The lesbian in me

In October 2003, I went backpacking in Central Europe. It was one of the best times in my life, for I felt so free and uninhibited. Amsterdam is one of the many cities on my travel itinerary. Boy! I tell you, it is a bloody damn expensive city but a wonderful place, nonetheless.

Travelling alone, I had the flexibility of changing plan as often as I wish. As I walked all over downtown, I came across this little hut that sell lots of touristy stuffs and gay souvenirs. Goody, I thought to myself. I could get something for my gay friends. After I belek here and belek there, I decided to get a couple of postcards, a miniature of gay men kissing and a guide to gay nightlife in Amsterdam.

The hut keeper and I started talking about the guidebook and he was so helpful by pointing out to me the location of some of the best gay clubs in the city. Assuming that I was a lesbian, he asked me how difficult was it to come out from the closet in a country like Malaysia. Gobsmacked! I thought it was quite funny and I can’t stop smiling, but somehow I managed to tell him that it was quite difficult to be a lesbian in our society.

Though I can’t say what it’s like to be gay since I’m not a full blown one, I imagine it is rather hard for them to come out. I have two friends who are so much in love with each other but they can’t come out and be themselves, knowing what awaits them. All the humiliations, punishments and titles society will bestow upon them. It is rather sad. Not everybody is like you and me, who can accept gay people for who they are.

Last night before falling asleep, I have this thought playing hide and seek in my head.

If I were a lesbian, I would like to shag Rebecca Gillis a.k.a Jacinda Barret. She is a gorgeous chick with innocent look and serene poise. Who is she? Check out the lesbian chick in Bridget Jones 2. I think she has small breasts but what the heck; it is not the end of the world. I wonder what it is like to kiss her. If I were Bridget, I would dump Mark Darcy on the spot.