth place of a famous astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus and listed as one of the UNESCO World Heritage Sites and has many monuments from the Middle Ages and many Gothic buildings. The old city of Krakow has a rich architecture mostly Renaissance and also listed as World Heritage Site.
It was a very good break, and definitely one that I will remember forever. However, I have to be true and honest to myself. For some reason, I had a feeling that it is not a country that I will visit again. Saying that, never say never!
Thursday 14 September 2006
Can I? Can I? Please?
Currently, I have a few questions playing in my mind. Questions that do not really require an answer because it's more like me poking at an issue that is not an issue.
Is it just me or you feel it too?
Ok. So here's one issue that I have no business questioning. When you meet your friends or relatives, you give them a kiss (or tripple kisses) on the cheeks. What is the significant of that kisses? How many times do we have to errr... blow? Do we actually just pressing our cheeks and blow the kiss to the air?
I honestly feel that there's nothing to it. It feels like it is all false and pretending.
Personally, I didn't feel it does anything to me. I prefer the back slapping real bear hug to show that I really miss them and I appreciate them for whatever, ie for coming to meet me, or for just being there. It gives me a sense of belonging and closeness between two people. Hug like you really mean it.
I have been observing that when people become close, they take hugging for granted. We say goodnight to each other while we walk up the stairs or while we watch the telly. We didn't take time to stop doing what we were doing, look at the other person in the eyes, say what needed to be said and mean it.
We hardly ever show affection. I, myself admit that I have problem looking straight in the eyes, but that doesn't mean that I do not care. I am shy what. No. The real reason is that I do not want people to misunderstand the affection that I want to show for something else.
Heh. I am very affectionate babeh :)
Can I have a hug?
Is it just me or you feel it too?
Ok. So here's one issue that I have no business questioning. When you meet your friends or relatives, you give them a kiss (or tripple kisses) on the cheeks. What is the significant of that kisses? How many times do we have to errr... blow? Do we actually just pressing our cheeks and blow the kiss to the air?
I honestly feel that there's nothing to it. It feels like it is all false and pretending.
Personally, I didn't feel it does anything to me. I prefer the back slapping real bear hug to show that I really miss them and I appreciate them for whatever, ie for coming to meet me, or for just being there. It gives me a sense of belonging and closeness between two people. Hug like you really mean it.
I have been observing that when people become close, they take hugging for granted. We say goodnight to each other while we walk up the stairs or while we watch the telly. We didn't take time to stop doing what we were doing, look at the other person in the eyes, say what needed to be said and mean it.
We hardly ever show affection. I, myself admit that I have problem looking straight in the eyes, but that doesn't mean that I do not care. I am shy what. No. The real reason is that I do not want people to misunderstand the affection that I want to show for something else.
Heh. I am very affectionate babeh :)
Can I have a hug?
Tuesday 12 September 2006
Don't blame me if I hate you. You asked for it!
After many years of happily separated from my own community, I thought that it would be a good idea to integrate and blend in with my own people. I do miss the occasional banter, the friendliest gestures and the familiarity of having the same root.
I thought I would miss out on a few things if I keep away. I thought that the people in this metropolis would be slightly different. I thought that they'd be more open. I thought wrong.
Tonight, I realised why I kept away from people like you. For a while there, I remember why I hate the melayu and the spoilt brats.
Go ahead. Bash me for hating my own race, but what good is my people to me if they keep mocking me and my job?
It would be wrong to say that I am comfortable with what I am doing now. I never felt this way before but after moving here, I felt like I'm up for unwelcome criticism and sneering. Maybe it is my fault for feeling this way, maybe it is just my feeling. And they will say, 'jangan pedulikan people like this', 'not all malays like this'... bla bla bla.... If that's what you're going to say, fuck off from my blog!
I am bloody angry, disappointed and hurt.
How could I not feel hurt? The first time it happened I kept quiet. I put it down to naivety. I could still laugh about it when they say my van is 'van perompak'. Tapi malam ni I cannot tahan. How could they? Cakap tak pakai otak ke? Mak bapak tak ajar anak ke? Kurang ajar punya budak! Cakap pun tak reti berlapis.
I thought I am strong and tough, and I kept saying to myself that I didn't give a damn about what people think of me. The truth is I am very sensitive and sometimes cepat merajuk. You can say what you like about me, but I had enough of people laughing at my friends who ride with me in my ice cream van. All I need is just a little respect. I tak malu drive my van and I am not ashamed of my job, but people like you makes me retreat into my shell. You are not worth my time. And I hate you and pity you for having that short fused otak!
For a while there, I remember why I was reluctant to hire the melayu to help me out when I was desperate. I prefer the Poles. I am going to be honest here. To those I helped, did I get as much as a thank you note from you? No, right? So, forget about asking for a part time job, for a favour or for anything else. Pergi mampus korang lah. I pun survived on my own. At least the Poles always appreciate what I've done for them.
I may not make as much money as you (get from fama). I don't hold fancy titles to my name. But I work my butt off to support myself. Ada I asked for your help? Ada I menyusahkan hidup korang? Nasi aku makan, korang bayar ke? Bila nak tumpang, nak ajak I jalan, sanggup pulak korang naik van perompak tu yek?
Bloody ungrateful bitch!
I thought I would miss out on a few things if I keep away. I thought that the people in this metropolis would be slightly different. I thought that they'd be more open. I thought wrong.
Tonight, I realised why I kept away from people like you. For a while there, I remember why I hate the melayu and the spoilt brats.
Go ahead. Bash me for hating my own race, but what good is my people to me if they keep mocking me and my job?
It would be wrong to say that I am comfortable with what I am doing now. I never felt this way before but after moving here, I felt like I'm up for unwelcome criticism and sneering. Maybe it is my fault for feeling this way, maybe it is just my feeling. And they will say, 'jangan pedulikan people like this', 'not all malays like this'... bla bla bla.... If that's what you're going to say, fuck off from my blog!
I am bloody angry, disappointed and hurt.
How could I not feel hurt? The first time it happened I kept quiet. I put it down to naivety. I could still laugh about it when they say my van is 'van perompak'. Tapi malam ni I cannot tahan. How could they? Cakap tak pakai otak ke? Mak bapak tak ajar anak ke? Kurang ajar punya budak! Cakap pun tak reti berlapis.
I thought I am strong and tough, and I kept saying to myself that I didn't give a damn about what people think of me. The truth is I am very sensitive and sometimes cepat merajuk. You can say what you like about me, but I had enough of people laughing at my friends who ride with me in my ice cream van. All I need is just a little respect. I tak malu drive my van and I am not ashamed of my job, but people like you makes me retreat into my shell. You are not worth my time. And I hate you and pity you for having that short fused otak!
For a while there, I remember why I was reluctant to hire the melayu to help me out when I was desperate. I prefer the Poles. I am going to be honest here. To those I helped, did I get as much as a thank you note from you? No, right? So, forget about asking for a part time job, for a favour or for anything else. Pergi mampus korang lah. I pun survived on my own. At least the Poles always appreciate what I've done for them.
I may not make as much money as you (get from fama). I don't hold fancy titles to my name. But I work my butt off to support myself. Ada I asked for your help? Ada I menyusahkan hidup korang? Nasi aku makan, korang bayar ke? Bila nak tumpang, nak ajak I jalan, sanggup pulak korang naik van perompak tu yek?
Bloody ungrateful bitch!
Tuesday 5 September 2006
of past life and being manja
Ever since I become friend with The Black Widow, I enjoy late night chats and lepaks. Although I normally reserve my lepak time with just close friends, I have to admit that this time I quite like it even though we didn't know each other prior to this.
In my opinion, we are quite similar in some ways yet very different in many other ways. That's what make it all the more interesting. Being amicable, friendly and full of good-natured traits, we found ourselves fast becoming close friends.
For the second time since I come to the UK, I feel that there is someone genuine who share similarities and that there is someone who would listen to my rants and nonsense, other than the people who read my blog. This is a real person whom I can talk to without reservation, and someone who won't hesitate in telling me what is on her mind.
She let me be me, and doesn't judge what I did in my past life. I dunno, as a rule, I just don't like talking about me or my problems or my shortfalls or my worry. With our chatting sessions, I gradually open up more than I realised. She listened and commented here and there, but one thing she never did was criticising my behaviours. I never felt that she looks down at me or at what I do for a living or at my lack of agama or wealth. Amazing enough, she told me what she did is praying for me to change to become a better person than I am now.
I choked when I hear that. Here is a person who knows little about me and that I am not a good Muslim. The daily praying ritual is not the top priority in my to do lists. I drink when I feel like it. I'm ashamed to say I pretty much did everything that is forbidden that I might be the first to go to hell. I admit all that.
Yet, she makes me feel that there's still something out there for me to reach out. There's still God watching over me. Tonight, without shame, I asked about the qiblat. And I am grateful that she didn't point her finger at me or give that disapproving look. To learn that she has that much faith makes me dizzy in a good way.
Simultaneously, I enjoy listening to her tales of her children and I try to be someone she can confide in when she's in dilemma over the many issues she encounters. She, in her own way, is coping with her loss and heartache of being away from loved ones. I noticed that we both need this emotional bonding due to the fact that our best friends are so far away. We have no one else to turn to who could understand our sensitivity and emotional disability.
It's quite rare to find a person who share the same principles and understand the need to be one own self. We refuse to meddle into other people's businesses and in return all we ask is for the others not to pry into our precious lives.
I won't hesitate to give my heart if she asked for it because I think she feels the same. She needs someone to be there, yet leaves her be when she feels suffocated. Tonight, I listened to her ranting about the harrasment she gets from the men who lust after her and expect her to give back something in return for their attention or so called kindness that they bestowed upon her. I pity her when I hear about the emotional blackmail people used on her to get what they want.
On most days I look forward to having our late night session. I was used to being so independent and rely on myself that when I first met her I feel a little awkward letting her take charge, and vice versa. Little by little, we have established an understanding that one of us would be the stronger one and keep the other one in line whenever needed. She made an effort to learn about the things I like and dislike and that warms my heart. I never knew what it feels like to manja, but she let me manja with her whenever I feel like it and when she wants to manja with me, I let her. It's funny though, cause both of us are not the giggly, girly girl kinda person.
On the other hand, I think that this bond between us has make others slightly uneasy. I know sometimes this relationship, if I may call it a relationship, is viewed with suspicion or even envy. I know it's still at an early stage but I hope it is strong enough to withstand all obstacles. I am beginning to love this woman just like I love my best friends.
In my opinion, we are quite similar in some ways yet very different in many other ways. That's what make it all the more interesting. Being amicable, friendly and full of good-natured traits, we found ourselves fast becoming close friends.
For the second time since I come to the UK, I feel that there is someone genuine who share similarities and that there is someone who would listen to my rants and nonsense, other than the people who read my blog. This is a real person whom I can talk to without reservation, and someone who won't hesitate in telling me what is on her mind.
She let me be me, and doesn't judge what I did in my past life. I dunno, as a rule, I just don't like talking about me or my problems or my shortfalls or my worry. With our chatting sessions, I gradually open up more than I realised. She listened and commented here and there, but one thing she never did was criticising my behaviours. I never felt that she looks down at me or at what I do for a living or at my lack of agama or wealth. Amazing enough, she told me what she did is praying for me to change to become a better person than I am now.
I choked when I hear that. Here is a person who knows little about me and that I am not a good Muslim. The daily praying ritual is not the top priority in my to do lists. I drink when I feel like it. I'm ashamed to say I pretty much did everything that is forbidden that I might be the first to go to hell. I admit all that.
Yet, she makes me feel that there's still something out there for me to reach out. There's still God watching over me. Tonight, without shame, I asked about the qiblat. And I am grateful that she didn't point her finger at me or give that disapproving look. To learn that she has that much faith makes me dizzy in a good way.
Simultaneously, I enjoy listening to her tales of her children and I try to be someone she can confide in when she's in dilemma over the many issues she encounters. She, in her own way, is coping with her loss and heartache of being away from loved ones. I noticed that we both need this emotional bonding due to the fact that our best friends are so far away. We have no one else to turn to who could understand our sensitivity and emotional disability.
It's quite rare to find a person who share the same principles and understand the need to be one own self. We refuse to meddle into other people's businesses and in return all we ask is for the others not to pry into our precious lives.
I won't hesitate to give my heart if she asked for it because I think she feels the same. She needs someone to be there, yet leaves her be when she feels suffocated. Tonight, I listened to her ranting about the harrasment she gets from the men who lust after her and expect her to give back something in return for their attention or so called kindness that they bestowed upon her. I pity her when I hear about the emotional blackmail people used on her to get what they want.
On most days I look forward to having our late night session. I was used to being so independent and rely on myself that when I first met her I feel a little awkward letting her take charge, and vice versa. Little by little, we have established an understanding that one of us would be the stronger one and keep the other one in line whenever needed. She made an effort to learn about the things I like and dislike and that warms my heart. I never knew what it feels like to manja, but she let me manja with her whenever I feel like it and when she wants to manja with me, I let her. It's funny though, cause both of us are not the giggly, girly girl kinda person.
On the other hand, I think that this bond between us has make others slightly uneasy. I know sometimes this relationship, if I may call it a relationship, is viewed with suspicion or even envy. I know it's still at an early stage but I hope it is strong enough to withstand all obstacles. I am beginning to love this woman just like I love my best friends.
Monday 4 September 2006
Sunday 3 September 2006
Ah, bosan aku dengan penat
Dalam masa kita melepasi hari-hari yang tidak pernah berhenti walau sesaat, aku seperti terpegun melihat kebanyakan anak-anak muda zaman sekarang yang tidak pandai membawa diri.
Masing-masing mengaku bahawa mereka adalah dari generasi moden dan semua adat sopan dan tatasusila adalah kolot dan ketinggalan zaman. Mereka lebih cepat melatah, tidak berfikiran panjang dan lebih kebaratan daripada orang barat sendiri.
Pada aku mereka semua tidak tahu menilai erti kebudayaan timur. Aku tahu walaupun aku ni tidak arif dan tidak mempraktikkan sangat nilai-nilai ketimuran, tapi aku masih sedar dari mana datangnya akar umbiku. Walaupun aku tinggal di negara yang kurang mengambil berat tentang adat, aku tidak mudah lupa sama sekali.
Aku masih lagi cuba menjaga hati dan menghormati orang. Takkan sekalipun aku kasari dengan bahasa kasar atau tindak tanduk yang boleh mengguris perasaan seseorang. Aku bukanlah seorang manusia yang sempurna tetapi aku tetap mahu mencuba.
Pada aku, sekiranya seseorang itu telah cuba memberitahu yang dia tidak mahu and tidak rela meminjamkan sesuatu kepada seseorang yang lain, maka orang itu tidak berhak mempertikaikan keputusan dia. Jangan pula di belakang nanti, diheboh-hebohkan cerita yang kurang enak didengar. It yang aku betul-betul tidak gemar tetapi itulah yang selalu terjadi.
Kita sebagai manusia, mesti juga harus cepat berfikir dan jangan mengharap bulan itu akan jatuh ke riba. Kalau boleh taik bintang pun jangan diharapkan sangat. Dalam hidup ini kita mesti berani. Kerana jika kita takut, bermakna kita tidak akan dapat meneruskan perjalanan kita dan kita akan terus hidup dalam keadaan yang sentiasa gusar. Apakah itu yang kita mahu?
Aku perhatikan dari sini seorang anak gadis yang dihantar mamanya untuk mendalami ilmu dunia, namun dia resah dan enggan membaiki hidupnya sendiri sebaliknya dia lebih suka berseronokan. Bila ditanya kenapa ilmu pengetahuan ditolak ke tepi katanya dia rindu mama dan kawan-kawan di sana. Dia telah gagal sebelum dia bermula. Sayang sekali, mama itu turuti sahaja kehendak dia. Mahu wang, nah sudah kumasukkan ke dalam akaunmu! Mahu kereta, nah sudah kubelikan Honda City yang baru lagi berkilat. Di mana salah mereka? Salahkah cara mereka menunjukkan kasih sayang?
Ah, bosan aku mendengar cerita yang sama. Anak itu salahkan ibunya. Aku pasti si ibu itu ada perasaan marah pada anaknya. Aku terasa semacam mahu ku pecahkan kepala anak gadis itu. Bangun dari tidurmu! Kau bukan lagi anak kecil. Sudah 24 tahun! Sudah bisa punya wang sendiri. Setidak-tidaknya kau sudah selesai dengan ilmu dunia yang pertama.
Anak yang manis, hidup ini masih panjang. Jangan terlalu mengharapkan pada orang tuanya. Mereka juga perlukan masa untuk kehidupan mereka sendiri setelah penat mereka besarkan kamu. Biarlah mereka merasa nikmat hidup and berbakti dengan cara yang lain pula sebelum mereka pergi. Di kala itu, di bahu siapa kamu mahu menangis?
Mungkin kamu semua merasakan bahawa aku tidak adil dalam membicarakan isu ini kerana aku sudah tidak punya orang tua. Mungkin benar juga fikiran kamu itu. Tetapi aku mahu kamu semua melihat isu ini dari pandangan aku pula. Dengan tiadanya bimbingan dari orang tuaku, aku seharusnya lebih hanyut dari jalan-jalan yang benar. Aku sepatutnya lebih rosak dan tidak menghiraukan adab dan budayaku. Siapa yang ada untuk menegurku ketika aku melalui saat kegelapan? Siapa yang peduli?
Tiada siapa yang menarik ku ke atas semula. Aku bangkit sendiri. Walaupun aku tidak dicurahkan dengan kekayaan harta benda tetapi aku masih terasa kasih yang ibu taburi. Aku masih teringat-ingat pesanan ibu supaya sentiasa berbudi. Sesungguhnya aku bersyukur walaupun aku tidak sebaik yang disangka, tetapi aku masih ingat bahawa aku ini anak ibuku yang sedang menanti ku di pintu syurga.
ps: Telah terlalu lama saya mengabaikan bahasa ibunda saya, jadi hari ini saya ingin mencuba. Kekok rasanya dan mungkin tidak sedap dibaca tetapi ini sahaja yang saya mampu ikhtiarkan.
Masing-masing mengaku bahawa mereka adalah dari generasi moden dan semua adat sopan dan tatasusila adalah kolot dan ketinggalan zaman. Mereka lebih cepat melatah, tidak berfikiran panjang dan lebih kebaratan daripada orang barat sendiri.
Pada aku mereka semua tidak tahu menilai erti kebudayaan timur. Aku tahu walaupun aku ni tidak arif dan tidak mempraktikkan sangat nilai-nilai ketimuran, tapi aku masih sedar dari mana datangnya akar umbiku. Walaupun aku tinggal di negara yang kurang mengambil berat tentang adat, aku tidak mudah lupa sama sekali.
Aku masih lagi cuba menjaga hati dan menghormati orang. Takkan sekalipun aku kasari dengan bahasa kasar atau tindak tanduk yang boleh mengguris perasaan seseorang. Aku bukanlah seorang manusia yang sempurna tetapi aku tetap mahu mencuba.
Pada aku, sekiranya seseorang itu telah cuba memberitahu yang dia tidak mahu and tidak rela meminjamkan sesuatu kepada seseorang yang lain, maka orang itu tidak berhak mempertikaikan keputusan dia. Jangan pula di belakang nanti, diheboh-hebohkan cerita yang kurang enak didengar. It yang aku betul-betul tidak gemar tetapi itulah yang selalu terjadi.
Kita sebagai manusia, mesti juga harus cepat berfikir dan jangan mengharap bulan itu akan jatuh ke riba. Kalau boleh taik bintang pun jangan diharapkan sangat. Dalam hidup ini kita mesti berani. Kerana jika kita takut, bermakna kita tidak akan dapat meneruskan perjalanan kita dan kita akan terus hidup dalam keadaan yang sentiasa gusar. Apakah itu yang kita mahu?
Aku perhatikan dari sini seorang anak gadis yang dihantar mamanya untuk mendalami ilmu dunia, namun dia resah dan enggan membaiki hidupnya sendiri sebaliknya dia lebih suka berseronokan. Bila ditanya kenapa ilmu pengetahuan ditolak ke tepi katanya dia rindu mama dan kawan-kawan di sana. Dia telah gagal sebelum dia bermula. Sayang sekali, mama itu turuti sahaja kehendak dia. Mahu wang, nah sudah kumasukkan ke dalam akaunmu! Mahu kereta, nah sudah kubelikan Honda City yang baru lagi berkilat. Di mana salah mereka? Salahkah cara mereka menunjukkan kasih sayang?
Ah, bosan aku mendengar cerita yang sama. Anak itu salahkan ibunya. Aku pasti si ibu itu ada perasaan marah pada anaknya. Aku terasa semacam mahu ku pecahkan kepala anak gadis itu. Bangun dari tidurmu! Kau bukan lagi anak kecil. Sudah 24 tahun! Sudah bisa punya wang sendiri. Setidak-tidaknya kau sudah selesai dengan ilmu dunia yang pertama.
Anak yang manis, hidup ini masih panjang. Jangan terlalu mengharapkan pada orang tuanya. Mereka juga perlukan masa untuk kehidupan mereka sendiri setelah penat mereka besarkan kamu. Biarlah mereka merasa nikmat hidup and berbakti dengan cara yang lain pula sebelum mereka pergi. Di kala itu, di bahu siapa kamu mahu menangis?
Mungkin kamu semua merasakan bahawa aku tidak adil dalam membicarakan isu ini kerana aku sudah tidak punya orang tua. Mungkin benar juga fikiran kamu itu. Tetapi aku mahu kamu semua melihat isu ini dari pandangan aku pula. Dengan tiadanya bimbingan dari orang tuaku, aku seharusnya lebih hanyut dari jalan-jalan yang benar. Aku sepatutnya lebih rosak dan tidak menghiraukan adab dan budayaku. Siapa yang ada untuk menegurku ketika aku melalui saat kegelapan? Siapa yang peduli?
Tiada siapa yang menarik ku ke atas semula. Aku bangkit sendiri. Walaupun aku tidak dicurahkan dengan kekayaan harta benda tetapi aku masih terasa kasih yang ibu taburi. Aku masih teringat-ingat pesanan ibu supaya sentiasa berbudi. Sesungguhnya aku bersyukur walaupun aku tidak sebaik yang disangka, tetapi aku masih ingat bahawa aku ini anak ibuku yang sedang menanti ku di pintu syurga.
ps: Telah terlalu lama saya mengabaikan bahasa ibunda saya, jadi hari ini saya ingin mencuba. Kekok rasanya dan mungkin tidak sedap dibaca tetapi ini sahaja yang saya mampu ikhtiarkan.
Friday 1 September 2006
of lust and kawin
It is quite funny to see an old man merajuk. It's even worse when he think that it's cute to merajuk with the woman he is wooing.
Wait a minute, wooing is not the correct word here. He doesn't know how to court a woman, nor does he know how to be smooth and subtle with his moves. He hasn't got a clue how to tambat hati the woman he lust after. It is indeed more about lust than love.
He is just one of the many Malay men who don't give enough attention and thoughts to the little things that matter to women.
Does he expect The Black Widow to fall for him by saying that he will buy her a house? There are some women out there who would jump at the offer, no doubt about it. But there are still women with enough dignity, yet men like The Pervert wouldn't care for it. Dignity? What dignity? Kawin dengan saya cukuplah. Habis cerita.
Dia ingat kawin ni cerita senang ke? Geli betul when I hear him likening the hair on her arms to her pubic hair. Is that what he calls wooing? Eeee... geli geli.
Marriage is not all about sex. It's about companionship, friendship, understanding and tolerance. Maybe that's why I haven't met my match who would be my companion, my friend, understands my needs and tolerate my nonsense.
Kalau nak kawin setakat nak halalkan sex but abaikan the other needs, I'd say forget about it. I'm sure the poor Black Widow can see beyond that, and I don't think that is all she wants in a marriage.
Is it any wonder why many of us lose faith in our own men and love to bash them?
Wait a minute, wooing is not the correct word here. He doesn't know how to court a woman, nor does he know how to be smooth and subtle with his moves. He hasn't got a clue how to tambat hati the woman he lust after. It is indeed more about lust than love.
He is just one of the many Malay men who don't give enough attention and thoughts to the little things that matter to women.
Does he expect The Black Widow to fall for him by saying that he will buy her a house? There are some women out there who would jump at the offer, no doubt about it. But there are still women with enough dignity, yet men like The Pervert wouldn't care for it. Dignity? What dignity? Kawin dengan saya cukuplah. Habis cerita.
Dia ingat kawin ni cerita senang ke? Geli betul when I hear him likening the hair on her arms to her pubic hair. Is that what he calls wooing? Eeee... geli geli.
Marriage is not all about sex. It's about companionship, friendship, understanding and tolerance. Maybe that's why I haven't met my match who would be my companion, my friend, understands my needs and tolerate my nonsense.
Kalau nak kawin setakat nak halalkan sex but abaikan the other needs, I'd say forget about it. I'm sure the poor Black Widow can see beyond that, and I don't think that is all she wants in a marriage.
Is it any wonder why many of us lose faith in our own men and love to bash them?
Wednesday 30 August 2006
growing pains
Once there's a story of men and women, of life and love and of happiness and sorrow.
Sometimes when we are too happy, we forget that one day we might be at the bottom of the wheel. We may think that tragedy would never strike us, but how so wrong we can be. Many things can happen in the blink of an eye. One day we are laughing, the next day we are crying.
When we are vulnerable many people will try to take advantage. Old friends we never met for ten years, or long lost realtives suddenly resurfaced. They become ruthless in their pursue, offering help and advices, pretending to be the ones that care when in fact they have their own agendas.
We probably didn't share similar stories or tragedies. Nor do we have the same approach to cope with our losses. Yet, we have the same destination. We left to find happiness on this isle we now call home.
I heard it so many times now that I am where I am today. The people here, I pity them because they have nothing better to do than talk nonsense.
Sometimes I wonder about people. I know that they may be worried or care about us, the gullible young women, but honest to God, I believe we are able to fend for ourselves. Personally, I think that it is good that they genuinely care but there will be times when we want to be by ourselves. Except that the less genuine ones won't leave us alone.
It doesn't matter what we do with our time. If I want to drown in my sorrow, or sleep the whole day or if I want to reflect on my life, they don't need to know unless I want them to know. It is in fact my private moments.
What I do in my own time is my business. If I want to be friend with one person but not the other, it's my business. The thing about being at this place is that whatever comments being made by someone will spread around so fast like an epidemic.
"Pegi Tinseltown tak ajak I pun", "eh sekarang sultanlingga rapat dengan ewok yea?", "mana menghilang diri tak nampak for a few days?"
I don't want to risk sounding like an arrogant bitch but I can't understand why.
Why do you care that I went out for dinner with someone and not invited you? Have you invited me to any of your outings? Do you need to keep tab on everybody's movement? Where does it hurt, your ego?
Maybe it's time we all grow up even if some of them are old enough to be gramps.
Sometimes when we are too happy, we forget that one day we might be at the bottom of the wheel. We may think that tragedy would never strike us, but how so wrong we can be. Many things can happen in the blink of an eye. One day we are laughing, the next day we are crying.
When we are vulnerable many people will try to take advantage. Old friends we never met for ten years, or long lost realtives suddenly resurfaced. They become ruthless in their pursue, offering help and advices, pretending to be the ones that care when in fact they have their own agendas.
We probably didn't share similar stories or tragedies. Nor do we have the same approach to cope with our losses. Yet, we have the same destination. We left to find happiness on this isle we now call home.
I heard it so many times now that I am where I am today. The people here, I pity them because they have nothing better to do than talk nonsense.
Sometimes I wonder about people. I know that they may be worried or care about us, the gullible young women, but honest to God, I believe we are able to fend for ourselves. Personally, I think that it is good that they genuinely care but there will be times when we want to be by ourselves. Except that the less genuine ones won't leave us alone.
It doesn't matter what we do with our time. If I want to drown in my sorrow, or sleep the whole day or if I want to reflect on my life, they don't need to know unless I want them to know. It is in fact my private moments.
What I do in my own time is my business. If I want to be friend with one person but not the other, it's my business. The thing about being at this place is that whatever comments being made by someone will spread around so fast like an epidemic.
"Pegi Tinseltown tak ajak I pun", "eh sekarang sultanlingga rapat dengan ewok yea?", "mana menghilang diri tak nampak for a few days?"
I don't want to risk sounding like an arrogant bitch but I can't understand why.
Why do you care that I went out for dinner with someone and not invited you? Have you invited me to any of your outings? Do you need to keep tab on everybody's movement? Where does it hurt, your ego?
Maybe it's time we all grow up even if some of them are old enough to be gramps.
m3m3
I can't remember when was the last I did a meme. It has been a while and to be honest, I'm not a meme kinda girl. Yet, when I saw this at one blog, I just can't help myself.
1. Three things that scare me:
1. Three things that scare me:
- Being pregnant and giving birth
- Thrown in jail
- My life is short lived
2. Three people that make me laugh:
- JackJack
- Faith and Hope (the sitcom)
- I can't think as I hardly laugh these days
3. Three things I hate the most:
- Racism, classicism, cronyism, ah hell, any kind of discrimination
- Liars and people who likes to take advantage
- Spoilt rich kids
4. Three things I don’t understand:
- Why people like to mind other people business
- Why can't Muslims be united
- Chemistry, Physics, all sort of sciences
5. Three things I’m doing right now:
- Listening to The HITS
- Thinking about dinner
- Yawning
6. Three things I want to do before I die:
- Travel a lot more…for example, see the Mayan ruins, the Incan ruins, take TranSiberia Train Journey and go to beautiful islands ie Bora Bora...
- Work on a cruise ship
- Fly a plane
7. Three things I can do:
- Cook
- DIY at home
- Read maps and navigate a foreign city
8. Three ways to describe my personality:
- Very caring (once you get to know me)
- Highly sensitive and emotional
- Fiercely loyal
9. Three things I can’t do:
- Be bitchy
- Curl my tongue
- Pretend that I like someone when I can't stand him or her
10. Three things I think you should listen to:
- Srikandi Cintaku
- Your intuition
- Your heart (if different from your intuition)
11. Three things you should never listen to:
- Emotional blackmail
- Unfounded rumors
- George Bush
12. Three things I’d like to learn:
- How to shake my hips and dance like Shakira
- How not to cry at the drop of a hat
- How be a good talker and listener
13. Three favourite foods:
- Mee Rebus/Kari
- Nasi Goreng with ayam goreng
- Chocolate ice cream
14. Three beverages I drink regularly:
- Water
- Teh ais
- Iced tea (Hehehe)
15. Three shows I watched as a kid:
- Land of the Giants
- 3-2-1 Contact
- McGruder and Loud
Tuesday 29 August 2006
It's the end of August but not the end of me
It feels so good after a long break from blogging. Of course I miss my friends and their stories, but I am glad that I had taken some times to be alone and be completely free of writing or reading blogs.
I hope that that break actually rejuvenates me.
As I wrote before, I had to move and now I am closer to the centre. Right smack in the middle of Malaysian community. Dulu I tak suka bercampur gaul dengan Malaysians disebabkan beberapa incidents that happened to me. Sorry lah beb! I don't like their attitudes so I kept well away from them. I'm not saying that all of them are similar and have bad attitude, but I wasn't interested anymore. I was happy to be on my own.
Now, padan muka saya! After I moved, I met a few Malaysians and I started hearing many stories about some people I don't even know. The politics, MasyaAllah! The mulut, MasyaAllah!
Pening dah saya ni. I go down to the cafe, tengah makan kalu, ada saja yang datang melepak kat meja I nak bercerita about this and that. Eh.. tolonglah! I may know your name ok but I dunno you well enough for you to start your gossips.
I just moved here and I'm not interested and I don't really give a shit, so give me some space. Sometimes when I was reading newspaper I had to block my mind just because I didn't want to listen.
Funny enough this place also gives me some new insight and taught me about the various characters in people. I learn about the value of making new friends, the art of manipulating people (I'm rubbish at it!), the danger of gatal-ed men and the anguish and obstacles one had to face to be where one is today.
If you stay long enough at this place, you will make make friends and foes. You will hear rumours and unfounded accusations. Mulut orang, betul atau tidak, kita tak boleh nak tutup.
Soon there will be a drama swasta.
Like it or not, I'm here but I wish I was somewhere else.
I hope that that break actually rejuvenates me.
As I wrote before, I had to move and now I am closer to the centre. Right smack in the middle of Malaysian community. Dulu I tak suka bercampur gaul dengan Malaysians disebabkan beberapa incidents that happened to me. Sorry lah beb! I don't like their attitudes so I kept well away from them. I'm not saying that all of them are similar and have bad attitude, but I wasn't interested anymore. I was happy to be on my own.
Now, padan muka saya! After I moved, I met a few Malaysians and I started hearing many stories about some people I don't even know. The politics, MasyaAllah! The mulut, MasyaAllah!
Pening dah saya ni. I go down to the cafe, tengah makan kalu, ada saja yang datang melepak kat meja I nak bercerita about this and that. Eh.. tolonglah! I may know your name ok but I dunno you well enough for you to start your gossips.
I just moved here and I'm not interested and I don't really give a shit, so give me some space. Sometimes when I was reading newspaper I had to block my mind just because I didn't want to listen.
Funny enough this place also gives me some new insight and taught me about the various characters in people. I learn about the value of making new friends, the art of manipulating people (I'm rubbish at it!), the danger of gatal-ed men and the anguish and obstacles one had to face to be where one is today.
If you stay long enough at this place, you will make make friends and foes. You will hear rumours and unfounded accusations. Mulut orang, betul atau tidak, kita tak boleh nak tutup.
Soon there will be a drama swasta.
Like it or not, I'm here but I wish I was somewhere else.
Saturday 29 July 2006
Sunday 16 July 2006
of swoon and scar
After 4 seasons with them, I think I had it up till here (see me choking my throat!?) I used to be enthusiastic about the shows plus etc etc. It has been great but that's it, no more.
There's no motivation and top it up with bad management, I'll blow them a kiss at the end of the year. I'm giving myself till at least February and not a day longer.
The only thing that may make me sad to leave is a very nice bloke who behave like a perfect gentleman and could still make me blush. He made me swoon just by doing little things for me i.e opening the door, carrying a box etc etc. Silly girl! The bad thing is that I had the security and warehouse people asking me about the gossip that has been spreading around. Come on guys, leave us alone. We have yet to go for our first date. Hmmmm...
The Mentor has also decided to leave and will give her notice in Aug, but since her contract says she had to give 6 months notice she will still be around until early next year. She had a fit last Tuesday and screamed at the MD for all the problems that the office and production managers have been ignoring.
My analysis is that the new directors (except for The Mentor) are ruining the hard work of their predecessors. They had created an awareness to our brand name and we are known as the premium (aka posh) ice cream, but these ignorant Americans think that they know everything. It is true what people say about Americans, they are just ... damned ignorant and selfish.
Anyway, I'm excited about my future. Weird isn't it? I don't even know what I'd be doing or whether I'm gonna have a job or not come next year. It scares the hell out of me but I'm still excited! Cuckoo me :)
As I was driving at Bayswater, I imagine myself having less pressured weeks ahead. Just relax if you know what I mean. I fancy going to a hairdresser and trim my hair. It's gone from bad to worse.
This heat is getting to me. I am darker and burned, and now I wish for a cooler normal British weather. Please God help me! Rain pun rain lah, I don't mind.
And being the klutz that I am, I hit my face with the car door when I was trying to load my boxes this morning. It hurts like hell. If people saw me they might think that I was abused, and honestly, I felt like lepas kena tempeleng ngan laki je, not that I know what it's like though. I'm scarred for life!
There's no motivation and top it up with bad management, I'll blow them a kiss at the end of the year. I'm giving myself till at least February and not a day longer.
The only thing that may make me sad to leave is a very nice bloke who behave like a perfect gentleman and could still make me blush. He made me swoon just by doing little things for me i.e opening the door, carrying a box etc etc. Silly girl! The bad thing is that I had the security and warehouse people asking me about the gossip that has been spreading around. Come on guys, leave us alone. We have yet to go for our first date. Hmmmm...
The Mentor has also decided to leave and will give her notice in Aug, but since her contract says she had to give 6 months notice she will still be around until early next year. She had a fit last Tuesday and screamed at the MD for all the problems that the office and production managers have been ignoring.
My analysis is that the new directors (except for The Mentor) are ruining the hard work of their predecessors. They had created an awareness to our brand name and we are known as the premium (aka posh) ice cream, but these ignorant Americans think that they know everything. It is true what people say about Americans, they are just ... damned ignorant and selfish.
Anyway, I'm excited about my future. Weird isn't it? I don't even know what I'd be doing or whether I'm gonna have a job or not come next year. It scares the hell out of me but I'm still excited! Cuckoo me :)
As I was driving at Bayswater, I imagine myself having less pressured weeks ahead. Just relax if you know what I mean. I fancy going to a hairdresser and trim my hair. It's gone from bad to worse.
This heat is getting to me. I am darker and burned, and now I wish for a cooler normal British weather. Please God help me! Rain pun rain lah, I don't mind.
And being the klutz that I am, I hit my face with the car door when I was trying to load my boxes this morning. It hurts like hell. If people saw me they might think that I was abused, and honestly, I felt like lepas kena tempeleng ngan laki je, not that I know what it's like though. I'm scarred for life!
Thursday 13 July 2006
updates
Raihan will be performing at Holiday Villa on the 18th of this month. Please come and enjoy the best nasyid band ever. Honestly.
I never really paid attention to their music before but I saw them for the first time at Islam Expo last week. I had tears in my eyes just listening to their words. Made me feel humble and brought me back down to earth.
-----
I'd be moving this Saturday. Closer to central London where Oxford Street is just 10 minutes away and Hyde Park is near my doorstep. I'm sorta excited and scared too.
A few things happened on the 15th of July. It's CJ and Irfan's birthday. Then it's my father's 7th Death Anniversary. It seems hard when you see the word death, but how else would I say it, right?
-----
PS, here's another song for you.
Takkan Melupakanmu - Radja
I never really paid attention to their music before but I saw them for the first time at Islam Expo last week. I had tears in my eyes just listening to their words. Made me feel humble and brought me back down to earth.
-----
I'd be moving this Saturday. Closer to central London where Oxford Street is just 10 minutes away and Hyde Park is near my doorstep. I'm sorta excited and scared too.
A few things happened on the 15th of July. It's CJ and Irfan's birthday. Then it's my father's 7th Death Anniversary. It seems hard when you see the word death, but how else would I say it, right?
-----
PS, here's another song for you.
Takkan Melupakanmu - Radja
Friday 7 July 2006
song for the lovebirds
Dear my darling PS,
here's the first song for err... ahemm. Sorry it took me awhile to get started. You know lah kan. To others who listen, tell PS if you like what you hear. You can rate it too if you want (1-5 star).
Buat Aku Tersenyum - Sheila on 7
here's the first song for err... ahemm. Sorry it took me awhile to get started. You know lah kan. To others who listen, tell PS if you like what you hear. You can rate it too if you want (1-5 star).
Buat Aku Tersenyum - Sheila on 7
Monday 26 June 2006
A few firsts
Thank you for all of you who wished me well on my birthday. Today really mean something for me because this is the first time in 4 years I didn't have to work on my birthday.
It has been a really good weekend I have to say.
It started on Friday evening when The Mentor and I were chatting and she asked what I wanted for my birthday. I jokingly said a ride on a hot air balloon, and without hesitating, she asked me to book it. That made me a little emotional because I could not believe what I heard and it shows that she does really care and though I work for her, she always treats me like family. I couldn't ask for a better boss.
The balloon ride, if I ever went on it, would probably be one of the best gifts I ever received and it could be my first and only experience.
Plus I got to enter the Buckingham Palace Garden. Even though it was for work, but hey, how many of us get that kind of chance?
Then it was the lunch organised by Kakteh, Jane & co. The tomyam steamboat was out of this world. This was the first time in my life having a steamboat and I like it a lot. It was a feast fit for a princess! Hehehe.
And later a surprised cake, obviously the boy on the cake is Becks scoring for England, which he did today!
This morning I didn't have any breakfast simply because nak simpan perut for Kakteh's special mee bandung. At least I managed to jaga my manner and not slurp the gravy like one really hungry woman. Kalau boleh tu sampai nak hirup kuah lah! :)
Later, I went out to Leicester Square to meet up Kfiatek and Agata, and was greeted with a celebration by the England fans as we win against Ecuador. Those who said to leave the skipper out, you must be joking me!
K & A said they had a surprise for me. Apparently, there was another first for me, again, as we went up the London Eye a while later and had nice views of all of London.
To top it all, we had a nice dinner at a Mexican restaurant with fantastic food, good music and great company. Ahhhh...
Thank you everyone but you have to excuse me now, as I have to take a break and give my stomach a little rest. Thank God birthday only comes once a year!
It has been a really good weekend I have to say.
It started on Friday evening when The Mentor and I were chatting and she asked what I wanted for my birthday. I jokingly said a ride on a hot air balloon, and without hesitating, she asked me to book it. That made me a little emotional because I could not believe what I heard and it shows that she does really care and though I work for her, she always treats me like family. I couldn't ask for a better boss.The balloon ride, if I ever went on it, would probably be one of the best gifts I ever received and it could be my first and only experience.
Plus I got to enter the Buckingham Palace Garden. Even though it was for work, but hey, how many of us get that kind of chance?
Then it was the lunch organised by Kakteh, Jane & co. The tomyam steamboat was out of this world. This was the first time in my life having a steamboat and I like it a lot. It was a feast fit for a princess! Hehehe.
And later a surprised cake, obviously the boy on the cake is Becks scoring for England, which he did today!This morning I didn't have any breakfast simply because nak simpan perut for Kakteh's special mee bandung. At least I managed to jaga my manner and not slurp the gravy like one really hungry woman. Kalau boleh tu sampai nak hirup kuah lah! :)
Later, I went out to Leicester Square to meet up Kfiatek and Agata, and was greeted with a celebration by the England fans as we win against Ecuador. Those who said to leave the skipper out, you must be joking me!
K & A said they had a surprise for me. Apparently, there was another first for me, again, as we went up the London Eye a while later and had nice views of all of London.
To top it all, we had a nice dinner at a Mexican restaurant with fantastic food, good music and great company. Ahhhh...
Thank you everyone but you have to excuse me now, as I have to take a break and give my stomach a little rest. Thank God birthday only comes once a year!
Wednesday 21 June 2006
unlucky star
How much more unlucky I have to be? Why does this happened to me every six months?
What sucks is that I had no control over the things that forced me to move, again. Yes, you heard me right.
Dammit.I.dowan.to.move.but.I.have.to. :( Nak marah pun tak guna
I am now a certified nomad.
What sucks is that I had no control over the things that forced me to move, again. Yes, you heard me right.
Dammit.I.dowan.to.move.but.I.have.to. :( Nak marah pun tak guna
I am now a certified nomad.
Friday 16 June 2006
of HRC
On Wednesday, Hard Rock Cafe London celebrated their 35th anniversary, and as always, we were asked to be there to give away samples.
Every year, on June 14th, prices at HRC are reduced to when it first started in 1971. Burgers for 55p, float for 20p etc etc. Plus you get free ice cream from us! Giler kan?
But the best part is that if we were lucky, we get to meet celebrities. Muahahahaa...
Last year, W & G met and mingled with the likes of Ozzy Osbourne and Sharon. I like Sharon, she's cool.
This time, I was so busy giving away freebies to people, I didn't realise Elton John was having a treat of our ice cream. He came back for his second tub and lingered outside talking to the people in the queue.
He was very nice and hang out with us. He was trying to be funny and wore balloon glasses made by the clown. A few minutes later he came to put them on me! We talked about a couple of things and he looked at the pictures on my phone. Nyeh nyeh nyeh...
What sucks was I didn't have my camera with me, so I have to make do with my phone. Unfortunately, I don't even have a cable to upload photos from my phone to laptop so you guys can't see the photos.
I heard there were a few more celebrities but we didn't see them. Chantelle from the Big Brother was there, but I don't fancy taking her photo. She's just another Paris Hilton.
Anyway, we had quite a nice time at HRC. We finished early and were treated to some good food from the manager. I don't know who we'll meet next year. That is if I'm still around.
Every year, on June 14th, prices at HRC are reduced to when it first started in 1971. Burgers for 55p, float for 20p etc etc. Plus you get free ice cream from us! Giler kan?
But the best part is that if we were lucky, we get to meet celebrities. Muahahahaa...
Last year, W & G met and mingled with the likes of Ozzy Osbourne and Sharon. I like Sharon, she's cool.
This time, I was so busy giving away freebies to people, I didn't realise Elton John was having a treat of our ice cream. He came back for his second tub and lingered outside talking to the people in the queue.
He was very nice and hang out with us. He was trying to be funny and wore balloon glasses made by the clown. A few minutes later he came to put them on me! We talked about a couple of things and he looked at the pictures on my phone. Nyeh nyeh nyeh...
What sucks was I didn't have my camera with me, so I have to make do with my phone. Unfortunately, I don't even have a cable to upload photos from my phone to laptop so you guys can't see the photos.
I heard there were a few more celebrities but we didn't see them. Chantelle from the Big Brother was there, but I don't fancy taking her photo. She's just another Paris Hilton.
Anyway, we had quite a nice time at HRC. We finished early and were treated to some good food from the manager. I don't know who we'll meet next year. That is if I'm still around.
Tuesday 13 June 2006
footie talk
You may not be interested but this is what I found. Do you know that:
1. there's a Malay guy from Singapore who is one of the referees in World Cup 2006. His name is Shamsul Maidin and he refereed Sweden & Trinidad&Tobago's match(T&T)?
2. T&T is the smallest country in WC with only 1.07 million and they managed to qualify? Where is Malaysia that has all the supposedly world class facilities?
3. I am rooting for Czech Rep., Japan & South Korea too, and when Japan lost, my dislike for Australia has increase by ten fold?
4. the Degen twins of the Swiss team are rather cute?
5. the Cambodian monks were ordered to remain passive and not to cheer when watching matches or else they will lose their monkhoods?
6. the celebrity referee has retired and football has lost the best referee ever? Pierluigi Collina, the baldy guy, is now the face of Opel.
1. there's a Malay guy from Singapore who is one of the referees in World Cup 2006. His name is Shamsul Maidin and he refereed Sweden & Trinidad&Tobago's match(T&T)?
2. T&T is the smallest country in WC with only 1.07 million and they managed to qualify? Where is Malaysia that has all the supposedly world class facilities?
3. I am rooting for Czech Rep., Japan & South Korea too, and when Japan lost, my dislike for Australia has increase by ten fold?
4. the Degen twins of the Swiss team are rather cute?
5. the Cambodian monks were ordered to remain passive and not to cheer when watching matches or else they will lose their monkhoods?
6. the celebrity referee has retired and football has lost the best referee ever? Pierluigi Collina, the baldy guy, is now the face of Opel.
Monday 12 June 2006
of the man who was my father
A few days ago, a man came to the flat looking for someone who used to live here. I do not know why but things like these always happened to me. People love coming to my place trying to locate… err anything.
It spooks me up, you know.
Things like these always triggered my memory to an incident that happened some times ago. You know when a stranger came knocking at your door, it is like a phone call in the middle of the night. You’d be on guard and constantly worrying.
At that time, mobile phones were huge and ugly. Only the rich kids and well-paid working adults could afford one. With my salary, I could only dream of owning an analog Motorola. Besaq gedabak. Berat plak tu, baling anjing pun boleh mati one.
I was at a stage where I did not like family gathering and I stayed away as far as I can. They knew where I lived and Aci came to see me a few times when she came down to KL. Raya time, I spent the first day at home, and the second morning I couldn’t wait to leave to be with CJ’s family. I distanced myself and I would only call home maybe twice a year.
Yes. I was that bad. I was thinking I had nothing to worry about. No more sick mother. My father had his new wife and my siblings have their own family. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family, but I just didn’t want to spend my time with them. It must be all that angst. It was my choice and I wanted to be left alone.
One night in 1999, PS, CJ and I were watching marathon of films at home. I remember feeling so bored and I think when I went to bed, I tido mati. Didn’t even stir a little. It was early morning when the knock came. Mind you, I didn’t hear any knocks, but PS came to our room and woke me up because there was two policemen outside looking for me.
Gulp! That really spooked me up. Maybe they were to arrest me since I fucked up my credit card in the States. (Everyone did it, so spare me the lecture)
I couldn’t find my voice when I faced them. I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded and hmmp-ed. My way of telling them I’m the one they were looking for. It must have been 5 am but everyone in the flat was fully awake by now.
It seemed that my family was trying to contact me urgently, and because I didn’t have a mobile, and I wasn’t in touch with my cousins, Aci decided to ring Sentul Police to help find me. My father passed away in his sleep.
I remember leaning on the wall and sliding down to the floor. I was thinking that finally I didn’t have to put up with him again. I didn’t cry, just that the news was finally sinking in.
CJ and PS made all the arrangements for me to fly home and sent me to the airport, for which PS got a ticket for illegal parking. Yes, I remember that too.
When I reached his wife’s kampong, I didn’t feel any sadness. I felt that my family was treated like strangers in their house. He was our father, but we were unable to arrange for his funeral. They have taken over everything and left us in limbo. We were not allowed to take him back to our house where he lived all his life. Na was furious, and insisted that at least father be buried near mom.
I recall sitting inside and looking at the people whom I didn’t know, and I resented my father for that. Why does he have to die in a stranger’s house?
Many questions popped out in my head. Was my father there for me when I needed him? Was he affectionate and loving? Was he a good dad? Did her ever hugged me?
For me, he was just… a father. He played no important roles in my life. I resented the way he treated my mother. I resented the way he carried his role as a father. I was mad at him for reasons I couldn’t even explain. For many years, I carried on thinking that he was responsible for many unhappiness. To me, he looked like he was not interested in his family, in us.
When mom was alive, I used her as a mediator to ask money or anything from him. I never asked him myself. When I called home, it was mom whom I talked to. When I went home, the longest time we talked was when we argued over which tv channel to watch. We never had any deep conversations like some father and daughter. I didn’t like talking to him, so I usually cut it short. We liked to belittle his many failed enterprises. When he got married again, Aci and I quarrelled with him and were not on the speaking term.
After all these years, I realised that he was just human. How would he know how to be a good father when there was no manuals for fathers? He just went head on following his instinct. He tried to do his best. Somewhere along the line, I wonder if he was hurt by my dismissal of him. By our treatments.
The year before he died, I noticed that he was aging and he wanted to be around the family, but we didn’t really grasp the point. Or maybe it was me who didn’t get it. I thought, wait a minute, he had his wife!
I know he was proud of me. Of his children, considering that everyone of us menjadi, according to orang kampung. Yet, I didn’t do anything to reconnect with him.
I am not mad at him anymore. That feeling is just in the past. Honestly, I thought I didn't have any love for him but after putting my anger aside and thinking as a mature adult, I do love him. For all the flaws that he had, he is still my father and sometimes I can see that there are things that I take after him.
These days, I am sad for I didn’t have the chance to treat him differently. Two years ago, I was still having problems understanding him. That was why I wrote the letter to the grave. I have changed and now I regret that I didn’t make an effort to get to know him., or talk to him, or just spend more time with him. If only he was still alive today, I would be a different daughter.
Father’s day is coming soon. I have always said that I am my mother’s daughter, but sometimes I wish that I was my father’s little girl. I have never ever cried for my father but tonight I did. For all the ups and downs in his life, he wasn’t so bad after all. If only he knew.
Al-Fatihah.
It spooks me up, you know.
Things like these always triggered my memory to an incident that happened some times ago. You know when a stranger came knocking at your door, it is like a phone call in the middle of the night. You’d be on guard and constantly worrying.
At that time, mobile phones were huge and ugly. Only the rich kids and well-paid working adults could afford one. With my salary, I could only dream of owning an analog Motorola. Besaq gedabak. Berat plak tu, baling anjing pun boleh mati one.
I was at a stage where I did not like family gathering and I stayed away as far as I can. They knew where I lived and Aci came to see me a few times when she came down to KL. Raya time, I spent the first day at home, and the second morning I couldn’t wait to leave to be with CJ’s family. I distanced myself and I would only call home maybe twice a year.
Yes. I was that bad. I was thinking I had nothing to worry about. No more sick mother. My father had his new wife and my siblings have their own family. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family, but I just didn’t want to spend my time with them. It must be all that angst. It was my choice and I wanted to be left alone.
One night in 1999, PS, CJ and I were watching marathon of films at home. I remember feeling so bored and I think when I went to bed, I tido mati. Didn’t even stir a little. It was early morning when the knock came. Mind you, I didn’t hear any knocks, but PS came to our room and woke me up because there was two policemen outside looking for me.
Gulp! That really spooked me up. Maybe they were to arrest me since I fucked up my credit card in the States. (Everyone did it, so spare me the lecture)
I couldn’t find my voice when I faced them. I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded and hmmp-ed. My way of telling them I’m the one they were looking for. It must have been 5 am but everyone in the flat was fully awake by now.
It seemed that my family was trying to contact me urgently, and because I didn’t have a mobile, and I wasn’t in touch with my cousins, Aci decided to ring Sentul Police to help find me. My father passed away in his sleep.
I remember leaning on the wall and sliding down to the floor. I was thinking that finally I didn’t have to put up with him again. I didn’t cry, just that the news was finally sinking in.
CJ and PS made all the arrangements for me to fly home and sent me to the airport, for which PS got a ticket for illegal parking. Yes, I remember that too.
When I reached his wife’s kampong, I didn’t feel any sadness. I felt that my family was treated like strangers in their house. He was our father, but we were unable to arrange for his funeral. They have taken over everything and left us in limbo. We were not allowed to take him back to our house where he lived all his life. Na was furious, and insisted that at least father be buried near mom.
I recall sitting inside and looking at the people whom I didn’t know, and I resented my father for that. Why does he have to die in a stranger’s house?
Many questions popped out in my head. Was my father there for me when I needed him? Was he affectionate and loving? Was he a good dad? Did her ever hugged me?
For me, he was just… a father. He played no important roles in my life. I resented the way he treated my mother. I resented the way he carried his role as a father. I was mad at him for reasons I couldn’t even explain. For many years, I carried on thinking that he was responsible for many unhappiness. To me, he looked like he was not interested in his family, in us.
When mom was alive, I used her as a mediator to ask money or anything from him. I never asked him myself. When I called home, it was mom whom I talked to. When I went home, the longest time we talked was when we argued over which tv channel to watch. We never had any deep conversations like some father and daughter. I didn’t like talking to him, so I usually cut it short. We liked to belittle his many failed enterprises. When he got married again, Aci and I quarrelled with him and were not on the speaking term.
After all these years, I realised that he was just human. How would he know how to be a good father when there was no manuals for fathers? He just went head on following his instinct. He tried to do his best. Somewhere along the line, I wonder if he was hurt by my dismissal of him. By our treatments.
The year before he died, I noticed that he was aging and he wanted to be around the family, but we didn’t really grasp the point. Or maybe it was me who didn’t get it. I thought, wait a minute, he had his wife!
I know he was proud of me. Of his children, considering that everyone of us menjadi, according to orang kampung. Yet, I didn’t do anything to reconnect with him.
I am not mad at him anymore. That feeling is just in the past. Honestly, I thought I didn't have any love for him but after putting my anger aside and thinking as a mature adult, I do love him. For all the flaws that he had, he is still my father and sometimes I can see that there are things that I take after him.
These days, I am sad for I didn’t have the chance to treat him differently. Two years ago, I was still having problems understanding him. That was why I wrote the letter to the grave. I have changed and now I regret that I didn’t make an effort to get to know him., or talk to him, or just spend more time with him. If only he was still alive today, I would be a different daughter.
Father’s day is coming soon. I have always said that I am my mother’s daughter, but sometimes I wish that I was my father’s little girl. I have never ever cried for my father but tonight I did. For all the ups and downs in his life, he wasn’t so bad after all. If only he knew.
Al-Fatihah.
Saturday 10 June 2006
I got it back!
To CarlBryant at http://carlstinybrain.blogspot.com , thank you for your help. The blog is now back to normal. Fuuuuhh!
Friday 9 June 2006
WTF!!!!!
what the hell happened to my blog????? Everything got deleted after maintenance. To think that I have spent time customising all the little details. They're all gone! Dang!!!!!
minat (or minah) bola
So, World Cup is now upon us. Everywhere I go, I will see that famous St. George’s flag. In cars, on the doors, on the roof (I kid you not), on the windows, and basically anywhere I turn my head lah. I have one next to my mirror, plus I have my gnome!
It’s good that I’m cheering for Becks and gang. But since I’m a freak, I will try to watch other interesting matches. I could be the worst football commentator alive, for I know nought about it. I just love watching men sepaking the bola around. Ain't it beautiful? Ahakss.
But aiyo this Saturday I work maaaaah… how lor? Boss, can give time off ah?
My favourites would be, of course England, Brasil (cos ada mamat jongang cute tu), and Netherlands. I love the spirit of the Oranje!
Today we see a couple of Group A clashes with the hosts Germany taking on Costa Rica, and Poland squaring off against Ecuador. Here’s my predictions of the outcome of these two games.
Germany 2 Costa Rica 0 Ger 4 CR 2 (betul la tu 2 gol diff :)
Poland 2 Ecuador 1 Pol 0 Ecu 2 (aik! pedah jadi?)
Group B predictions:
England 2 Paraguay 1 Eng 1 Par 0
Sweden 2 Trinidad & Tobago 0 Swe 0 T&T 0
It’s good that I’m cheering for Becks and gang. But since I’m a freak, I will try to watch other interesting matches. I could be the worst football commentator alive, for I know nought about it. I just love watching men sepaking the bola around. Ain't it beautiful? Ahakss.
But aiyo this Saturday I work maaaaah… how lor? Boss, can give time off ah?
My favourites would be, of course England, Brasil (cos ada mamat jongang cute tu), and Netherlands. I love the spirit of the Oranje!
Today we see a couple of Group A clashes with the hosts Germany taking on Costa Rica, and Poland squaring off against Ecuador. Here’s my predictions of the outcome of these two games.
Germany 2 Costa Rica 0 Ger 4 CR 2 (betul la tu 2 gol diff :)
Poland 2 Ecuador 1 Pol 0 Ecu 2 (aik! pedah jadi?)
Group B predictions:
England 2 Paraguay 1 Eng 1 Par 0
Sweden 2 Trinidad & Tobago 0 Swe 0 T&T 0
Thursday 8 June 2006
of being an extra
Last year, out of the blue Kfiatek and I went to an audition at King's Cross. At the end of the audition, Kfiatek backed off but I decided to register with the casting agency.
They promised that all new faces that were featured in their candidate catalogues would at least get one assignment in a year. Imagine my anticipation.
But nothing happened. Cheh! Spoil sungguh.
I didn't bother anymore, but lately, I have been getting lotsa emails about me being shortlisted for potential extra. For HSBC ads, insurance ads, oh and also George Michael new music video!
Hahahahaaa... As if I would be selected. Must be their tactics to get me to pay and register again.
Berhenti berharap la. Hehehehe
They promised that all new faces that were featured in their candidate catalogues would at least get one assignment in a year. Imagine my anticipation.
But nothing happened. Cheh! Spoil sungguh.
I didn't bother anymore, but lately, I have been getting lotsa emails about me being shortlisted for potential extra. For HSBC ads, insurance ads, oh and also George Michael new music video!
Hahahahaaa... As if I would be selected. Must be their tactics to get me to pay and register again.
Berhenti berharap la. Hehehehe
Sorry...
If you accidently read my previous entry, please pardon my French. And the heat got to my head.
I seriously thought about slashing the tires, and smashing the windows, but takuttt... kena tangkap kang naya je. Terus kena deport balik. Heh
I seriously thought about slashing the tires, and smashing the windows, but takuttt... kena tangkap kang naya je. Terus kena deport balik. Heh
Tuesday 6 June 2006
bila madu menjadi bitter
I'm in the mood to write and relate stuff with peribahasa.
Some peribahasa can be used in a broad manner and nowadays, anything goes what!
A good friend of mine told me that I have been too soft hearted and too nice to people. It's time, she said, to be selfish and think more about myself.
Quote. Tapi satu je hang kena ingat, buat baik berpada-pada. You have done quite a lot for X. But X has not proven his/her worth to you yet (except making you laugh la...). Of course kalau kita tolong orang tu, kita kena ikhlas, tapi kena ingat jugak, bila hari kita sampai nanti, adakah dia akan buat the same thing for us. It's ok to be a bit more selfish. Unquote.
My friend forced me to see it from her point of view, and The Mentor has been saying the same thing to me over and over again. I agree with them. Totally. Dah ramai orang dok pijak kepala ni. Yet, I cannot turn away when people ask me, can I? It would be rude.
I am a very emotional lass, and I came fully loaded with goodness ie macam cream and butter (ni masuk bakul naik lif) I may act tough, acuh tak acuh and independent, but I still remember my manner. My mother's school of thought.
Last night, as I was dozzing off I had some flashings in my head. My brain was telling me that I have been discarded from someone's life. After getting all one wanted from me, I'm no longer of any use to that person. You know, like the saying, habis madu sepah dibuang.
Fine. I wish the person a good life.
Some peribahasa can be used in a broad manner and nowadays, anything goes what!
A good friend of mine told me that I have been too soft hearted and too nice to people. It's time, she said, to be selfish and think more about myself.
Quote. Tapi satu je hang kena ingat, buat baik berpada-pada. You have done quite a lot for X. But X has not proven his/her worth to you yet (except making you laugh la...). Of course kalau kita tolong orang tu, kita kena ikhlas, tapi kena ingat jugak, bila hari kita sampai nanti, adakah dia akan buat the same thing for us. It's ok to be a bit more selfish. Unquote.
My friend forced me to see it from her point of view, and The Mentor has been saying the same thing to me over and over again. I agree with them. Totally. Dah ramai orang dok pijak kepala ni. Yet, I cannot turn away when people ask me, can I? It would be rude.
I am a very emotional lass, and I came fully loaded with goodness ie macam cream and butter (ni masuk bakul naik lif) I may act tough, acuh tak acuh and independent, but I still remember my manner. My mother's school of thought.
Last night, as I was dozzing off I had some flashings in my head. My brain was telling me that I have been discarded from someone's life. After getting all one wanted from me, I'm no longer of any use to that person. You know, like the saying, habis madu sepah dibuang.
Fine. I wish the person a good life.
Thursday 1 June 2006
of cinta and sin
aku berhenti berharap
dan menunggu datang gelap
sampai nanti suatu saat
tak ada cinta ku dapat
-SO7-
Lately I haven't been reading any news at all because busy jadi Tom Tom but last night I managed to catch up on dz's blog. Tup tup ada cerita Misyar. Apa kebendenya tu? I thought ramai orang nak kawin with Misha Omar. Huh? Makcik blur...
Whatever lah. Malaysians have weird sense of humor, eh? Dunia dah tunggang terbalik pun Malaysian politicians and artists still dok citer pasal kawin. There must be something wrong somewhere when man made law is being hailed greater than God's. Terlampau pandai sangat dah.
Sedar tak sedar we all live in sin, but semua tak mengaku. Bodohlah sapa yang mengaku tu, kan? Heh. Most of us try to be as sinless as possible, but some just like to close one eye.
Ni kawin misyar ni nak consider them doing a favor to womenfolks ke? Baik tak payah lah bang oi. I believe many single and successful women are not too bothered anymore with a husband. Such nuisance unless kalau dah betul betul cinta. But where got one? Ada la dua tiga kerat yang really found love, the rest... hummmp. If the man says kawin misyar ni doing the woman a favor, he can jolly well sod-off.
I prefer having a boyfriend to a husband. If it's easy to leave then I think you work harder, but at least you won't be tied down and feel trapped. As soon as you have a ring on your finger, you start taking the other person for granted, and the love goes out the bloody window, and I don't like that. I'm quite a romantic lass and I do like love and all the business that goes with it. But marriage? Errr... prove yourself worthy first for me to pass through hell on the way to heaven.
Blimey! My sister would choke if she reads this. But as long as it makes sense to me, who are you to say anything, right? =)
We live in sin, folks!
dan menunggu datang gelap
sampai nanti suatu saat
tak ada cinta ku dapat
-SO7-
Lately I haven't been reading any news at all because busy jadi Tom Tom but last night I managed to catch up on dz's blog. Tup tup ada cerita Misyar. Apa kebendenya tu? I thought ramai orang nak kawin with Misha Omar. Huh? Makcik blur...
Whatever lah. Malaysians have weird sense of humor, eh? Dunia dah tunggang terbalik pun Malaysian politicians and artists still dok citer pasal kawin. There must be something wrong somewhere when man made law is being hailed greater than God's. Terlampau pandai sangat dah.
Sedar tak sedar we all live in sin, but semua tak mengaku. Bodohlah sapa yang mengaku tu, kan? Heh. Most of us try to be as sinless as possible, but some just like to close one eye.
Ni kawin misyar ni nak consider them doing a favor to womenfolks ke? Baik tak payah lah bang oi. I believe many single and successful women are not too bothered anymore with a husband. Such nuisance unless kalau dah betul betul cinta. But where got one? Ada la dua tiga kerat yang really found love, the rest... hummmp. If the man says kawin misyar ni doing the woman a favor, he can jolly well sod-off.
I prefer having a boyfriend to a husband. If it's easy to leave then I think you work harder, but at least you won't be tied down and feel trapped. As soon as you have a ring on your finger, you start taking the other person for granted, and the love goes out the bloody window, and I don't like that. I'm quite a romantic lass and I do like love and all the business that goes with it. But marriage? Errr... prove yourself worthy first for me to pass through hell on the way to heaven.
Blimey! My sister would choke if she reads this. But as long as it makes sense to me, who are you to say anything, right? =)
We live in sin, folks!
Thursday 25 May 2006
of changes and glamour
Funny eh? I got so many things I want to write about and when I'm in front of the computer, they all puff into the air. There's something in the water :)
I've never received so many text messages in my life before like I did a few days ago. Perasan glemer sekejap. Ahakkksss.
Anyway, back to real life. I'm going to whine about the lack of my social life. Honestly, it has gone from bad to worse. Work is taking up most of my time, working till late hours. It may sound good or exciting on papers, but the down side of it is that I hardly had time to even go out for a coffee with a friend anymore.
When was the last time I went out for a walk? 6 weeks ago maybe.
I was away last friday and only got home on monday, and I'm going away again this friday only to come home next tuesday. If I managed to stay alive, that is.
Ok, now I remember what I want to write.
What I want to say is that people change.
Heh... tetiba je masuk bab ni. Someone made a comment to me which I feel memang kena kat batang hidung I. But the thing is that komen kena to the former me, before I started to go through another transformation.
I have gone through phases, which I believe everyone does too. When I was young, I was a bully, loud and naughty. I did some of the unthinkable, but I was brave and foolish at the same time.
Then I became the nice person, who wouldn't even break a rule. Always jovial and helpful, but I didn't know much about everything else. I thought the world belongs to me.
At some point, I changed to become someone who rebel and hate other people's company. I wanted to do things on my own, wanted to be different, didn't care if I'm accepted or not, and I was a loner. I had that 'who cares' attitude.
In recent time, I broke a few laws, became restless, heartbroken, lost my confidence, had low self-esteem, didn't think much of the consequences, didn't like talking to people and was still a loner.
However, things are changing, yet again. I think I have become a deep thinker and listen a lot. Still brave but dah ada perasaan takut tu. My heart still stay the same, but my common sense is telling me that some things need to be done differently. I may break a few more laws, do foolish stunts, but I am thinking about the right things to do for the future.
Believe it or not, without me realising it, I'm opening up to people now. Slowly. Through blog and other venues. I'm trying to rid my shyness. heh
The point is some things that I said years ago may not valid today. One cannot hold that against me. I may have a good reason for saying it at that time but it could have been irrelevant at this point. I cannot help myself but to go along with the changes if I think it's best for me.
Deep down, I am still me. I still have the same characters I had when I was young. The only thing that is changing are the way I think and the way I do things.
And there're some good people left in the world. I'm one of them. Hehehe...
I've never received so many text messages in my life before like I did a few days ago. Perasan glemer sekejap. Ahakkksss.
Anyway, back to real life. I'm going to whine about the lack of my social life. Honestly, it has gone from bad to worse. Work is taking up most of my time, working till late hours. It may sound good or exciting on papers, but the down side of it is that I hardly had time to even go out for a coffee with a friend anymore.
When was the last time I went out for a walk? 6 weeks ago maybe.
I was away last friday and only got home on monday, and I'm going away again this friday only to come home next tuesday. If I managed to stay alive, that is.
Ok, now I remember what I want to write.
What I want to say is that people change.
Heh... tetiba je masuk bab ni. Someone made a comment to me which I feel memang kena kat batang hidung I. But the thing is that komen kena to the former me, before I started to go through another transformation.
I have gone through phases, which I believe everyone does too. When I was young, I was a bully, loud and naughty. I did some of the unthinkable, but I was brave and foolish at the same time.
Then I became the nice person, who wouldn't even break a rule. Always jovial and helpful, but I didn't know much about everything else. I thought the world belongs to me.
At some point, I changed to become someone who rebel and hate other people's company. I wanted to do things on my own, wanted to be different, didn't care if I'm accepted or not, and I was a loner. I had that 'who cares' attitude.
In recent time, I broke a few laws, became restless, heartbroken, lost my confidence, had low self-esteem, didn't think much of the consequences, didn't like talking to people and was still a loner.
However, things are changing, yet again. I think I have become a deep thinker and listen a lot. Still brave but dah ada perasaan takut tu. My heart still stay the same, but my common sense is telling me that some things need to be done differently. I may break a few more laws, do foolish stunts, but I am thinking about the right things to do for the future.
Believe it or not, without me realising it, I'm opening up to people now. Slowly. Through blog and other venues. I'm trying to rid my shyness. heh
The point is some things that I said years ago may not valid today. One cannot hold that against me. I may have a good reason for saying it at that time but it could have been irrelevant at this point. I cannot help myself but to go along with the changes if I think it's best for me.
Deep down, I am still me. I still have the same characters I had when I was young. The only thing that is changing are the way I think and the way I do things.
And there're some good people left in the world. I'm one of them. Hehehe...
Wednesday 17 May 2006
a friend with benefit
Today I received a new friend from a friend.
Meet my garden gnome, George. Unfortunate for him, I haven't got a garden but a semak samun kat belakang rumah, so for the rest of his life, he's going to be locked up inside. When the World Cup starts, we are going to camp in front of the telly and sing World at Your Feet.
Honestly, I am quite light hearted today.
Everything seems to form right in front of my eyes. Or maybe I am looking at the path I'm supposed to take? Could be.
Or maybe I have to create new challenges for myself? Could be.
Or maybe I finally see what I haven't seen before? Could be.
Great. Now I have to get down to business and plan.
Sometimes I confused myself. I think I have too many plans that I do not know which one is the best to follow.
Yesterday, I thought to myself, 'what you read is not what you see/get'. Not a 100%. There are things that should be kept hidden, but sometimes truth need to be told.
Dear God, please tunjukkan hamba mu yang hina ini jalan yang baik untuk diikuti. Jalan yang diredhai oleh Mu. Yang membahagiakan and boleh menenangkan hati, kalau yang memberikan kemewahan pun boleh jugak. Amin.
PS, mana ko ni? ingat tak 4 years ago, aku kat sini tengah busy jual aiskrim and you were there and you updated me with scores between England and Argentina? This year I'd wake you up and kita sesama tengok, from 2 continents jurang jauh cemana pun tak leh memisahkan kita. cewah.. heheheh
Meet my garden gnome, George. Unfortunate for him, I haven't got a garden but a semak samun kat belakang rumah, so for the rest of his life, he's going to be locked up inside. When the World Cup starts, we are going to camp in front of the telly and sing World at Your Feet.Honestly, I am quite light hearted today.
Everything seems to form right in front of my eyes. Or maybe I am looking at the path I'm supposed to take? Could be.
Or maybe I have to create new challenges for myself? Could be.
Or maybe I finally see what I haven't seen before? Could be.
Great. Now I have to get down to business and plan.
Sometimes I confused myself. I think I have too many plans that I do not know which one is the best to follow.
Yesterday, I thought to myself, 'what you read is not what you see/get'. Not a 100%. There are things that should be kept hidden, but sometimes truth need to be told.
Dear God, please tunjukkan hamba mu yang hina ini jalan yang baik untuk diikuti. Jalan yang diredhai oleh Mu. Yang membahagiakan and boleh menenangkan hati, kalau yang memberikan kemewahan pun boleh jugak. Amin.
PS, mana ko ni? ingat tak 4 years ago, aku kat sini tengah busy jual aiskrim and you were there and you updated me with scores between England and Argentina? This year I'd wake you up and kita sesama tengok, from 2 continents jurang jauh cemana pun tak leh memisahkan kita. cewah.. heheheh
Wednesday 10 May 2006
Hola! Espana
Hola!
What a very tiring but satisfying day so far in Barca.
The flight from Gatwick was a little too much because there were too many loud English girls onboard. From the moment we took off until we touched down, I didn´t have any quiet time to nap. They even clapped and cheered when the plane landed on the runway. Hmmm...
The view from up above was phenomenal with the Spanish mountains and sea caling out to me.
From the aeroport I figured out it might be faster to take the train, but unfortunately I had to make too many changes that I wasted one hour trying to figure it out.
Once I came out from Plaza Catalunya into the streets, I was taken aback by Barcelona´s beauty. Her wonderful architectures and cultural aspects are unbelievable. Wonderful.
I stopped a policeman for direction to La Rambla while I was looking for the hostel and trust me, La Rambla is the place you want to be.
I amazed myself with my Spanish. No habla mucho espanyal, but I get by with a few words. Ahaks. I guess everyone does too.
Fortunate for me that my hostel is right in the middle of La Rambla itself. I left my bag and went down hunting for whatever. The cafes are just as luring as her architectures. Sipping the second sangria in my life ever, I sat quietly watching passers by, and for awhile there my worries seem to vanish.
What a very tiring but satisfying day so far in Barca.
The flight from Gatwick was a little too much because there were too many loud English girls onboard. From the moment we took off until we touched down, I didn´t have any quiet time to nap. They even clapped and cheered when the plane landed on the runway. Hmmm...
The view from up above was phenomenal with the Spanish mountains and sea caling out to me.
From the aeroport I figured out it might be faster to take the train, but unfortunately I had to make too many changes that I wasted one hour trying to figure it out.
Once I came out from Plaza Catalunya into the streets, I was taken aback by Barcelona´s beauty. Her wonderful architectures and cultural aspects are unbelievable. Wonderful.
I stopped a policeman for direction to La Rambla while I was looking for the hostel and trust me, La Rambla is the place you want to be.
I amazed myself with my Spanish. No habla mucho espanyal, but I get by with a few words. Ahaks. I guess everyone does too.
Fortunate for me that my hostel is right in the middle of La Rambla itself. I left my bag and went down hunting for whatever. The cafes are just as luring as her architectures. Sipping the second sangria in my life ever, I sat quietly watching passers by, and for awhile there my worries seem to vanish.
Tuesday 9 May 2006
gulp!
Cancer - June 21 - July 22
Hard work usually pays off, but not in your case. Luckily for the rest of us you carry on regardless because you're a sucker and fearful of confrontation. These character flaws actually make you a winner in the survival of the thickest, and you'll live long and prosper - as long as you remember to do the washing up, buy bog roll, etc. Remember, the urge to protect and nurture loved ones is valid even if they don't notice, so keep up the good (house) work.
May I live long and prosper. Amin.
Hard work usually pays off, but not in your case. Luckily for the rest of us you carry on regardless because you're a sucker and fearful of confrontation. These character flaws actually make you a winner in the survival of the thickest, and you'll live long and prosper - as long as you remember to do the washing up, buy bog roll, etc. Remember, the urge to protect and nurture loved ones is valid even if they don't notice, so keep up the good (house) work.
May I live long and prosper. Amin.
Monday 8 May 2006
The Office and Tom Tom
I had to write this before I become more cranky. At this moment I letih semacam je.
I had a frustrating morning that lead me to think I don't want to do this anymore. I am serious. I know I have been thinking about it since last year and I may leave at the end of this year, but today is the final straw. I finally felt that this is it.
I am so tired of the fiascos I had to face at the office. With the customers, the suppliers, the drivers, the people in the freezer, the people at Eng*lish Heri*tage and with driving around the country.
I have seen enough, I think. I have been to almost every nook and cranny of England that I might vomit maps now. I might as well be Tom Tom the satellite navigator too. For once, I want to take the bus or even ride my bike to work.
Today is The Mentor's first day at work after 2 weeks of holiday in Karachi. I told her what I felt and I knew she would understand because sometimes she feels the same. All she gets are phone calls about problem after problem, but without that much support from others.
What I need to do now is to find someone to train and take with me for events, and in one or two months let him takes over. It could be sooner. Who knows?
She said she's going to miss me. Mmmm... I know she will, and I will miss her too.
It's good that I'm off to Barca even though it is just for 2 nights. When I come back, I need to take more risks with my life and maybe pursue things that I dream of doing.
I had a frustrating morning that lead me to think I don't want to do this anymore. I am serious. I know I have been thinking about it since last year and I may leave at the end of this year, but today is the final straw. I finally felt that this is it.
I am so tired of the fiascos I had to face at the office. With the customers, the suppliers, the drivers, the people in the freezer, the people at Eng*lish Heri*tage and with driving around the country.
I have seen enough, I think. I have been to almost every nook and cranny of England that I might vomit maps now. I might as well be Tom Tom the satellite navigator too. For once, I want to take the bus or even ride my bike to work.
Today is The Mentor's first day at work after 2 weeks of holiday in Karachi. I told her what I felt and I knew she would understand because sometimes she feels the same. All she gets are phone calls about problem after problem, but without that much support from others.
What I need to do now is to find someone to train and take with me for events, and in one or two months let him takes over. It could be sooner. Who knows?
She said she's going to miss me. Mmmm... I know she will, and I will miss her too.
It's good that I'm off to Barca even though it is just for 2 nights. When I come back, I need to take more risks with my life and maybe pursue things that I dream of doing.
of compassion and alter ego
I have been in a limbo, and as I get older I worry too much.
Many moons ago I planted an idea into someone's head, thinking that it was a good idea for that person to explore and begin an adventure. I did this all the time. I mean giving people these kind of ideas i.e. going to work in Dubai, on a cruise ship, going backpacking in Europe etc etc.
I like my comfort zone but at the same time I do like exploring and trying out things. If it didn't work out, well hey, at least I gave it a go. Btw, I'm going to Barcelona on Tuesday. Woohoo!
Right. Some people don't take me seriously, some sneered at me, a few dared taking up the chances but the rest just didn't give a damn. Hehe. But I do things my way. I believe most people are like that, or they think that they want to do things their way, but circumstances don't allow them so they do it the way they think society approves. Oh man! I don't make sense, do I?
Anyway, when you planted an idea into someone's head, and helped nurtured it, indirectly, it's like bringing something new to your world. There will be a point when you feel responsible for it. It doesn't matter if that someone is capable of handling oneself, because the point is that you were there to assist in almost every way possible.
I guess when unexpected bittersweet things happened, wiping up your existense and leaving your heart with a little hole, it's natural that you'd feel like you're in a turmoil. It's not even your life, but the question is why should you care?
Because as human being, I believe we have to have compassion. Be a little humane. Not to the point of being paranoia, but enough to show that you care and to know that your heart is still beating. There are too many nastiness and cruelty and I don't want the people around me to be added to the statistics.
I need to believe that there are still some people who will go out of their way to be good samaritans. I'm not a saint and we can't help the whole world, but I know we can help the person next to us.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately for the next few days I won't be around. Barcelona is waiting for my arrival. But if you need me, just touch your nose because my alter ego Superwok will jump to the rescue (in her seat).
Many moons ago I planted an idea into someone's head, thinking that it was a good idea for that person to explore and begin an adventure. I did this all the time. I mean giving people these kind of ideas i.e. going to work in Dubai, on a cruise ship, going backpacking in Europe etc etc.
I like my comfort zone but at the same time I do like exploring and trying out things. If it didn't work out, well hey, at least I gave it a go. Btw, I'm going to Barcelona on Tuesday. Woohoo!
Right. Some people don't take me seriously, some sneered at me, a few dared taking up the chances but the rest just didn't give a damn. Hehe. But I do things my way. I believe most people are like that, or they think that they want to do things their way, but circumstances don't allow them so they do it the way they think society approves. Oh man! I don't make sense, do I?
Anyway, when you planted an idea into someone's head, and helped nurtured it, indirectly, it's like bringing something new to your world. There will be a point when you feel responsible for it. It doesn't matter if that someone is capable of handling oneself, because the point is that you were there to assist in almost every way possible.
I guess when unexpected bittersweet things happened, wiping up your existense and leaving your heart with a little hole, it's natural that you'd feel like you're in a turmoil. It's not even your life, but the question is why should you care?
Because as human being, I believe we have to have compassion. Be a little humane. Not to the point of being paranoia, but enough to show that you care and to know that your heart is still beating. There are too many nastiness and cruelty and I don't want the people around me to be added to the statistics.
I need to believe that there are still some people who will go out of their way to be good samaritans. I'm not a saint and we can't help the whole world, but I know we can help the person next to us.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately for the next few days I won't be around. Barcelona is waiting for my arrival. But if you need me, just touch your nose because my alter ego Superwok will jump to the rescue (in her seat).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)