of changes and glamour

Funny eh? I got so many things I want to write about and when I'm in front of the computer, they all puff into the air. There's something in the water :)

I've never received so many text messages in my life before like I did a few days ago. Perasan glemer sekejap. Ahakkksss.

Anyway, back to real life. I'm going to whine about the lack of my social life. Honestly, it has gone from bad to worse. Work is taking up most of my time, working till late hours. It may sound good or exciting on papers, but the down side of it is that I hardly had time to even go out for a coffee with a friend anymore.

When was the last time I went out for a walk? 6 weeks ago maybe.

I was away last friday and only got home on monday, and I'm going away again this friday only to come home next tuesday. If I managed to stay alive, that is.

Ok, now I remember what I want to write.

What I want to say is that people change.

Heh... tetiba je masuk bab ni. Someone made a comment to me which I feel memang kena kat batang hidung I. But the thing is that komen kena to the former me, before I started to go through another transformation.

I have gone through phases, which I believe everyone does too. When I was young, I was a bully, loud and naughty. I did some of the unthinkable, but I was brave and foolish at the same time.

Then I became the nice person, who wouldn't even break a rule. Always jovial and helpful, but I didn't know much about everything else. I thought the world belongs to me.

At some point, I changed to become someone who rebel and hate other people's company. I wanted to do things on my own, wanted to be different, didn't care if I'm accepted or not, and I was a loner. I had that 'who cares' attitude.

In recent time, I broke a few laws, became restless, heartbroken, lost my confidence, had low self-esteem, didn't think much of the consequences, didn't like talking to people and was still a loner.

However, things are changing, yet again. I think I have become a deep thinker and listen a lot. Still brave but dah ada perasaan takut tu. My heart still stay the same, but my common sense is telling me that some things need to be done differently. I may break a few more laws, do foolish stunts, but I am thinking about the right things to do for the future.

Believe it or not, without me realising it, I'm opening up to people now. Slowly. Through blog and other venues. I'm trying to rid my shyness. heh

The point is some things that I said years ago may not valid today. One cannot hold that against me. I may have a good reason for saying it at that time but it could have been irrelevant at this point. I cannot help myself but to go along with the changes if I think it's best for me.

Deep down, I am still me. I still have the same characters I had when I was young. The only thing that is changing are the way I think and the way I do things.

And there're some good people left in the world. I'm one of them. Hehehe...