defeated

The day I stop crying is the day that I don't have any emotions left. I am broken. I am alone.

All I want now was my mother. I want to cry in her arms, and for her to tell me things will be alright. God, please help me. I can't go on. How can you be cruel sending me away? I am in pain, mum.

don't let go of me

It's too late. That's what you said. There's no more chances for me. And I have to watch you go away while I'm fighting for my life.

lost

I have my days off during the week. Usually I would spend the whole day with you. These days I felt that you are so distant. You said that you would come to me but you didn't.

I felt like I'm losing you day by day. When I need you the most you're not there anymore. You're supposed to be my rock and my mentor. You're the person I looked up to. You're my inspiration, my best friend and my everything.

Without you I'm lost.

of pain

Sayang

I don't know why you subjected me to this pain. You haven't replied to my messages. You didn't answer my calls and you didn't reply to my emails. You have been ignoring me for the last few weeks.

I don't understand.

You said you love me. You said you can't live without me. You said you're forever mine. Then you told me it's over.

I am hurting now baby.

no words can describe what I feel

How can my heart breaks over and over? Why do this pain hurts so much?

So she's been kissed. By someone who knows that she already has me. Why? Do you feel trapped being with me? Do you want out? Do you not want to honour your love? Do you not want to be with me? Didn't you claim that I was your soulmate? Didn't you listen to all those things I confided in you? Didn't you say you can't live without me?

What am I now, baby?

of being terrified

Something has changed and I don't know what it was. I can feel it in my bones. She wanted to make new friends so I encouraged her. She needed it, and I wasn't going to deny her that. But I have these nagging feelings that I was gonna lose her.

God! I am scared. I am terrified.

waiting

It's been quite a while since I last wrote something here. And a lot of things have happened between then and now but the one thing for sure is that I am still together with the woman I love.

It is incredible to be able to say that you love someone that your heart actually hurt so much because you can't contain the feelings you have for her. She is the essence of my being and without her I'm crippled.

I feel a temporarily lost at the moment because she's on holiday for two weeks. It has been 8 days since I last heard from her. I can't wait for her to come back.

where's my girl?

It's lonely without you here. All the words I want to say are left unsaid and all the feelings I want to show are put on hold until you are back in my arms.

Happy Valentine's Day Sayang.