Friday 30 March 2007

Yahoooooooooooooooo!!!

aaaa.. ahaaaa
Dancing in the dark middle of the night
Taking your heart and holding it tight
Emotional touch touching my skin
And asking you to do
what you've been doing all over again

Ohh...
it's a beautiful thing
don't think I can keep it all in
I just gotta let you know
what it is that won't let me go

It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
Ohhh... it's your love

Better than I was, more than I am
And all of this happened by taking your hand
And who I am now is who I wanted to be
And now that we're together,
I'm stronger than ever I'm happy and free

Ohhh... it's a beautiful thing,
Don't think I can keep it all in
If you asked me why I've changed,
All I gotta do is say your sweet name

It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
Ohhh.. it's your love

Ohhh... it's a beautiful thing,
Don't think I can keep it all in
I just gotta let you know what it is
that won't let me go

It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't let go
And if you wonder
About the spell I'm under,
Ohhh... it's your love
It's your love, it's your love, it's your love


Before you ask, no, no and no. I am not in love. But I am glad and feel like screaming for all the things that happened to me recently. I feel like telling the whole world about what I have found in myself, but I can't.

It's enough to say that I finally accept me for who I am. I am no longer searching for the lost soul. For years I was confused and depressed. I was scared and ashamed to dig deeper but in the last few weeks I have found the missing puzzle. I pieced them together and suddenly it became very clear. Crystal! It was there all along but I never saw it.

And my God, look at what it does to me! I am so happy and free that I couldn't stop this bubbling crazy feeling inside me. I feel like suddenly I have wings and could fly to wherever. Well, you could say that I'm in love with myself.

Hahahaha... 2007 will be good, I hope.

Sunday 4 March 2007

Bad Case of Resentment

Mmm... I'm going through a weird motion and I'm a little stress. It's just something that I can't talk about or express openly. Maybe one day I can.

A friend of mine Marc got a new job, and while I am happy for him, I do feel slightly jealous of him. But not enough for him to notice it. I may envy him a little, but he deserves it because he works hard to be where he is today. He actually put me to shame, therefore now I'm trying all out to send my CV and find a local job.

However, there is another girl Agy, who upon finding out that he got a new and better job, shows obvious resentment. The look on her face just suddenly changed and according to Marc her stare could kill someone. I know the kind of cold treatment she was giving Marc, and I feel for Marc because it wasn't even his fault.

Marc is a very friendly and cheerful person. He does have a lot of friends and always out and about. Whenever I spoke to him, he's always out drinking with someone or at a party. He loves drinking but he couldn't hold his drinks that well. After a few glasses of wine, he's done. At one party, he couldn't even remember that he claimed he was Jesus coming to town to save the people. It was rather funny, and we joke about that a lot.

Agy on the other hand is kinda annoying. She keeps tab on her housemates, prying into their life and checking up on them like she's their mother or something. She normally stays at home after work and hardly goes out with friends. When The Candle Girl comes home late, Agy would be asking her where she go and stuff. And when they didn't tell her their plans, she would be furious and annoyed with them.

I told Marc that she has a bad case of resentment towards them. I'm no psychologist but I think she feels left out, and she desperately wanted to be included in their outing plans. I do however think that if you're genuine and honest, you should be happy for your friends.

In this case, I think it was some kind of race of who can get a new job first between the two of them. Maybe Marc didn't feel that way, but I know Agy does. When I met Marc last nite, we finally analyse and noticed the little hints here and there in everything she does. It comes to a point that both Marc and The CG didn't want to tell her of their plan to go to Valencia in case she wanted to tag along. She told them that they have to let her know next time they want to meet me because she she wants to join, but guess what? They didn't tell her about meeting me last night.

Ah well. Good food, good company. I had a great time.