Masik = masak nasik
Lojong Taib = Lorong Haji Taib
Terah = terang & cerah
Hasam = hari semalam
Thursday, 29 December 2005
Friday, 23 December 2005
flood in the house
Everyone must have known about the flood in the north and east coast. Last night I spoke to Aci. She lives near Jitra, one of the worst affected areas but her new house was spared from the disaster. Unfortunately, our family house in AS is among the many thousand houses affected.
No one lives in that house nor we have lotsa stuffs in it. Since Aci and family moved out almost a year ago, nobody wants to occupy it. The bros now have their own place and I, well, I don't come back too often anyway. Even when Aci was there, that place was in a serious condition, to put it mildly.
A complete makeover or renovation won't be worth it. We have discussed among us that the best way is to tear down the whole structure and build a new one. It's heavily infected by termites, cockroaches and rats. And when I heard about the flood, I knew that our house would suffer the worst in the kampong.
Over the years, people around us has been renovating their houses, yet, we have done nothing. In a way, this has affected the level of the soil as they lifted the house to a higher ground leaving ours on the same level as before. It is so bad that everytime there was a heavy rain, ours would be the only one that have flash flood.
To say that I am sad is an understatement. I am gutted. That's the place where I grew up and spent half my life. That's the place where I first learned how to ride a bike. A homely place where I learned things from my mum. I had my first crush with Abang M and spent time daydreaming after seeing him walked pass the house. It's a place where I played all the childhood games like tengteng, tuju kasut etc. And we always had constant supplies of mangos and jambus from around the house. I always have fond memories of it.
Now, it's nothing more than a rundown house that is ready to collapse any time. Old cupboards have been eaten up by termites, windows and doors on top have fallen apart and the ceiling on the lower level has too many holes to count. Bird nests and cobwebs are everywhere. And now the flood water up above my knees has filled the house.
Once a upon a time, it was a glorious house.
I am embarassed. For leaving the house that way. For not doing anything. For not feeling connected anymore. For staying away.
I know what we have to do. I have a vision for that land. What I don't have is money. For now, it will have to stay as it is even though my heart cries every time I think of it.
No one lives in that house nor we have lotsa stuffs in it. Since Aci and family moved out almost a year ago, nobody wants to occupy it. The bros now have their own place and I, well, I don't come back too often anyway. Even when Aci was there, that place was in a serious condition, to put it mildly.
A complete makeover or renovation won't be worth it. We have discussed among us that the best way is to tear down the whole structure and build a new one. It's heavily infected by termites, cockroaches and rats. And when I heard about the flood, I knew that our house would suffer the worst in the kampong.
Over the years, people around us has been renovating their houses, yet, we have done nothing. In a way, this has affected the level of the soil as they lifted the house to a higher ground leaving ours on the same level as before. It is so bad that everytime there was a heavy rain, ours would be the only one that have flash flood.
To say that I am sad is an understatement. I am gutted. That's the place where I grew up and spent half my life. That's the place where I first learned how to ride a bike. A homely place where I learned things from my mum. I had my first crush with Abang M and spent time daydreaming after seeing him walked pass the house. It's a place where I played all the childhood games like tengteng, tuju kasut etc. And we always had constant supplies of mangos and jambus from around the house. I always have fond memories of it.
Now, it's nothing more than a rundown house that is ready to collapse any time. Old cupboards have been eaten up by termites, windows and doors on top have fallen apart and the ceiling on the lower level has too many holes to count. Bird nests and cobwebs are everywhere. And now the flood water up above my knees has filled the house.
Once a upon a time, it was a glorious house.
I am embarassed. For leaving the house that way. For not doing anything. For not feeling connected anymore. For staying away.
I know what we have to do. I have a vision for that land. What I don't have is money. For now, it will have to stay as it is even though my heart cries every time I think of it.
Monday, 19 December 2005
kampongku syurgaku
Masa saya balik kampong baru baru ni, saya rasa syok betoi. Memanglah saya balik sat saja tapi saya rasa, silaturrahim antara kami sekeluarga makin erat dan kuat.
Time ghaya dulu, saya lepak kat ghumah kakak saya tapi kali ni saya tidoq kat ghumah abang saya, Na, pulak. Na dah plan awai2 lagi nak bawak kami pi mengai ikan kat kampong dekat rumah abang2 saya Acik and Ateh. Budak2 tu apa lagi, memang syok habih la sebab dapat terjun bendang.
Ye lah. Orang la ni tak bagi anak main selut sebab jenuh nak kena cuci nanti, tapi kali ni depa bagi green light plak. Maybe sebab saya ada kot, and dah lama tak main kotorq and rasa hidup kampong ni kan. Anak2 menakan saya semuanya excited gila and semua sebok cari mata kai and umpan cacing.
Kami anak beranak, tak kira pompuan ka laki semua turun bendang and aloq tu. Masa nak bubuh umpan cacing tu..... Eeeewwww saya geli gila tengok cacing ngan ulat yang depa korek tu.
Tak sanggup saya nak cucuk kat pancing saya. Last skali, saya suruh anak menakan saya Hakeem tulung bubuh kan. Hakeem ni baru darjah 1. Hahahaaaa... buat malu saja. depa semua gelak kat saya. eesssh tak kisah lah kan. Janji we had fun.
Ada la anak menakan saya yang pompuan2 tu menjerit-jerit sebab geli, boy cousins bukan nak tulung sangat sampai saya pulak yang terpaksa bubuh umpan ulat kat kail depa ni.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... geli siot! tapi saya pejam mata sajalah. Ulat tu siap kodek kodek plak masa saya tengah pegang. Urrrggghhhhhhhhh...
Bila dah senja baru kami balik rumah. Between 8 of us, kami dapat 20 ekoq ikan puyu, 5 ikan ghuan and 2 ekoq sepat. Waaahhh!!! saya syok giler lah sebab saya memang suka makan puyu ni. Favorite tu. Abang2 and kakak saya tak makan ikan darat ni. Pasai apa pun saya tak tau. Depa syok tangkap saja. Saya lah yang untung. Hehehehe...
Dlm gelap lah saya siang ikan2 tu. Dah la gelap, pastu nyamuk pun banyak. Habis kena ketit kiri kanan ataih bawah. Nasib baik lah anak menakan saya ada dok suluh toslet. Suruh depa tulung pun depa kata tak tau nak besiang ikan. Amboiiii budak2 ni. Dok kat kampong tapi siang ikan pun tak tau. Macam mana ni? Saya dulu umoq 12 tahun dah tau masak gulai ikan dah. Habih la depa kena kitai ngan saya. Basuh cukup cukup. Jgn nak harap mak pak buat semua benda. Kecik2 lah kena belajaq. Aparaaaa.
Acik pulak masa tu tengah sebok dok bakaq ikan temenung sampai 40 ekoq. Dinner malam tu memang saya rasa the best lah I had with my family. Ada ulam pucuk kadok, daun ubi, sambai belacan, gulai ikan bendi, ikan bakaq and puyu goreng. Adoiiii...simple yet very the sedap one. Rasa macam tak puaih saja. Tak tau bila buleh buat cam tu lagi. Tahun depan saya rasa macam tak balik saja. Memang lah tak sure lagi, tapi kalau ikut kiraan poket saya, macam tak mampu. Tengok lah nanti. Insyaallah, ada rezeki nanti nampaklah batang idung saya yang kemek ni.
Time ghaya dulu, saya lepak kat ghumah kakak saya tapi kali ni saya tidoq kat ghumah abang saya, Na, pulak. Na dah plan awai2 lagi nak bawak kami pi mengai ikan kat kampong dekat rumah abang2 saya Acik and Ateh. Budak2 tu apa lagi, memang syok habih la sebab dapat terjun bendang.
Ye lah. Orang la ni tak bagi anak main selut sebab jenuh nak kena cuci nanti, tapi kali ni depa bagi green light plak. Maybe sebab saya ada kot, and dah lama tak main kotorq and rasa hidup kampong ni kan. Anak2 menakan saya semuanya excited gila and semua sebok cari mata kai and umpan cacing.
Kami anak beranak, tak kira pompuan ka laki semua turun bendang and aloq tu. Masa nak bubuh umpan cacing tu..... Eeeewwww saya geli gila tengok cacing ngan ulat yang depa korek tu.
Tak sanggup saya nak cucuk kat pancing saya. Last skali, saya suruh anak menakan saya Hakeem tulung bubuh kan. Hakeem ni baru darjah 1. Hahahaaaa... buat malu saja. depa semua gelak kat saya. eesssh tak kisah lah kan. Janji we had fun.
Ada la anak menakan saya yang pompuan2 tu menjerit-jerit sebab geli, boy cousins bukan nak tulung sangat sampai saya pulak yang terpaksa bubuh umpan ulat kat kail depa ni.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... geli siot! tapi saya pejam mata sajalah. Ulat tu siap kodek kodek plak masa saya tengah pegang. Urrrggghhhhhhhhh...
Bila dah senja baru kami balik rumah. Between 8 of us, kami dapat 20 ekoq ikan puyu, 5 ikan ghuan and 2 ekoq sepat. Waaahhh!!! saya syok giler lah sebab saya memang suka makan puyu ni. Favorite tu. Abang2 and kakak saya tak makan ikan darat ni. Pasai apa pun saya tak tau. Depa syok tangkap saja. Saya lah yang untung. Hehehehe...
Dlm gelap lah saya siang ikan2 tu. Dah la gelap, pastu nyamuk pun banyak. Habis kena ketit kiri kanan ataih bawah. Nasib baik lah anak menakan saya ada dok suluh toslet. Suruh depa tulung pun depa kata tak tau nak besiang ikan. Amboiiii budak2 ni. Dok kat kampong tapi siang ikan pun tak tau. Macam mana ni? Saya dulu umoq 12 tahun dah tau masak gulai ikan dah. Habih la depa kena kitai ngan saya. Basuh cukup cukup. Jgn nak harap mak pak buat semua benda. Kecik2 lah kena belajaq. Aparaaaa.
Acik pulak masa tu tengah sebok dok bakaq ikan temenung sampai 40 ekoq. Dinner malam tu memang saya rasa the best lah I had with my family. Ada ulam pucuk kadok, daun ubi, sambai belacan, gulai ikan bendi, ikan bakaq and puyu goreng. Adoiiii...simple yet very the sedap one. Rasa macam tak puaih saja. Tak tau bila buleh buat cam tu lagi. Tahun depan saya rasa macam tak balik saja. Memang lah tak sure lagi, tapi kalau ikut kiraan poket saya, macam tak mampu. Tengok lah nanti. Insyaallah, ada rezeki nanti nampaklah batang idung saya yang kemek ni.
Tuesday, 13 December 2005
when we were young...
I went home to see the family for the last time.
Sis in law, Ky picked me up from the airport, and my nieces and nephews, as always, were ecstatic to see me home. I have no shame to say that I am their favorite aunt. Hehehe... The one and only who manja all 13 of them.
However, Saturday nite was spent with friends. Initially, we plan to go to Padang Besar in the morning. I don't really have anything I want to get and because my flight was delayed, they left without me. Over dinner, Derk and Kec were telling me about the sceneries near ladang tebu in Chuping.
"Betul Wok, lawa giler. Aku tak sangka Perlis ada gak tempat cam ni"
"Tak yah gi overseas. Macam kat Queensland, and you have to see the oasis," according to Kec.
They showed a few pictures taken with their phones, and I have to admit that that pique me more. Obviously, I had to see this place so I pursuaded them to take me there.
Unlike me, my friends cannot go out so freely, be it during the day or night. They have inquisitive mothers who would screen every movement even though they're already married, especially Kec. Sometimes we laughed over this because she feels like she's still a kid instead of a woman in her 30s. Her mom wanted to see me but I avoided her because I know she would ask me to come home and be a teacher, just like her 3 daughters. No, thank you mam! And Derk's mom would always say "Tu nak pi tang mana? Nak pi perabih duit lagi lah tu."
Anyway, we managed to arrange for the trip since they kelentong their moms. Hehe.. that's my friends!
We left early Sunday morning and had breakfast on the go. The views are not too bad, but really, the weather didn't help. It was too bright. It would be excellent if we had dark cloud as in pre-rain. However, it was quite a good view at the viewing deck overlooking the sugarcane plantation.
The best thing about the trip is, however, not the sceneries. It is the quality time that we spent together. More like we reconnect all over again and it was so good to laugh ourselves silly. Just like all the fun times we had when we were young and adventurous. Mind you, I am still young and adventurous! But the things we did, we only have the memories to hold on to. Like the time when all 3 of us decided to shave our head, the all-girl fishing trips, the driving classes in the middle of the night and the cycling trips down Katy Trail. Aahhhhh...
It was so good that we decided to drive all the way to Padang Besar and I ended up shopping for the things I don't need. No regrets though. On the way home, I told them we should have a girlie trip every time I come home. It'd be fun, girls!
Sis in law, Ky picked me up from the airport, and my nieces and nephews, as always, were ecstatic to see me home. I have no shame to say that I am their favorite aunt. Hehehe... The one and only who manja all 13 of them.
However, Saturday nite was spent with friends. Initially, we plan to go to Padang Besar in the morning. I don't really have anything I want to get and because my flight was delayed, they left without me. Over dinner, Derk and Kec were telling me about the sceneries near ladang tebu in Chuping.
"Betul Wok, lawa giler. Aku tak sangka Perlis ada gak tempat cam ni"
"Tak yah gi overseas. Macam kat Queensland, and you have to see the oasis," according to Kec.
They showed a few pictures taken with their phones, and I have to admit that that pique me more. Obviously, I had to see this place so I pursuaded them to take me there.
Unlike me, my friends cannot go out so freely, be it during the day or night. They have inquisitive mothers who would screen every movement even though they're already married, especially Kec. Sometimes we laughed over this because she feels like she's still a kid instead of a woman in her 30s. Her mom wanted to see me but I avoided her because I know she would ask me to come home and be a teacher, just like her 3 daughters. No, thank you mam! And Derk's mom would always say "Tu nak pi tang mana? Nak pi perabih duit lagi lah tu."
Anyway, we managed to arrange for the trip since they kelentong their moms. Hehe.. that's my friends!
We left early Sunday morning and had breakfast on the go. The views are not too bad, but really, the weather didn't help. It was too bright. It would be excellent if we had dark cloud as in pre-rain. However, it was quite a good view at the viewing deck overlooking the sugarcane plantation.
The best thing about the trip is, however, not the sceneries. It is the quality time that we spent together. More like we reconnect all over again and it was so good to laugh ourselves silly. Just like all the fun times we had when we were young and adventurous. Mind you, I am still young and adventurous! But the things we did, we only have the memories to hold on to. Like the time when all 3 of us decided to shave our head, the all-girl fishing trips, the driving classes in the middle of the night and the cycling trips down Katy Trail. Aahhhhh...
It was so good that we decided to drive all the way to Padang Besar and I ended up shopping for the things I don't need. No regrets though. On the way home, I told them we should have a girlie trip every time I come home. It'd be fun, girls!
Saturday, 10 December 2005
Lesson # 241: Next time, don't assume. Listen and be heard.
Tomorrow, I am off balik kampung again until the 13th. My flight back to the UK is confirmed on the 30th Dec, but I told my family that this will be the last time I'd be back. I simply don't have the strength to go back and forth frequently. And I do feel I want to spend more time here in KL.
Oh! I have yet to write about the first time I saw the whole clan after I came back, without my tudung. Though my sister has seen me without one last April, I didn't know whether she told the bros. I seriously didn't know what to expect.
I can't say that the bros are alim, but they are good practising Muslims. Na, especially, carries out his life ikut sunnah, if he can. He talks about hadis and wears lebai somemore. Initially I thought that he would be the one to strike against me. Or at least he would advise me to reconsider putting it back on. He did neither. He didn't even ask me the reason.
All these while I felt like I couldn't face them. I assume that they would be mad at me, therefore I isolated myself and zipped my lips on this matter. Now I realised it was a wasted effort. They are more understanding, more accommodating and more relaxed than I thought.
Oh! I have yet to write about the first time I saw the whole clan after I came back, without my tudung. Though my sister has seen me without one last April, I didn't know whether she told the bros. I seriously didn't know what to expect.
I can't say that the bros are alim, but they are good practising Muslims. Na, especially, carries out his life ikut sunnah, if he can. He talks about hadis and wears lebai somemore. Initially I thought that he would be the one to strike against me. Or at least he would advise me to reconsider putting it back on. He did neither. He didn't even ask me the reason.
All these while I felt like I couldn't face them. I assume that they would be mad at me, therefore I isolated myself and zipped my lips on this matter. Now I realised it was a wasted effort. They are more understanding, more accommodating and more relaxed than I thought.
beautiful pontianak
A few of my friends have been telling me that I should watch Pontianak HSM II (No. 2), but I had to refrain myself because I hadn't watch the first one. I didn't want to be clueless. Btw, I found out from minamona's blog that HSM is a flower. Oh wow! That's new to me.
Yesterday, I finally found a copy of PHSM (No. 1) among the dusty vcds kept in the drawer. Three quarter into the first cd, suddenly there was a blackout. I wouldn't go into details of this problem, but obviously I got a little bit frustrated. I had to wait until today before I finished the whole movie, and by that I time, I was due to meet PS and Aces at Midvalley for the second installment.
I am impressed with No. 1. Not many Malay films offer interesting outlook in a new dimension and elaborate the depth to such details. I am sure there are flaws but I hardly noticed any (I'm bias when I like something).
In No. 2, a lot of the flashbacks may be a little bit confusing to those who tried to recall No. 1, but lucky me, they're still fresh in my memory. Everything looks very promising until halfway into the movie. The plot is, in my opinion, weak and a little bit off. Too much information to digest. As I watched more, I feel that there is no need for the producer/director to explain the scenes i.e. Meriam's Revenge, The Awakening. To me, it looks like as if they doubt the intelligence of the audience by trying to explain things in writing. If you get it, you get it. If you don't, tough!
I especially like the kuda kepang dances. Beautifully done. It does look real and in fact, I was told that these actually happened during performances. Kena rasuk they say.
All in all, hats off to the director. It's unfair to compare with other movies because different directors have their own ways and interpretation, yet I have to say that PHSM (No 1) has all the right ingredients for best film, even better than Sepet. No 2, however, is slightly behind.
These are good Malay films that I enjoy. I, as always, found that my cheeks are wet from the very beginning. Sad what... I kesian the pontianak. I would seek for revenge too if I were in her position. No way I'm gonna let them loose. I dendam sampai mati. Anyone violate my trust, hurt and betray me, you have been warned!
Yesterday, I finally found a copy of PHSM (No. 1) among the dusty vcds kept in the drawer. Three quarter into the first cd, suddenly there was a blackout. I wouldn't go into details of this problem, but obviously I got a little bit frustrated. I had to wait until today before I finished the whole movie, and by that I time, I was due to meet PS and Aces at Midvalley for the second installment.
I am impressed with No. 1. Not many Malay films offer interesting outlook in a new dimension and elaborate the depth to such details. I am sure there are flaws but I hardly noticed any (I'm bias when I like something).
In No. 2, a lot of the flashbacks may be a little bit confusing to those who tried to recall No. 1, but lucky me, they're still fresh in my memory. Everything looks very promising until halfway into the movie. The plot is, in my opinion, weak and a little bit off. Too much information to digest. As I watched more, I feel that there is no need for the producer/director to explain the scenes i.e. Meriam's Revenge, The Awakening. To me, it looks like as if they doubt the intelligence of the audience by trying to explain things in writing. If you get it, you get it. If you don't, tough!
I especially like the kuda kepang dances. Beautifully done. It does look real and in fact, I was told that these actually happened during performances. Kena rasuk they say.
All in all, hats off to the director. It's unfair to compare with other movies because different directors have their own ways and interpretation, yet I have to say that PHSM (No 1) has all the right ingredients for best film, even better than Sepet. No 2, however, is slightly behind.
These are good Malay films that I enjoy. I, as always, found that my cheeks are wet from the very beginning. Sad what... I kesian the pontianak. I would seek for revenge too if I were in her position. No way I'm gonna let them loose. I dendam sampai mati. Anyone violate my trust, hurt and betray me, you have been warned!
Friday, 9 December 2005
the devil temptation
Some people have been asking me about my previous blog and the reason I deleted it. You see, I only shifted the url and left it floating on the internet, but I wanted to think it over about the future of it (I often wonder whether blogs have future).
After almost two months, I decided to put it back up where it used to be, but apparently blogspot had a different idea. I couldn't use the old url and after a few hours of trying, I got really fed up and mad. It was spur of a moment. This morning, I felt sad because it's no longer there. I put such an effort in it and I loved every single thing I did to it. Ah well.
Lately, I am tempted to smoke. It all started when I went to dinner with Honeytar and Peanut. We reminisced about the crazy things we did in our younger years when suddenly I felt the urge. I haven't had one since April 2005. I didn't want to succumb to my urges so I managed to fight the nafsu. It wasn't so difficult.
I thought that the need for a smoke is just temporarily, yet I had the same urge for the last 3 days. It didn't help that I have a zippo lookalike in my bag. Today, I reckon the temptation was so much bigger and I long for the tabacco smell on my fingers. I gave in to the devil's temptation at 7-E and bought a 20pk Marlboro Menthol Lights.
I tried just one to see whether I like it or not, but I didn't even finish half of it. Rugi besar! I have to get used to the taste again.
After almost two months, I decided to put it back up where it used to be, but apparently blogspot had a different idea. I couldn't use the old url and after a few hours of trying, I got really fed up and mad. It was spur of a moment. This morning, I felt sad because it's no longer there. I put such an effort in it and I loved every single thing I did to it. Ah well.
Lately, I am tempted to smoke. It all started when I went to dinner with Honeytar and Peanut. We reminisced about the crazy things we did in our younger years when suddenly I felt the urge. I haven't had one since April 2005. I didn't want to succumb to my urges so I managed to fight the nafsu. It wasn't so difficult.
I thought that the need for a smoke is just temporarily, yet I had the same urge for the last 3 days. It didn't help that I have a zippo lookalike in my bag. Today, I reckon the temptation was so much bigger and I long for the tabacco smell on my fingers. I gave in to the devil's temptation at 7-E and bought a 20pk Marlboro Menthol Lights.
I tried just one to see whether I like it or not, but I didn't even finish half of it. Rugi besar! I have to get used to the taste again.
Tuesday, 6 December 2005
Sunday bloody sunday....
Sunday was not exactly bloody. It was just to catch your attention. Gotcha!
It was just another fun (?) but certainly interesting day. I had a wedding at noon, tea at 3pm and trip to Singapore at 6pm. See, am I not a good planner?
This wedding will go down as the easiest and the most awkward one I ever attended. Because my friends had hiccups in the morning, I went alone. Also, because of tea I had to go later, I decided not to wear baju kurung and when I mentioned that to a friend, she blasted me for being insensitive. Ya Allah! Itu pun kena aah? I swear to God that wasn't what I had in mind. I guess I wanted to feel comfortable and wearing baju kurung was never a comfortable thing to me what with sweats dripping down my legs. eeeeyyeewwwwwww... Besides I warned the bride about my attire and she said it's fine for her. I took her word just as it is (as I always do), now you know so don't say that you haven't been told.
The little tea party was, errrmm... let's just say you never had one like that before. You know, I had never been asked to be a bodyguard in either in my current or previous life, but last sunday I was one. Yay for me!
As we got there earlier than her date, I can't help but find it funny when dz set up our sitting arrangements. She wanted to be between me and gs, without any space in between for the old gatal man to squeeze in. Hahaha...
The minute the guy walked in, we had bahasa isyarat going, with knowing eyes and smiles. Gs was trying to tell me something but I was blur so most of the times I couldn't read his lips. Saya blur la.
I don't think I was of any helps. While she was drilling the grandpa, I was giggling though I tried very hard to suppress my sengih and to look like I was interested. Especially when she made a comment he was very prolific, thank goodness he didn't quite catch it. Gila ke apa? 10 kids! Eh hello? You talking to a bunch of youngsters (we young what), I am seriously not interested in listening about you and your missing children. Ok lah I should be a little bit compassionate but I guess I was not feeling hospitable towards him. We had enough troubles of our own, thank you.
I noticed he has some kind of air or arrogance in him, maybe because he strike out on his own and is proud of his achievements, but he sure looked gatal with a capital G. Aiyyaaa gelilahh. The way he tucked his shirt, so very old fashioned one. SLK or not, he's definitely out thru the window faster than you can say 'bye'.
Gs, you dare say he fancied me, I kill you!
There were several times when we had awkward silences. I sure dunno what to talk with grandpa. We had nothing in common, hah! But I tell you, he said he was in Kolej Sultan Abdul Hamid. These kolej boys are notorious spoil brats! especially my batch.
After a moment, we ran out of things to say and I needed to be somewhere else, which I think turned out to be a good parting excuse. Dz, my advice to you is never ever reply to anything he send after this. Just ignore him. The grandpa is not worth your time, not even as friend. You're young, carefree and funny, shallow man be him young or old is not for you.
When we walked to the car, I think he did try to catch up with us. Mana tau, kot kot dia ingat he get to be alone with her. Bleeeaaghh!
Luckily the drive down to JB was fine. I don't think I can stand another drama. If everyday like this, I die ooooh.
It was just another fun (?) but certainly interesting day. I had a wedding at noon, tea at 3pm and trip to Singapore at 6pm. See, am I not a good planner?
This wedding will go down as the easiest and the most awkward one I ever attended. Because my friends had hiccups in the morning, I went alone. Also, because of tea I had to go later, I decided not to wear baju kurung and when I mentioned that to a friend, she blasted me for being insensitive. Ya Allah! Itu pun kena aah? I swear to God that wasn't what I had in mind. I guess I wanted to feel comfortable and wearing baju kurung was never a comfortable thing to me what with sweats dripping down my legs. eeeeyyeewwwwwww... Besides I warned the bride about my attire and she said it's fine for her. I took her word just as it is (as I always do), now you know so don't say that you haven't been told.
The little tea party was, errrmm... let's just say you never had one like that before. You know, I had never been asked to be a bodyguard in either in my current or previous life, but last sunday I was one. Yay for me!
As we got there earlier than her date, I can't help but find it funny when dz set up our sitting arrangements. She wanted to be between me and gs, without any space in between for the old gatal man to squeeze in. Hahaha...
The minute the guy walked in, we had bahasa isyarat going, with knowing eyes and smiles. Gs was trying to tell me something but I was blur so most of the times I couldn't read his lips. Saya blur la.
I don't think I was of any helps. While she was drilling the grandpa, I was giggling though I tried very hard to suppress my sengih and to look like I was interested. Especially when she made a comment he was very prolific, thank goodness he didn't quite catch it. Gila ke apa? 10 kids! Eh hello? You talking to a bunch of youngsters (we young what), I am seriously not interested in listening about you and your missing children. Ok lah I should be a little bit compassionate but I guess I was not feeling hospitable towards him. We had enough troubles of our own, thank you.
I noticed he has some kind of air or arrogance in him, maybe because he strike out on his own and is proud of his achievements, but he sure looked gatal with a capital G. Aiyyaaa gelilahh. The way he tucked his shirt, so very old fashioned one. SLK or not, he's definitely out thru the window faster than you can say 'bye'.
Gs, you dare say he fancied me, I kill you!
There were several times when we had awkward silences. I sure dunno what to talk with grandpa. We had nothing in common, hah! But I tell you, he said he was in Kolej Sultan Abdul Hamid. These kolej boys are notorious spoil brats! especially my batch.
After a moment, we ran out of things to say and I needed to be somewhere else, which I think turned out to be a good parting excuse. Dz, my advice to you is never ever reply to anything he send after this. Just ignore him. The grandpa is not worth your time, not even as friend. You're young, carefree and funny, shallow man be him young or old is not for you.
When we walked to the car, I think he did try to catch up with us. Mana tau, kot kot dia ingat he get to be alone with her. Bleeeaaghh!
Luckily the drive down to JB was fine. I don't think I can stand another drama. If everyday like this, I die ooooh.
what a pretty good week!
Since I been back, I've been keeping quite a busy social life. I am not complaining, in fact I am glad to meet friends.
If you know me before, you'd be surprised at this change of personality. I haven't ditch everything. I am still the same Ewok but there's an obvious change. I go out a lot more, I meet more people and make new friends which is good and for the better. Yet, I still believe that I am socially inept.
I go out but I hardly talk. I shy away from attention and I dislike finding out that people read me before though I admit it was very flattering in the beginning. Some of the things that I thought were private, should stay private. I am not ashamed but just... uncomfortable, I would say. Unlike some who like to boost about being pretty or having this and that kind of businesses or thirst for life, I like to remain under the surface. One has to know me in order to get to know me. Geddit?
Anyway, the last few days I have been tagging dz (poor her. she must be bored stiff having the quiet me around) to parties. Aiya.. no shame lah me. On thursday we had dinner at Rasta with Haji Malim and Ms Gymnast. If Haji reads this, I have to say that I still tak puas hati lah Aji. I have to take you out further than TTDI and Bangsar. If I have to drive you, I will. Hehehe...
Before sending me back to my car, Hj and I stopped at her workplace and waaalllaaaa.. I got a free tour of the studios. Thanks ye aji. I hope you got home safely and not sesat after that. Btw, Haji Malim the cat does exist and not just an imagination of the owner.
Since Friday lunch is always longer than usual, I decided to meet old friends at Putrajaya. All of them had something worth complaining. Their bosses, the workload, the unfairness, the cold treatment, their longing and frustrations. I knew it all for I had them once, not too long ago. The massage session I had later turned out to be real good as stress reliever since my back pain has now totally disappeared. Thank goodness for zen.
You know, for a lone ranger like me, having to go to 3 parties on a Saturday is, well, a bit too much. The bbq at Ju's was a success if we judge by how fast the chickens and kebabs were consumed. My dear friend is a good cook. She especially made her famous mee kari for me. Other than that we had pulut kuning, rendang, nasi himpit, cakes and lotsa puddings. All homemade.
With my hair smelling like I just lepas kena salai, I zoomed to dz's for two more parties. For the first time, I met Sharon Bakar and she turned out to be a lovely bubbly woman. I admit I was blur as I sat at a table mostly dominated by either writer or editor.
It's kinda funny when someone thought that dz and I are sisters. (Ewok geleng kepala) Look at me, I'm like a sore thumb whereas she's pretty and slim. Two different looks and we're sisters?! Haha!
The last party was cool. Though my tummy was full, food were absolutely brilliant. I was more the observer (told you I dunno how to talk) and listening to them gays, I find that they are real fun to be with. Hilarious! But hmmm... looking at the gay mags proved to be a waste of time. Where are the men for us, I ask?
Sunday: to be continued..
If you know me before, you'd be surprised at this change of personality. I haven't ditch everything. I am still the same Ewok but there's an obvious change. I go out a lot more, I meet more people and make new friends which is good and for the better. Yet, I still believe that I am socially inept.
I go out but I hardly talk. I shy away from attention and I dislike finding out that people read me before though I admit it was very flattering in the beginning. Some of the things that I thought were private, should stay private. I am not ashamed but just... uncomfortable, I would say. Unlike some who like to boost about being pretty or having this and that kind of businesses or thirst for life, I like to remain under the surface. One has to know me in order to get to know me. Geddit?
Anyway, the last few days I have been tagging dz (poor her. she must be bored stiff having the quiet me around) to parties. Aiya.. no shame lah me. On thursday we had dinner at Rasta with Haji Malim and Ms Gymnast. If Haji reads this, I have to say that I still tak puas hati lah Aji. I have to take you out further than TTDI and Bangsar. If I have to drive you, I will. Hehehe...
Before sending me back to my car, Hj and I stopped at her workplace and waaalllaaaa.. I got a free tour of the studios. Thanks ye aji. I hope you got home safely and not sesat after that. Btw, Haji Malim the cat does exist and not just an imagination of the owner.
Since Friday lunch is always longer than usual, I decided to meet old friends at Putrajaya. All of them had something worth complaining. Their bosses, the workload, the unfairness, the cold treatment, their longing and frustrations. I knew it all for I had them once, not too long ago. The massage session I had later turned out to be real good as stress reliever since my back pain has now totally disappeared. Thank goodness for zen.
You know, for a lone ranger like me, having to go to 3 parties on a Saturday is, well, a bit too much. The bbq at Ju's was a success if we judge by how fast the chickens and kebabs were consumed. My dear friend is a good cook. She especially made her famous mee kari for me. Other than that we had pulut kuning, rendang, nasi himpit, cakes and lotsa puddings. All homemade.
With my hair smelling like I just lepas kena salai, I zoomed to dz's for two more parties. For the first time, I met Sharon Bakar and she turned out to be a lovely bubbly woman. I admit I was blur as I sat at a table mostly dominated by either writer or editor.
It's kinda funny when someone thought that dz and I are sisters. (Ewok geleng kepala) Look at me, I'm like a sore thumb whereas she's pretty and slim. Two different looks and we're sisters?! Haha!
The last party was cool. Though my tummy was full, food were absolutely brilliant. I was more the observer (told you I dunno how to talk) and listening to them gays, I find that they are real fun to be with. Hilarious! But hmmm... looking at the gay mags proved to be a waste of time. Where are the men for us, I ask?
Sunday: to be continued..
Friday, 2 December 2005
why i would die for my friends?
Sometimes I wonder how does it feel to live the life of a socialite. What time do they wake up? What they do since they're not busting their arses working. When their night ends? What's in their minds?
My guess is probably thinking about ways to spend more money. Outdo each other.
What to wear? Ohhhh... Gucci izzit?
Where to dine? To see and to be seen.
Gossip, scandal and bitching. They know it all.
Tak penat ke?
Do they really have friends in the circle? Friends who will stand by you by hook or by crook.
1. I have a friend whom I had known since I was 5. We went to the same schools, college and uni. We lived together for a while. Though we seldom see each other, but I know she's there. My mum was her mum's good friend. Our fathers bonded like brothers. And when my mum died, her's did her best to help me leave the country. I went to see them few weeks ago. Her father is now half deaf but her mum is still beautiful. They still treat me like a child they knew back then and for a while, I felt I was loved again.
2. There was a friend who had been my back bone for the last few years for without her, I wouldn't survive. A friend, who crossed every boundary, any obstacles; who would help no matter what situation I was in. Whose family accepted and love me like their own. She is a sister and a friend rolled into one. There's no other like her.
3. One good friend's wise advice is a sooth to the ears, and that's what make me realised I had a gem in my circle. What I love about her is that she doesn't care what others think. She is honest to the point of being brutal. She will poke at logic and rationale and make you eat your words, but deep down I know she cares and loves me enough to see that I don't do myself any harms.
4. Then, there were new friends whom I met in the past few months. Sometimes, just by listening and reading, you know what kind of person they are and whether they are worth your time. Every time you find out something about them, you broaden your horizon. New friends who share your likes and dislikes, suffer the same loss, hold the same values and dream for almost heaven. Every single moment spent with them I consider a pool of wealth. I am lucky to have discovered great, smart and beautiful people. If I could, I want to frame them for I am scared they will leave so soon.
I am a peasant. I only have friends and not pots of gold.
My guess is probably thinking about ways to spend more money. Outdo each other.
What to wear? Ohhhh... Gucci izzit?
Where to dine? To see and to be seen.
Gossip, scandal and bitching. They know it all.
Tak penat ke?
Do they really have friends in the circle? Friends who will stand by you by hook or by crook.
1. I have a friend whom I had known since I was 5. We went to the same schools, college and uni. We lived together for a while. Though we seldom see each other, but I know she's there. My mum was her mum's good friend. Our fathers bonded like brothers. And when my mum died, her's did her best to help me leave the country. I went to see them few weeks ago. Her father is now half deaf but her mum is still beautiful. They still treat me like a child they knew back then and for a while, I felt I was loved again.
2. There was a friend who had been my back bone for the last few years for without her, I wouldn't survive. A friend, who crossed every boundary, any obstacles; who would help no matter what situation I was in. Whose family accepted and love me like their own. She is a sister and a friend rolled into one. There's no other like her.
3. One good friend's wise advice is a sooth to the ears, and that's what make me realised I had a gem in my circle. What I love about her is that she doesn't care what others think. She is honest to the point of being brutal. She will poke at logic and rationale and make you eat your words, but deep down I know she cares and loves me enough to see that I don't do myself any harms.
4. Then, there were new friends whom I met in the past few months. Sometimes, just by listening and reading, you know what kind of person they are and whether they are worth your time. Every time you find out something about them, you broaden your horizon. New friends who share your likes and dislikes, suffer the same loss, hold the same values and dream for almost heaven. Every single moment spent with them I consider a pool of wealth. I am lucky to have discovered great, smart and beautiful people. If I could, I want to frame them for I am scared they will leave so soon.
I am a peasant. I only have friends and not pots of gold.
Thursday, 1 December 2005
blimey tummy!
Thru out the night, I had a very disturbing night. My diarrhea had become worst. So this morning, I head straight to the clinic after I got a car.
No one was around so it was really quick. Dr. Norliza was pleasant but soft spoken. Half the time I couldn't hear the things she said. Weird though since I had lost a lot of water and mineral, I expect to be given some kind of salt or some sort like that. In the end, I came back with some antibiotic, pills and nothing else. The good doctor must have thought that I am just a lazy bitch trying to feign sickness to get an mc. Ohh! And I had a spliting headache just looking at the lists on her wall!
No one was around so it was really quick. Dr. Norliza was pleasant but soft spoken. Half the time I couldn't hear the things she said. Weird though since I had lost a lot of water and mineral, I expect to be given some kind of salt or some sort like that. In the end, I came back with some antibiotic, pills and nothing else. The good doctor must have thought that I am just a lazy bitch trying to feign sickness to get an mc. Ohh! And I had a spliting headache just looking at the lists on her wall!
Wednesday, 30 November 2005
so many things to write....
but nothing comes out.
The last few weeks saw me running back and forth KL-Kedah-KL. Damn tired! It's kinda weird because seems like I've been having a lot of health problems ever since. Been coughing non-stop since after raya. After the family trip to Langkawi, I had fever and terrible (I mean really horrible) cough. And yesterday, I started having back pain and it's killing me at night. To make matter worst, today, my tummy is acting up with diarrhea.
Arrrrrrrrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
When it's ever gonna stop!!!?
I promise myself I will write about everything I've been through this holiday. Had some great memories as well as bad. Be patient. Words don't come easily.
The last few weeks saw me running back and forth KL-Kedah-KL. Damn tired! It's kinda weird because seems like I've been having a lot of health problems ever since. Been coughing non-stop since after raya. After the family trip to Langkawi, I had fever and terrible (I mean really horrible) cough. And yesterday, I started having back pain and it's killing me at night. To make matter worst, today, my tummy is acting up with diarrhea.
Arrrrrrrrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
When it's ever gonna stop!!!?
I promise myself I will write about everything I've been through this holiday. Had some great memories as well as bad. Be patient. Words don't come easily.
Tuesday, 29 November 2005
I swear if someone asked me to teman her watch Harry Potter, I'd cast a spell and turn her into turnip! Last night, I went to teman another friend and I realized I must be crazy. I know I have time in my hands but watching HP for the 3rd time is plain cuckoo. Movie is not bad but maaannn... lama siot, and the ads are just the same ol boring stuff!
btw, Viktor Krum is yummy. the strong and silent type. aaaaahhhhhhhhhh...
btw, Viktor Krum is yummy. the strong and silent type. aaaaahhhhhhhhhh...
Sunday, 27 November 2005
Wednesday, 9 November 2005
Stories begin again
For me to start another blog just as I closed the first one is a wonder. How the heck am I gonna do it? Nevertheless, I believe that I was born a blogger.
This blog is just a place to tell stories and rants of any kinds, in reality or fantasy. After all, we are just actors playing our parts.
Kenapa? Tak percaya ke?
This blog is just a place to tell stories and rants of any kinds, in reality or fantasy. After all, we are just actors playing our parts.
Kenapa? Tak percaya ke?
Wednesday, 19 October 2005
Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri
In about 30 minutes, taxi will be here to pick me up for Heathrow. I'm going home! Time for a well deserved break.
I had a great time here, making new friends and sharing life experiences. I couldn't ask for more. Though it's kinda hard to leave but it's time to take a step back.
Hopefully, when I come back to the blog world, everything will be fresh and better than before.
To all, I wish you enjoy life. Be good. Thank you for the wonderful year and please forgive me for any wrongdoings or comments that may have hurt you directly or indirectly.
Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin.
See you when I see you.
I had a great time here, making new friends and sharing life experiences. I couldn't ask for more. Though it's kinda hard to leave but it's time to take a step back.
Hopefully, when I come back to the blog world, everything will be fresh and better than before.
To all, I wish you enjoy life. Be good. Thank you for the wonderful year and please forgive me for any wrongdoings or comments that may have hurt you directly or indirectly.
Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin.
See you when I see you.
Monday, 10 October 2005
road to victory
8 months ago, I made a pact with myself. I had to do something about my ever disturbing battle with willpower.
It was nowhere near I want it to be. And the problem I had kept getting worse and it went up to... here (choking my neck) So, a drastic measure had to be taken.
It was really hard in the beginning, I kept postponing and making excuses even though I'd set the dateline on 15 Oct. In a few days, I will run out of time. The months have passed quite fast and I'm sad to say that I'm not even close to my target.
It was not impossible to do it in time I'd given myself, yet I didn't manage to achieve it. Mmmmm.. Looks like procrastination is still my big problem.
Though I haven't got what I aim for, I cannot say that I have failed. No. It would be wrong to say that. Instead of starting in Feb, I only started getting serious about it after my birthday. Ok, so I was a few months late, but I did do it and there's no turning back now.
Along the way, I am happy that I had push myself. It wasn't a perfect journey. Over and over again I keep losing willpower but somehow manage to regain it after pep talking myself. I had never gone this far before or felt any better. I cannot ruin what little victories I got.
I may not get what I want immediately, but I'm on the road to my destination. Hey... I'm actually halfway there, and that should be a good indication, isn't it?
No worries, Ewok. You will get there somehow.
It was nowhere near I want it to be. And the problem I had kept getting worse and it went up to... here (choking my neck) So, a drastic measure had to be taken.
It was really hard in the beginning, I kept postponing and making excuses even though I'd set the dateline on 15 Oct. In a few days, I will run out of time. The months have passed quite fast and I'm sad to say that I'm not even close to my target.
It was not impossible to do it in time I'd given myself, yet I didn't manage to achieve it. Mmmmm.. Looks like procrastination is still my big problem.
Though I haven't got what I aim for, I cannot say that I have failed. No. It would be wrong to say that. Instead of starting in Feb, I only started getting serious about it after my birthday. Ok, so I was a few months late, but I did do it and there's no turning back now.
Along the way, I am happy that I had push myself. It wasn't a perfect journey. Over and over again I keep losing willpower but somehow manage to regain it after pep talking myself. I had never gone this far before or felt any better. I cannot ruin what little victories I got.
I may not get what I want immediately, but I'm on the road to my destination. Hey... I'm actually halfway there, and that should be a good indication, isn't it?
No worries, Ewok. You will get there somehow.
Wednesday, 5 October 2005
friendship like ours
It is rare that you meet someone
who with that first smile
becomes your friend
Someone who knows nothing
about you one day
and all your secret thoughts the next
Someone who asks for nothing
in return for friendship
but friendship itself
Someone who makes it just as easy
to share sadness
as it is to share joy
I found that rare someone
when I found you.
And like a precious memory
a friendship like ours is forever
Dawn M.Miller
who with that first smile
becomes your friend
Someone who knows nothing
about you one day
and all your secret thoughts the next
Someone who asks for nothing
in return for friendship
but friendship itself
Someone who makes it just as easy
to share sadness
as it is to share joy
I found that rare someone
when I found you.
And like a precious memory
a friendship like ours is forever
Dawn M.Miller
Tuesday, 4 October 2005
Untukmu Ibu
Warning: Long and winding entry. Avoid if you don't want to get bored.
This Ramadhan is just going to be like the previous ones. Life has become quiet and less lively. Last puasa, I spent time in London and went walking down River Thames on first day of raya. I didn’t know anybody here and I wasn’t ready to get to know anybody.
When Mak was around, bulan puasa was the most anticipated time of the year. I enjoyed going home although I was only away from home 3 Ramadhans before she passed away.
Usually, one month before puasa, she would always go to a place called Tandop or Seberang Perak, looking for chicks. She would buy 30 ekor anak ayam for Ateh to bela and jaga in time for Ramadhan. As we start puasa, Bapak and Ateh would sembelih the ayams every other day. Sometimes, Ateh and I went running around the backyard chasing and trying to catch the chickens. Everyday was a feast. I remember everytime we were having ayam percik, I was entrusted as the tukang panggang. Oh how I loved it especially when I cannot puasa. Mak has a special recipe for marinating them, which I am now trying to master the way she did it with the right amount of the ingredients.
In our house, we never buy any food from the bazaar. Mak always cooked. She has a passion for food. Mak liked to get everything ready quite early. By 3 p.m., she would start mixing ingredients, be it cucurq udang, karipap, sfera, cucurq keria etc etc. If I feel like eating something, I need only to say it and she would make them for me. She knew I loved mee rebus, (not to be confused with mee bandung or mee kari, mee rebus is different and normally known to DKK) and when I come home from college, she would make sure I had my favorites on the table the first day I was home.
Throughout Ramadhan, I became her ever faithful assistant. I remember sometimes there were days when I sulked because the day was hot and all I wanted to do was lying around and doing nothing. Now, I realized that that were the quality times I spent with her. Nothing could ever take the memories away from me as they are so precious and close to my heart. I spent so much times with her at home that there were so much of her knowledge passed down to me, of which I need to carefully recall as I had subconsciously buried them.
She used to make cendul from scratch. I don’t know what she put in the mixture but I remember she mixed flour with air daun pandan to get the color green. She had this periuk that had lots of lubang. I think it was Bapak who punched the lubang with his nails and hammer. Once the thick mixture was ready, she would pour into the periuk. Underneath the periuk was a bucket of cold water. She would use batang anak pokok pisang to stir and press in the periuk. The mixture that plopped down through the lubang was hardened by the cold water to become isi cendul that was far better than the ones sold at the bazaar.
We are lucky because I think we were spoilt food-wise. Mak always preferred to prepare homemade food rather than buying. We had the best, all natural and free of any artificials. Gone were those days.
In the late afternoon, after all the food was ready, Mak would fill several plates to give away to the neighbors. She always made extra. I liked it when I bring them over to each house. The anticipation to find out what the neighbors would give back. It wasn’t that we expect them to return our gestures but it was just a matter of courtesy. The waiting and game guessing of who made what was fun for me and Ateh. I hardly came home empty handed.
When we break fast, we never ever eat rice first. In fact we hardly had rice. Normally, it would be meehoon, mee etc. Nasi was only for soq (sahur) only. We would only have drink, a few bites of the cucurq and dates and off we go for a prayer. After prayer, we would then resume dinner. The first Ramadhan I was away from home, I cried buckets on the phone to Mak. I missed home terribly, yet I was only in Shah Alam and already 18!
I loved the time when it was getting close to raya. She always had people ordering baulu from her. She made the best baulu in the kampung, only RM10 for 100 pieces. When I was very little, I liked eating the burned baulu so she kept them for me. At least, they were not wasted. As I grew up, I became quite picky and I didn’t want them anymore. I went for the golden fluffy, which are supposed to be sold to the customers. So, she told me off and made me make my own baulu. At 6 a.m., she would prepare ingredients ie eggs and sugar using her Moulinex. This would go on forever until she finished all 30 or 50 eggs for the day.
In the meantime, as the first batch of eggs and sugar was well beaten, she would add the flour and mix them slowly. I had to learn how much to put in the acuan, too much it would balloon up, too little it would look like my hidung penyek. The baulu was baked not in an oven but in a primitive way with dapur minyak tanah, claypot and bara sabut. I learnt that in the claypot, sands and wet papers were used as a shield or barrier to prevent the api from baking the bottom part of baulu faster that the upper part. Oh, I am confusing myself, but as long as I can visualize this, I think I am still ok.
2 weeks before raya, we would start our cookies sessions. Mak and I loved baking cakes and cookies and we liked to try many new recipes. This reminds me that I will have to do a thorough search for her thick recipe books. We never buy biskut raya when Mak was still alive. No way Jose! The must have biskut raya were samperit, biskut makmur, cornflakes (our own style – I’ve never seen it at any other house except at Wa’s) and baulu. The rest of the biskut raya were trial and error. At one raya, between the two of us, we made about 20 odd types of biskut and 6 different cakes. Excuse me, but we all had different tastes and not willing to sacrifice our cakes. Moist choc cake for me, fruit cake for Bapak, marble cake for Mak, kek lapis for Aci, orange for Na and kek batik for Ateh. Phewww!
As we get closer to raya, there were the ketupat to do. Mak made the ketupat palas as well as ketupat nasi because Javaman is orang Johor. I was forced to learn menganyam daun kelapa, but I do enjoy making ketupat palas. It’s one of the skills I haven’t forgotten.
In a way, I guess I am anak Mak. I will always try to cook or imitate her style. Nothing else is better than Mak’s.Sometimes, the child in me felt like protesting. I wanted to play mercun with Ateh. One night, many Ramadhan ago, I defied arahan Mak and went out to play. As I was coming home, I tripped over a big batu on the road and injured my leg. Until today, I still bear the huge scar on my right knee. It is ugly and there’s nothing I can do about it but it is also served as a reminder to me.
Gosh! There’s so much to recall and write about home. Words don’t come as easily to me. And some things made me really sad and I weep as I remember them.
Oh ibu,
Kau disiram bayu pagi
Kehilangan terasa kini
Dan kesepian
Dan aku bagai purnama gerhana
Di ibarat lautan kering
Tiada tempat kulayarkan
Hasratku ini
Masih belum sempat
Ku buktikannya kepadamu
Ibu tersayang
Ku curahkan rahsia hati
Ku tatapi potret mu berulang kali
Ku renungkan kalimah yg diberi
Tuhan yang Esa
Ampuni dosa ibu
Tempatkan mereka
Di antara kekasih-kekasih mu
Oh ibu
Kau kasih sejati
Ku taburkan doa
Untukmu ibu
Ampunilah dosa ku
Sejak ku dilahirkan
Hingga akhir hayatmu
Di saat ini ku teruskan hidup
Tanpa bersama mu ibu
Kini aku
Hilang tempat mengadu
Oh ibu
Damailah engkau di sana
Kutaburi doa mewangi
Hanya dari anakmu
Ibu
This Ramadhan is just going to be like the previous ones. Life has become quiet and less lively. Last puasa, I spent time in London and went walking down River Thames on first day of raya. I didn’t know anybody here and I wasn’t ready to get to know anybody.
When Mak was around, bulan puasa was the most anticipated time of the year. I enjoyed going home although I was only away from home 3 Ramadhans before she passed away.
Usually, one month before puasa, she would always go to a place called Tandop or Seberang Perak, looking for chicks. She would buy 30 ekor anak ayam for Ateh to bela and jaga in time for Ramadhan. As we start puasa, Bapak and Ateh would sembelih the ayams every other day. Sometimes, Ateh and I went running around the backyard chasing and trying to catch the chickens. Everyday was a feast. I remember everytime we were having ayam percik, I was entrusted as the tukang panggang. Oh how I loved it especially when I cannot puasa. Mak has a special recipe for marinating them, which I am now trying to master the way she did it with the right amount of the ingredients.
In our house, we never buy any food from the bazaar. Mak always cooked. She has a passion for food. Mak liked to get everything ready quite early. By 3 p.m., she would start mixing ingredients, be it cucurq udang, karipap, sfera, cucurq keria etc etc. If I feel like eating something, I need only to say it and she would make them for me. She knew I loved mee rebus, (not to be confused with mee bandung or mee kari, mee rebus is different and normally known to DKK) and when I come home from college, she would make sure I had my favorites on the table the first day I was home.
Throughout Ramadhan, I became her ever faithful assistant. I remember sometimes there were days when I sulked because the day was hot and all I wanted to do was lying around and doing nothing. Now, I realized that that were the quality times I spent with her. Nothing could ever take the memories away from me as they are so precious and close to my heart. I spent so much times with her at home that there were so much of her knowledge passed down to me, of which I need to carefully recall as I had subconsciously buried them.
She used to make cendul from scratch. I don’t know what she put in the mixture but I remember she mixed flour with air daun pandan to get the color green. She had this periuk that had lots of lubang. I think it was Bapak who punched the lubang with his nails and hammer. Once the thick mixture was ready, she would pour into the periuk. Underneath the periuk was a bucket of cold water. She would use batang anak pokok pisang to stir and press in the periuk. The mixture that plopped down through the lubang was hardened by the cold water to become isi cendul that was far better than the ones sold at the bazaar.
We are lucky because I think we were spoilt food-wise. Mak always preferred to prepare homemade food rather than buying. We had the best, all natural and free of any artificials. Gone were those days.
In the late afternoon, after all the food was ready, Mak would fill several plates to give away to the neighbors. She always made extra. I liked it when I bring them over to each house. The anticipation to find out what the neighbors would give back. It wasn’t that we expect them to return our gestures but it was just a matter of courtesy. The waiting and game guessing of who made what was fun for me and Ateh. I hardly came home empty handed.
When we break fast, we never ever eat rice first. In fact we hardly had rice. Normally, it would be meehoon, mee etc. Nasi was only for soq (sahur) only. We would only have drink, a few bites of the cucurq and dates and off we go for a prayer. After prayer, we would then resume dinner. The first Ramadhan I was away from home, I cried buckets on the phone to Mak. I missed home terribly, yet I was only in Shah Alam and already 18!
I loved the time when it was getting close to raya. She always had people ordering baulu from her. She made the best baulu in the kampung, only RM10 for 100 pieces. When I was very little, I liked eating the burned baulu so she kept them for me. At least, they were not wasted. As I grew up, I became quite picky and I didn’t want them anymore. I went for the golden fluffy, which are supposed to be sold to the customers. So, she told me off and made me make my own baulu. At 6 a.m., she would prepare ingredients ie eggs and sugar using her Moulinex. This would go on forever until she finished all 30 or 50 eggs for the day.
In the meantime, as the first batch of eggs and sugar was well beaten, she would add the flour and mix them slowly. I had to learn how much to put in the acuan, too much it would balloon up, too little it would look like my hidung penyek. The baulu was baked not in an oven but in a primitive way with dapur minyak tanah, claypot and bara sabut. I learnt that in the claypot, sands and wet papers were used as a shield or barrier to prevent the api from baking the bottom part of baulu faster that the upper part. Oh, I am confusing myself, but as long as I can visualize this, I think I am still ok.
2 weeks before raya, we would start our cookies sessions. Mak and I loved baking cakes and cookies and we liked to try many new recipes. This reminds me that I will have to do a thorough search for her thick recipe books. We never buy biskut raya when Mak was still alive. No way Jose! The must have biskut raya were samperit, biskut makmur, cornflakes (our own style – I’ve never seen it at any other house except at Wa’s) and baulu. The rest of the biskut raya were trial and error. At one raya, between the two of us, we made about 20 odd types of biskut and 6 different cakes. Excuse me, but we all had different tastes and not willing to sacrifice our cakes. Moist choc cake for me, fruit cake for Bapak, marble cake for Mak, kek lapis for Aci, orange for Na and kek batik for Ateh. Phewww!
As we get closer to raya, there were the ketupat to do. Mak made the ketupat palas as well as ketupat nasi because Javaman is orang Johor. I was forced to learn menganyam daun kelapa, but I do enjoy making ketupat palas. It’s one of the skills I haven’t forgotten.
In a way, I guess I am anak Mak. I will always try to cook or imitate her style. Nothing else is better than Mak’s.Sometimes, the child in me felt like protesting. I wanted to play mercun with Ateh. One night, many Ramadhan ago, I defied arahan Mak and went out to play. As I was coming home, I tripped over a big batu on the road and injured my leg. Until today, I still bear the huge scar on my right knee. It is ugly and there’s nothing I can do about it but it is also served as a reminder to me.
Gosh! There’s so much to recall and write about home. Words don’t come as easily to me. And some things made me really sad and I weep as I remember them.
Oh ibu,
Kau disiram bayu pagi
Kehilangan terasa kini
Dan kesepian
Dan aku bagai purnama gerhana
Di ibarat lautan kering
Tiada tempat kulayarkan
Hasratku ini
Masih belum sempat
Ku buktikannya kepadamu
Ibu tersayang
Ku curahkan rahsia hati
Ku tatapi potret mu berulang kali
Ku renungkan kalimah yg diberi
Tuhan yang Esa
Ampuni dosa ibu
Tempatkan mereka
Di antara kekasih-kekasih mu
Oh ibu
Kau kasih sejati
Ku taburkan doa
Untukmu ibu
Ampunilah dosa ku
Sejak ku dilahirkan
Hingga akhir hayatmu
Di saat ini ku teruskan hidup
Tanpa bersama mu ibu
Kini aku
Hilang tempat mengadu
Oh ibu
Damailah engkau di sana
Kutaburi doa mewangi
Hanya dari anakmu
Ibu
Sunday, 2 October 2005
The Boy will sit for his PMR this week. I think dah berbuih mulut Aci and Javaman bising at him, suruh study.
If he failed his Arab, they will kick him out of the maktab.
Boys... why are they just lazy? Bila tanya, dia buat buat bz study. Konon.
Good luck, boy. Many more tests coming your way soon. A sign that you are now growing up and becoming a man.
May you be a good one.
If he failed his Arab, they will kick him out of the maktab.
Boys... why are they just lazy? Bila tanya, dia buat buat bz study. Konon.
Good luck, boy. Many more tests coming your way soon. A sign that you are now growing up and becoming a man.
May you be a good one.
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