- If you can’t access the site, you have a minor freak out - and a major case of hitting reload.
- You found yourself composing journal entries during dates, movies, driving, dinner, etc.
When you’re out, you suddenly think of a witty reply to a comment somebody made to you… several days ago. - You’ve downloaded some sort of program which has only the purpose of making entries easier to write without going on the site manually.
- You consider it a great offense if someone deletes you off their friend’s list.
- The first thing you do every day when you go online is check your friends journals - even before checking your email.
- When your friends ask what’s new, you get mad at them because you already wrote it in your blog and they didn’t check it yet.
- You can’t seem to call your friends by their real names.
- You have written posts to notify people you’re going to sleep.
- You talk about your blog friends to your real life friends all the time… like they’re a part of your group.
- You’ve created a blog community, and people actually post in it.
- You’ve been recognized in real life by fellow bloggers.
- Instead of doing research, you post difficult questions on your blog.
- You’ve stopped being friends with someone in real life because of something they’ve said on their blog.
- You have consoled yourself after a horrible day thinking “At least this will make a great post”
- You’re jealous of people who have more friends and/or comments than you.
- You have written a really great, solid post - only to be disappointed by the lack of good comments.
- You’re guilty of commenting excessively to get more traffic to your blog.
- You give shout outs to all your blog friends on their birthdays.
- You have an additional, secret journal that hardly anyone knows about.
- You have gotten mean anonymous comments and you can figure out who it was via their IP.
- You have more blog friends than real life friends.
- You're blogging in your head before you fall asleep.
- Your out of town husband and you converse in your blog's comments.
- You tell your friends and family things like, "I'll ping you and you ping me back," or "Okay, I want to trackback on your last comment..."
- You blog in your head an event that's happening at that very moment!
- You actually take the time to figure out how to set up Active Desktop in Windows just so that you can make your Bloglines MyBlogs page your Windows background.
- And then you actually leave it that way because you like it... and you make that your browser home page.
- You check your journal more than 10 times a day, or even 10 times an hour.
- You have more Journal Comment Alerts in your mailbox than spam.
- Your best friends have screen names and URLs instead of real names and street addresses.
- You log down the number on your hit counter before you sign off at night and check it first thing in the morning. You record these numbers for future reference.
- You have actually been late for work because you were reading your favorite journals.
- You family has to leave a comment on your journal to get your attention.
- You turn the volume up when you walk away from the computer so you can hear when the alert alarm sounds.
- Being the #1 Editor's Pick is more important to you then winning a Pulitzer Prize.
- You do the blog quizzes and post the results for everyone to see.
- You have been tagged for a meme, played along and later on you tag other bloggers.
- You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are blog addicts.
Saturday, 1 October 2005
It's October. The countdown to a closure.
You know you're addicted to blogging if:
Wednesday, 28 September 2005
Not til she's ready
Last night, two people couldn't sleep, so they hang out in the living room. One was so engrossed with her computer while the other was just staring into the empty space.
"You said you were lonely," the person broke the ice.
"I was," she said.
"But don't you think you made yourself feel that way? Why don't you go out? Join a class or something." The person was judging her.
"I was busy, but I was also lonely."
"You were busy then, but now you can do something. All I see was you sitting in front of the computer."
"You wouldn't understand. I kept myself busy with work but, sometimes, that didn't cure my loneliness. I found friends through my computer when you weren't around. Now that you're here, don't expect me to leave my computer and entertain you. You know, dance or swimming classes require commitment, something I don't have during this limited time I have left."
Both of them remained quiet. The person, then, retired to bed.
She couldn't - wouldn't- be pressured by people she hardly knew to make decision that involved her life. She knows she's lost. She's lazy, perhaps. But no one can tell her what to do, not until she's ready to push herself.
No, there was only one person she could completely trust and depend on, and that was herself. Even if others meant well, she has to learn from her own mistakes.
She realized that years ago when she'd known the pain of loss, the fear of desertion and failure.It's foolish to worry about it. This feeling. It appeals as much as it frightens. It tempted her to daydream, and she'd almost given up on fantasies.
Not yet.
"You said you were lonely," the person broke the ice.
"I was," she said.
"But don't you think you made yourself feel that way? Why don't you go out? Join a class or something." The person was judging her.
"I was busy, but I was also lonely."
"You were busy then, but now you can do something. All I see was you sitting in front of the computer."
"You wouldn't understand. I kept myself busy with work but, sometimes, that didn't cure my loneliness. I found friends through my computer when you weren't around. Now that you're here, don't expect me to leave my computer and entertain you. You know, dance or swimming classes require commitment, something I don't have during this limited time I have left."
Both of them remained quiet. The person, then, retired to bed.
She couldn't - wouldn't- be pressured by people she hardly knew to make decision that involved her life. She knows she's lost. She's lazy, perhaps. But no one can tell her what to do, not until she's ready to push herself.
No, there was only one person she could completely trust and depend on, and that was herself. Even if others meant well, she has to learn from her own mistakes.
She realized that years ago when she'd known the pain of loss, the fear of desertion and failure.It's foolish to worry about it. This feeling. It appeals as much as it frightens. It tempted her to daydream, and she'd almost given up on fantasies.
Not yet.
Sunday, 25 September 2005
labu on a sunday
Hari ni, labu penat dan sakit badan. Bangun tidorq pun matahari dah tegak. Lepaih tu, dok melangut tak tau nak buat apa.
Semalam, apa mimpi tah, manusia2 yang buat labu sakit hati tu masak and served dinner untuk labu. Hmmm... nak ambik hati lah tu. Peeeraaahh!
Depa ajak labu pi mengedik kat The Sports Cafe. Ohhh... labu kalau pasai bab bab menari ni ok saja. The last time labu pi sana dj dia main lagu bukan main best lagi, so tu lah tak lepaih chan kali ni.
Dari pukui 12 sampai pukui 3 pagi. Lembek kaki. Bas nak balik ghumah pulak on diversion, jenuh berjalan kaki. Last last taxi jugak lah jawabnya.
Tapi labu rasa berbangga dengan diri sendiri. Sebab all the time dok berdisko, labu minum oren jus saja without vodka and tak isap rokok pon. In fact dah dekat 6 bulan dah tak buat benda benda tu. Alhamdulillah.
La ni, kena pi cari makan. Laparq nya bukan main lagi. Mawar, tunggu labu nak pi makan kat sana nooo.
Semalam, apa mimpi tah, manusia2 yang buat labu sakit hati tu masak and served dinner untuk labu. Hmmm... nak ambik hati lah tu. Peeeraaahh!
Depa ajak labu pi mengedik kat The Sports Cafe. Ohhh... labu kalau pasai bab bab menari ni ok saja. The last time labu pi sana dj dia main lagu bukan main best lagi, so tu lah tak lepaih chan kali ni.
Dari pukui 12 sampai pukui 3 pagi. Lembek kaki. Bas nak balik ghumah pulak on diversion, jenuh berjalan kaki. Last last taxi jugak lah jawabnya.
Tapi labu rasa berbangga dengan diri sendiri. Sebab all the time dok berdisko, labu minum oren jus saja without vodka and tak isap rokok pon. In fact dah dekat 6 bulan dah tak buat benda benda tu. Alhamdulillah.
La ni, kena pi cari makan. Laparq nya bukan main lagi. Mawar, tunggu labu nak pi makan kat sana nooo.
Friday, 23 September 2005
kisah si labu
Hari ni aku nak lepas geram.
Semalam bila aku balik keje, aku tengok ada orang kat rumah ni guna laptop aku lagi. Dah la tu, siap masuk baca blog aku and tinggal komen pulak tu. Ceh... tah tah dia ada baca bout beberapa entries aku dok mengutuk dia sebelum ni.
Nasib ko lah labu.Tapi, ni lah satu bende yang aku tak gemar. Harta aku dah dibuat macam harta sendiri pulak. Banyak cantik?!!!
Aku ni consider tak kedekut lah, sebab bila depa nak guna or pinjam apa-apa barang, aku mesti bagi punya. Dengan syarat, tanya lah dulu kan.
Sejak dua menjak ni, ada lah sorang kawan si Kfiatek ni mai dok menumpang kat rumah kami. Aku kenal minah ni, so bila dia mintak nak guna laptop sebab nak hantar cv, aku bagi lah. Aku offer jugak kalau nak guna hp aku sebab talk plan aku tu free to mana mana networks pun.
Pompuan ni kan, bagi betis dia nak paha pulak. Eessh.. tak boleh nak buat baik sikit, mesti adeee je orang nak pijak kepala. Ni yang aku tak tahan ni.
Aku paling geram betul lah time aku dok guna lappy, dia mai menempek kat sebelah aku dok tengok apa aku buat. Aku pelempang sekali kang baru tau! Aku punya suka lah nak buat apa pun, chat ka blog ka. Harta aku!
Tah apa tah depa buat dengan lappy aku ni, semalam tak leh nak open satu hapa ke benda program pun. Nak switch off pun tak boleh. Kalau ikutkan hati aku yg tengah hangat time tu, aku maki depa, tapi aku ni tak reti. Bodoh! Tu lah pasal aku jugak yang kena pomen sendiri after bergayut berjam-jam dengan mamat kat pc helpline.
Satu hal lagi ni pasai blog and bloggers' attitude.Kalau nak ikutkan, blog is tempat nak melepas geram, nak merapu, nak buat biskut, nak mandi bogel. Ikut suka hati hang lah apa hang nak tulis. Broken english, manglish, bob marley-ish, lantak ler. After all, masa aku dan hang beranak dulu lidah mak kita bukan lidah omputih pun.
Tapi yang tak syoknya, bila ada pulak bloggers yang jeles dengan other bloggers. Apahal? Ada orang tanya aku, pehal dina blog kat sini. Awat? Tak boleh ka? Aku nak tulis apa pun, aku nak invite sesapa pun, aku punya blog, hangpa peduli apa! Kadang-kadang tu pasai link mengelink pun boleh jadi hal (sigh)
Tengok gaya, bloggers ni ramai jugak yang 3 suku, macam aku jugak lah kan. Nak buat cam mana, semuanya repressed. Perangai kat luarq tu lain, kat blog lain. Yang macam hantu pun ada, yang macam jemuan pun ada.
Entah lah labu, apa nak jadi pun aku tak tau.
Aku ni dah duduk serumah dengan bermacam macam jenis org dah. Italian, Hungarian, Brazillian, Polish, Eritrean, Portugese etc etc. Dari permerhatian aku lah, antara depa ramai-ramai, orang yang mai dari poland ni aku consider paling kedekut.
Sebenarnya aku rasa depa tak lah teruk sangat. Depa ni rajin and memang kuat keje cuma kadang-kadang tu aku rasa meyampah sebab depa ni berkira sangat sampai ke last penny. Kalau boleh semuanya nak free je. Malas dah aku nak bersocialise dengan depa ni.
Lebih baik hidup sendiri. Alaa... nanti mati pun sorang jugak.Sigh.
Apa la hang merapu, labu?
Semalam bila aku balik keje, aku tengok ada orang kat rumah ni guna laptop aku lagi. Dah la tu, siap masuk baca blog aku and tinggal komen pulak tu. Ceh... tah tah dia ada baca bout beberapa entries aku dok mengutuk dia sebelum ni.
Nasib ko lah labu.Tapi, ni lah satu bende yang aku tak gemar. Harta aku dah dibuat macam harta sendiri pulak. Banyak cantik?!!!
Aku ni consider tak kedekut lah, sebab bila depa nak guna or pinjam apa-apa barang, aku mesti bagi punya. Dengan syarat, tanya lah dulu kan.
Sejak dua menjak ni, ada lah sorang kawan si Kfiatek ni mai dok menumpang kat rumah kami. Aku kenal minah ni, so bila dia mintak nak guna laptop sebab nak hantar cv, aku bagi lah. Aku offer jugak kalau nak guna hp aku sebab talk plan aku tu free to mana mana networks pun.
Pompuan ni kan, bagi betis dia nak paha pulak. Eessh.. tak boleh nak buat baik sikit, mesti adeee je orang nak pijak kepala. Ni yang aku tak tahan ni.
Aku paling geram betul lah time aku dok guna lappy, dia mai menempek kat sebelah aku dok tengok apa aku buat. Aku pelempang sekali kang baru tau! Aku punya suka lah nak buat apa pun, chat ka blog ka. Harta aku!
Tah apa tah depa buat dengan lappy aku ni, semalam tak leh nak open satu hapa ke benda program pun. Nak switch off pun tak boleh. Kalau ikutkan hati aku yg tengah hangat time tu, aku maki depa, tapi aku ni tak reti. Bodoh! Tu lah pasal aku jugak yang kena pomen sendiri after bergayut berjam-jam dengan mamat kat pc helpline.
Satu hal lagi ni pasai blog and bloggers' attitude.Kalau nak ikutkan, blog is tempat nak melepas geram, nak merapu, nak buat biskut, nak mandi bogel. Ikut suka hati hang lah apa hang nak tulis. Broken english, manglish, bob marley-ish, lantak ler. After all, masa aku dan hang beranak dulu lidah mak kita bukan lidah omputih pun.
Tapi yang tak syoknya, bila ada pulak bloggers yang jeles dengan other bloggers. Apahal? Ada orang tanya aku, pehal dina blog kat sini. Awat? Tak boleh ka? Aku nak tulis apa pun, aku nak invite sesapa pun, aku punya blog, hangpa peduli apa! Kadang-kadang tu pasai link mengelink pun boleh jadi hal (sigh)
Tengok gaya, bloggers ni ramai jugak yang 3 suku, macam aku jugak lah kan. Nak buat cam mana, semuanya repressed. Perangai kat luarq tu lain, kat blog lain. Yang macam hantu pun ada, yang macam jemuan pun ada.
Entah lah labu, apa nak jadi pun aku tak tau.
Aku ni dah duduk serumah dengan bermacam macam jenis org dah. Italian, Hungarian, Brazillian, Polish, Eritrean, Portugese etc etc. Dari permerhatian aku lah, antara depa ramai-ramai, orang yang mai dari poland ni aku consider paling kedekut.
Sebenarnya aku rasa depa tak lah teruk sangat. Depa ni rajin and memang kuat keje cuma kadang-kadang tu aku rasa meyampah sebab depa ni berkira sangat sampai ke last penny. Kalau boleh semuanya nak free je. Malas dah aku nak bersocialise dengan depa ni.
Lebih baik hidup sendiri. Alaa... nanti mati pun sorang jugak.Sigh.
Apa la hang merapu, labu?
Wednesday, 21 September 2005
Sometimes, I don't get it.
Malaysians are obsessed with branded things. Ok I admit I was guilty of the same crime long time ago. I remember my time in the States. We bought DKNY, Nine West and errr... honestly that's all I remember. Opss.. there's more. My cousins told me to buy Correlle, Mikasa bla bla bla. I was influenced.
When I look back, I feel sooo stupid.In April, when my sister was here, we went to meet a few of her friends scattered in the UK. What tickles me was that every one of them wants to bring back a beemer or merc. They work like mad, because that's their aim. Driving a beemer shows the kind of status one acquired.
Once in a while, someone whispered to me, 'cari duit banyak-banyak and then bila balik bawak la mercedes satu.' Hello? You think I'm like you izzit? I only want Toyota RAV4, hehe, but living the life of a pauper, there's no way I can pay road tax and insurance. But sometimes orang ni hold on to the pepatah, biar papa asal bergaya.
It's the same with shoes. I wear Nike because it's comfortable, pasar malam punya pun I tibai je, but I recalled a few incidents where I heard 'it's Nike, babe, NIKE.'
So what? Bapak ko punya kilang ke?
The one thing I dread is when I go home people will ask about my job. 'Keje apa?' Eksekutip ke? Tak. Keje kutip sampah je. Huurrghhh..Ok.
Now that I got that out of my system, I can go back to my rubbish truck.
When I look back, I feel sooo stupid.In April, when my sister was here, we went to meet a few of her friends scattered in the UK. What tickles me was that every one of them wants to bring back a beemer or merc. They work like mad, because that's their aim. Driving a beemer shows the kind of status one acquired.
Once in a while, someone whispered to me, 'cari duit banyak-banyak and then bila balik bawak la mercedes satu.' Hello? You think I'm like you izzit? I only want Toyota RAV4, hehe, but living the life of a pauper, there's no way I can pay road tax and insurance. But sometimes orang ni hold on to the pepatah, biar papa asal bergaya.
It's the same with shoes. I wear Nike because it's comfortable, pasar malam punya pun I tibai je, but I recalled a few incidents where I heard 'it's Nike, babe, NIKE.'
So what? Bapak ko punya kilang ke?
The one thing I dread is when I go home people will ask about my job. 'Keje apa?' Eksekutip ke? Tak. Keje kutip sampah je. Huurrghhh..Ok.
Now that I got that out of my system, I can go back to my rubbish truck.
Monday, 19 September 2005
end of blog life
I’ve been thinking of shutting the blog down for quite some times now. I know, I know, some of you who occasionally read it might care.
I started the blog because I was lonely. How, you might ask, with all the things happening in London? Well, you wouldn't understand it. I came here looking for something that weren't there. And I felt lonely during the process because that's the truth. I am here all alone. Thanks to OJ, I found blog and the rest is history.
In the last few weeks, I don’t feel inspired, anymore. I don’t feel like I want to write, anymore. Ah well. I’ve run out of things to say. It’s kinda funny because I hardly have a lot of things to begin with. I was feeling frustrated with my writing, as you know I'm not really a writer, a blogger yes, but a real writer no, and so I was feeling like I was running out of ideas, and I was putting a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to be more witty and lighthearted with my posts, but to be honest, everything I wrote felt forced and insincere.
As you get to know me, I feel that sometimes I have to censor myself from writing an honest entry. Also, I think I had revealed many stories about my family more than I realized. I guess it’s time to take a back seat and be quiet.
I haven’t had this site for long. In fact, on Oct 21st, it’s going to be one year old. I will be home for my long holidays and probably won't have enough time for this site. Initially, I didn’t think I would last this long. The thing is blogging has taken so much of my time. Precious time that I could have spent doing something else. It’s like sleep blog, eat blog, everything blog.
It’s great while it lasts but I think I had enough.From blogging alone to having a guest blogger, I had enjoy this so much. It’s kinda sad too because through this blog, I made new friends and met wonderful people. I have also found family connection and long lost friends who stumbled upon my blog.
I have voiced my frustration to Lil Ms D a lot of times and we both agreed that this blog will cease to exist on its birthday. It's just a matter of finding the right time. Dinsy, you are a great source of inspirations. Love you to bits. But what has to be done has to be done. Thank you for coming on board and sharing this space with me. Your friendship is something I treasure. Never in a million years had I thought this could happen. You have the heart of an angel and I am honoured, you know.
Truthfully, I am grateful for the friendships offered and created over the months. I can never thank you enough for all comments. You guys have enough patience to read awful lots of stupid rants and have helped me during my darkest moods. To some of you, I apologize for not visiting your blogs often in the last few weeks. There are too many blogs to read but too little time.
Maybe one day, you may accidently find my new blog as I embark on another adventure, which is what I am trying to do. I am not giving any hints but who knows, kan? In the meantime, all I want to say is, so long, farewell.
I started the blog because I was lonely. How, you might ask, with all the things happening in London? Well, you wouldn't understand it. I came here looking for something that weren't there. And I felt lonely during the process because that's the truth. I am here all alone. Thanks to OJ, I found blog and the rest is history.
In the last few weeks, I don’t feel inspired, anymore. I don’t feel like I want to write, anymore. Ah well. I’ve run out of things to say. It’s kinda funny because I hardly have a lot of things to begin with. I was feeling frustrated with my writing, as you know I'm not really a writer, a blogger yes, but a real writer no, and so I was feeling like I was running out of ideas, and I was putting a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to be more witty and lighthearted with my posts, but to be honest, everything I wrote felt forced and insincere.
As you get to know me, I feel that sometimes I have to censor myself from writing an honest entry. Also, I think I had revealed many stories about my family more than I realized. I guess it’s time to take a back seat and be quiet.
I haven’t had this site for long. In fact, on Oct 21st, it’s going to be one year old. I will be home for my long holidays and probably won't have enough time for this site. Initially, I didn’t think I would last this long. The thing is blogging has taken so much of my time. Precious time that I could have spent doing something else. It’s like sleep blog, eat blog, everything blog.
It’s great while it lasts but I think I had enough.From blogging alone to having a guest blogger, I had enjoy this so much. It’s kinda sad too because through this blog, I made new friends and met wonderful people. I have also found family connection and long lost friends who stumbled upon my blog.
I have voiced my frustration to Lil Ms D a lot of times and we both agreed that this blog will cease to exist on its birthday. It's just a matter of finding the right time. Dinsy, you are a great source of inspirations. Love you to bits. But what has to be done has to be done. Thank you for coming on board and sharing this space with me. Your friendship is something I treasure. Never in a million years had I thought this could happen. You have the heart of an angel and I am honoured, you know.
Truthfully, I am grateful for the friendships offered and created over the months. I can never thank you enough for all comments. You guys have enough patience to read awful lots of stupid rants and have helped me during my darkest moods. To some of you, I apologize for not visiting your blogs often in the last few weeks. There are too many blogs to read but too little time.
Maybe one day, you may accidently find my new blog as I embark on another adventure, which is what I am trying to do. I am not giving any hints but who knows, kan? In the meantime, all I want to say is, so long, farewell.
Tuesday, 30 August 2005
Notting Hill Carnival
I'm dead tired. Went with Maury and spent 5 hours wiggling and jiggling with the crowd, and I tried some of the Carribean food. There were loads of other food stalls and I even found M'sians selling karipap, satay, murtabak and pergedil. Not really tempted, sowwee.The song Nookie, proves to be the favorite to be played over and over by every group that took part.Huaaaarghh... soooo penat. Hafta sleep now. Just gonna let the pictures do the talking.
Tuesday, 23 August 2005
not for the underage
Words on the street: Textual Intercourse
You know what can work wonders for burgeoning realtionships? Of course, a well-formed, sexy text message now known as textual intercourse.
It's the bawdy banter that buzzes from your mobile to his or hers and back again after the first date. I'm sure you're creative enough to write saucy messages, which can go from 'had a gr8 nite wen can i c u agn?' to 'hv to mk passionate luv 2 u nw.'
A good text sex can bring you as close to orgasm as the real thing, although it does help if you have your phone on vibrate ;) Think of it as sex without the awkwardness or troublesome logistics of actual bodies.
You might be wondering what to write and what should be omitted in textual intercourse. I'd say anything goes, and you'll find yourself texting much dirtier words than you dare talking when you meet face to face.
For an added thrill, if I may suggest as most of mobile users are on pay-as-you-go or prepaid, make it to the climatic final message before your credit runs out. See whether it is as orgasmic as you think.
Two things you need to remember in textual intercourse. First, be sure to remove your mum's or dad's mobile number from speed dial. Fingers can slip in the heat of the moment. Second, take your phone off predictive text, or your randy recipient will wonder why you want to kick her puppy.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
You know what can work wonders for burgeoning realtionships? Of course, a well-formed, sexy text message now known as textual intercourse.
It's the bawdy banter that buzzes from your mobile to his or hers and back again after the first date. I'm sure you're creative enough to write saucy messages, which can go from 'had a gr8 nite wen can i c u agn?' to 'hv to mk passionate luv 2 u nw.'
A good text sex can bring you as close to orgasm as the real thing, although it does help if you have your phone on vibrate ;) Think of it as sex without the awkwardness or troublesome logistics of actual bodies.
You might be wondering what to write and what should be omitted in textual intercourse. I'd say anything goes, and you'll find yourself texting much dirtier words than you dare talking when you meet face to face.
For an added thrill, if I may suggest as most of mobile users are on pay-as-you-go or prepaid, make it to the climatic final message before your credit runs out. See whether it is as orgasmic as you think.
Two things you need to remember in textual intercourse. First, be sure to remove your mum's or dad's mobile number from speed dial. Fingers can slip in the heat of the moment. Second, take your phone off predictive text, or your randy recipient will wonder why you want to kick her puppy.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Sunday, 21 August 2005
childhood mischief
Do you remember our childhood times when we ruled the neighborhood? You taught me how to main laga ayam, though you were always on the other side of the ring.You took me with you looking for some ikan laga. After we found them, you'd find two empty balang Nescafe, put water and each ikan in a different balang and let them fight.
Do you remember our fun moments in the bendang? When it was time for air pasang, we would prepare our fishing rods. You made them from bamboo and always have extra kail for me just in case I lost mine. Under the heated sun, we just ignored mak's advice and went fishing in the sawah. I loved it when we caught ikan sepat, puyu, keli and haruan. Do you know that I loved puyu goreng?
Before the menuai padi time, you would take me along to catch belalang kuning. To grill and eat them, you said. I can't remember how it tasted like but I remember munching them. They were very crunchy.
Almost every evening, you and mother would teach me how to make and blow the seruling made from batang pokok padi. And after the padi has been harvested, we would play wau in the field. You taught me how to make kites from bamboo and papers. Everyone would be jealous of me for flying the highest wau because you put extra long string to mine.
Do you remember the time when mother used to tell father to take pictures of us together? We would sit next to each other, with a clip in my hair and you and me donning a similar Donnie and Marie t-shirts. Me in white and you in blue. There was a time when we were dressed up wearing a kimono because pakcik just came back from Japan. I felt like I was a real Japanese, only with big eyes.
Do you remember how you made me a senapang from wood when you and friends were playing tembak-tembak? I didn't want to be left out so you carved me one and went looking for batang pokok bemban to use as bullets.
What about that time when our house and the rest of the state had the worst flood? First you went looking for pokok pisang to make a rakit, but the two of us were too heavy for the small rakit. Then, you found tongs and tied them to a piece of wood to make a floating bridge. We look so cool on it because no one else had one like that. We went fishing, I think.
The bendang looked just like a sea and I fell into the water. Remember how I screamed and woke the neighbors when I saw 3 ekor lintah on my thighs? You came rushing to my rescue and squashed them dead while laughing at me.
When we came back from school, you would carry me on basikal mini to go to the madrasah for our mengaji time. You used to tease that you would let me to walk home, but you never did.You always have a soft spot for ayams and duckies. I came back from school to find that my little duckie had died, but you provided comfort in making sure that it had a proper burial place.
During raya, you were the culprit to buy all sorts of mercun. You and I would sit for hours in your room fixing things up and making them more exciting. Remember the time when a mercun katak jumped into bapak's kain pelekat and he had to londeh his kain? It was funny, innit? I loved the fact that our house was so bright and cheerful because you made the effort to prepare the pelita and more.
Hey, what about the time musim buah pelam? We had so many different pokok pelam all around the house. We had pelam epal, pelam isi putih, kuinin and a few others that I do not remember their names anymore. Mak and I used to hold a kain batik so that when you kait the buah, all of them would fall into the kain. My favorite was buah kuinin.
Do you remember I like to eat daun pokok jambu bola? Nobody ever heard or saw striped jambu bola before but I remember quite well that the young leaves were very tasty just like the jambu. I wonder if the species of jambu is no longer known to humankind. Now that I am older, I wish we didn't cut down all the trees around our house. It's a shame.
Although, we were quite close, I admit that I used to envy you. It was obvious that mak always preferred you. I was jealous that I stooped so slow and threw a brick at your head. You had seven stiches and I got caned. You were always in the good book with mak and you could never do wrong in her eyes. I didn't understand it until later.
Back then, we always did things together. Maybe because we are the only two left at home, and we didn't have a lot of friends. Do you know how much I miss that time? Ateh, do you know how much I want to tell you that you are a great abang? I wanna cry thinking of those things that the younger ones would never experience. At least, I had great childhood memories and someone to share with.
Do you remember our fun moments in the bendang? When it was time for air pasang, we would prepare our fishing rods. You made them from bamboo and always have extra kail for me just in case I lost mine. Under the heated sun, we just ignored mak's advice and went fishing in the sawah. I loved it when we caught ikan sepat, puyu, keli and haruan. Do you know that I loved puyu goreng?
Before the menuai padi time, you would take me along to catch belalang kuning. To grill and eat them, you said. I can't remember how it tasted like but I remember munching them. They were very crunchy.
Almost every evening, you and mother would teach me how to make and blow the seruling made from batang pokok padi. And after the padi has been harvested, we would play wau in the field. You taught me how to make kites from bamboo and papers. Everyone would be jealous of me for flying the highest wau because you put extra long string to mine.
Do you remember the time when mother used to tell father to take pictures of us together? We would sit next to each other, with a clip in my hair and you and me donning a similar Donnie and Marie t-shirts. Me in white and you in blue. There was a time when we were dressed up wearing a kimono because pakcik just came back from Japan. I felt like I was a real Japanese, only with big eyes.
Do you remember how you made me a senapang from wood when you and friends were playing tembak-tembak? I didn't want to be left out so you carved me one and went looking for batang pokok bemban to use as bullets.
What about that time when our house and the rest of the state had the worst flood? First you went looking for pokok pisang to make a rakit, but the two of us were too heavy for the small rakit. Then, you found tongs and tied them to a piece of wood to make a floating bridge. We look so cool on it because no one else had one like that. We went fishing, I think.
The bendang looked just like a sea and I fell into the water. Remember how I screamed and woke the neighbors when I saw 3 ekor lintah on my thighs? You came rushing to my rescue and squashed them dead while laughing at me.
When we came back from school, you would carry me on basikal mini to go to the madrasah for our mengaji time. You used to tease that you would let me to walk home, but you never did.You always have a soft spot for ayams and duckies. I came back from school to find that my little duckie had died, but you provided comfort in making sure that it had a proper burial place.
During raya, you were the culprit to buy all sorts of mercun. You and I would sit for hours in your room fixing things up and making them more exciting. Remember the time when a mercun katak jumped into bapak's kain pelekat and he had to londeh his kain? It was funny, innit? I loved the fact that our house was so bright and cheerful because you made the effort to prepare the pelita and more.
Hey, what about the time musim buah pelam? We had so many different pokok pelam all around the house. We had pelam epal, pelam isi putih, kuinin and a few others that I do not remember their names anymore. Mak and I used to hold a kain batik so that when you kait the buah, all of them would fall into the kain. My favorite was buah kuinin.
Do you remember I like to eat daun pokok jambu bola? Nobody ever heard or saw striped jambu bola before but I remember quite well that the young leaves were very tasty just like the jambu. I wonder if the species of jambu is no longer known to humankind. Now that I am older, I wish we didn't cut down all the trees around our house. It's a shame.
Although, we were quite close, I admit that I used to envy you. It was obvious that mak always preferred you. I was jealous that I stooped so slow and threw a brick at your head. You had seven stiches and I got caned. You were always in the good book with mak and you could never do wrong in her eyes. I didn't understand it until later.
Back then, we always did things together. Maybe because we are the only two left at home, and we didn't have a lot of friends. Do you know how much I miss that time? Ateh, do you know how much I want to tell you that you are a great abang? I wanna cry thinking of those things that the younger ones would never experience. At least, I had great childhood memories and someone to share with.
Friday, 19 August 2005
This is my story III
It was almost a month since Mak was bedridden when she first had the stroke. Ateh and I were constantly at home. I was on a summer break, and Ateh worked at a nearby factory.I don’t remember much about Bapak as I had pushed the memories to the back of my mind. All I could picture was Mak lying on the bed in the living room. At 21, what did I know other than trying to get as many Bs so that I can be on that plane?
I was not a bright student neither was I a good daughter. I wanted to get away from home for so long. I had tried to leave home since I was 15. Oh how I had tried, but Mak didn’t let me go to a boarding school. It wasn’t that I don’t love them, but for once, I wanted to be away for a reason I couldn't explain. I didn't have one. I just wanted to leave.
However, with this incident, my life had turned upside down. I was glad I stayed home cos I knew my way around the house. The only thing that concerns me was what would happen when I go back to school.
Would there be somebody to take care of Mak? Would there be somebody to cook porridge and feed her? Would there be someone who would sit next to her and listen to her? Would there be someone who would bathe her with care and love?
Ateh was there but he was a man. I’m not saying that a man couldn’t do all these but a man’s heart, mind and touch are just different. During this time, I don’t know who handled it better, me or Ateh. He never talked about it and neither do I. I think that even if I had Aci, I would not be able to talk either.I didn’t think it was a burden. Mak would never become a burden to me. It was my responsibility and if I had to do it alone, so be it. I’d do it all over again and more, if I could.
I was counting the days I had to return to school. But I was also dreading the day I had to leave her at home with Ateh and Bapak. As the day moved ahead, so was she. Mak was getting better and stronger each day. I had her on therapy most of the time and she was like a little girl learning to walk.I wanted to be with her for every step of the way.
It was a miracle. From being paralysed and not able to speak a word, she had progressed so well in 6 weeks. Aci bought Mak a walking stick so she could lean on it whenever she felt tired. Mak was a fighter, she would survive this.
She was a tiger and a survivor.
She could barely walk a few weeks earlier. Somehow, she got well and a lot stronger when I left. At the back of my mind, I was worried sick for Mak. Sometimes, I wished I can go home during weekends, but with little allowance I got, I couldn't afford to go back and forth.
I phoned home almost every other night, asking Ateh about her progress. Was I glad when I could talk to Mak. Her speech wasn't clear but at least I could understand her and that gave me comfort. Looked like all was going well.
I was not a bright student neither was I a good daughter. I wanted to get away from home for so long. I had tried to leave home since I was 15. Oh how I had tried, but Mak didn’t let me go to a boarding school. It wasn’t that I don’t love them, but for once, I wanted to be away for a reason I couldn't explain. I didn't have one. I just wanted to leave.
However, with this incident, my life had turned upside down. I was glad I stayed home cos I knew my way around the house. The only thing that concerns me was what would happen when I go back to school.
Would there be somebody to take care of Mak? Would there be somebody to cook porridge and feed her? Would there be someone who would sit next to her and listen to her? Would there be someone who would bathe her with care and love?
Ateh was there but he was a man. I’m not saying that a man couldn’t do all these but a man’s heart, mind and touch are just different. During this time, I don’t know who handled it better, me or Ateh. He never talked about it and neither do I. I think that even if I had Aci, I would not be able to talk either.I didn’t think it was a burden. Mak would never become a burden to me. It was my responsibility and if I had to do it alone, so be it. I’d do it all over again and more, if I could.
I was counting the days I had to return to school. But I was also dreading the day I had to leave her at home with Ateh and Bapak. As the day moved ahead, so was she. Mak was getting better and stronger each day. I had her on therapy most of the time and she was like a little girl learning to walk.I wanted to be with her for every step of the way.
It was a miracle. From being paralysed and not able to speak a word, she had progressed so well in 6 weeks. Aci bought Mak a walking stick so she could lean on it whenever she felt tired. Mak was a fighter, she would survive this.
She was a tiger and a survivor.
She could barely walk a few weeks earlier. Somehow, she got well and a lot stronger when I left. At the back of my mind, I was worried sick for Mak. Sometimes, I wished I can go home during weekends, but with little allowance I got, I couldn't afford to go back and forth.
I phoned home almost every other night, asking Ateh about her progress. Was I glad when I could talk to Mak. Her speech wasn't clear but at least I could understand her and that gave me comfort. Looked like all was going well.
Monday, 8 August 2005
No no no! (no, it's not black eyed peas' song)
Spent Sunday in Longleat Safari Park, watching Air Race and going into mazes. It was business combined with pleasure, what more can I ask for?
Btw, I finished the Hegde Maze in 62 minutes and 34 seconds. I guess I took slightly 2 minutes longer than some people to find my way out.
It was a perfect day, I believe, and then I fell asleep under the tree with the heat and breeze hitting me occasionally.I woke up when I suddenly felt cold all over my body. It wasn't a good sign. Then I started feeling it in my throat.
No!I can't afford to fall sick. Too many things to do, and too little time.
I remember chatting on YM and saying I wish I fall sick one of these days and let the office takes over my work. That was my exact words.I knew I shouldn't have said things like this, but tu lah regret pun tak guna dah.
Please don't tell me off and say 'tu lah mintak yg bukan2 sangat'.I am sorry. But vattodo? Tomorrow my sore throat will be worse, and then come batuk and watery eyes and nose. Aiyaaa...
Btw, I finished the Hegde Maze in 62 minutes and 34 seconds. I guess I took slightly 2 minutes longer than some people to find my way out.
It was a perfect day, I believe, and then I fell asleep under the tree with the heat and breeze hitting me occasionally.I woke up when I suddenly felt cold all over my body. It wasn't a good sign. Then I started feeling it in my throat.
No!I can't afford to fall sick. Too many things to do, and too little time.
I remember chatting on YM and saying I wish I fall sick one of these days and let the office takes over my work. That was my exact words.I knew I shouldn't have said things like this, but tu lah regret pun tak guna dah.
Please don't tell me off and say 'tu lah mintak yg bukan2 sangat'.I am sorry. But vattodo? Tomorrow my sore throat will be worse, and then come batuk and watery eyes and nose. Aiyaaa...
Wednesday, 3 August 2005
Of all the things I lost,
I miss my mind the most.
Of all the things I lost, I miss _______________ the most.
(entertain me, please, I had a loooong day)
Of all the things I lost, I miss _______________ the most.
(entertain me, please, I had a loooong day)
Sunday, 31 July 2005
to Ateh with love
A few weeks ago, Ateh finally got his motorcycle licence. He is 38 this year. You may have read about him being mentally challenged. Actually, he is not that bad. He just takes longer time to understand some written stuffs that a normal person could do in 2 minutes.
He was reluctant to go for a driving class in the first place because I think he was embarrassed due to his age. Another reason was because of me. I started riding a motorbike when I was 11. By the time I was 12, I was already driving Bapak’s Opel to the local store, for practise. A year later, I told Ateh to jump onto the driver’s seat and I would teach him how to drive a car.
Me? Teaching my bro? Isk..iskk
After a few minutes of explaining to him the stick, gears and clutch etc, I told him to reverse the car. Instead of releasing the clutch slowly, he shocked us both and within seconds, he pressed the accelerator in panic. The car zoomed backward into a hutan kangkung in front of our house. The front part of the car was on the ground but the back was slowly going into the water. It was nearly Maghrib and Bapak took a couple of hours to get it out. Mak tak sudah sudah scolded me!Hehe. It was kinda funny when I think about it now, but it gave the shock of our lives and left a big impact on him. I knew I had to redeem this.
After a few years of nagging on my side, especially last year when I was at home, he finally agreed to go for a driving class and take the test. I had to provide attractive incentives for him; all the fees would be paid for, plus a brand new Honda EX5, if he passed the test.
It took a little while to persuade and convince him that having a licence will help improve his life, but, I guess it was the incentive that did it for him. Well, whatever works, at least he won’t be too dependent on others for mobility. He used to take a bus whenever he wanted to come back to our family home or to his parents-in-laws’. Or sometimes, his sis-in law would take them to places.
If it was one of us, we did it out of love for him, but I don’t think it was the same for them.
I don’t like their family. I hate it when I heard from Aci that they look down on him for his disadvantages. Like their daughters tu bagus sangat! At least Mak had taught him well; to be independent and know how to manage himself. If he was alone, he would know how to cook, unlike their daughters tu. Haram tak tau mende! Ateh actually taught his wife to cook some dishes. Unbelievable.
That is the main reason why I pushed him for this. I don’t want them to keep on bullying him.Initially, Aci heard that there is an exemption for people with disability or matured students (I haven’t got a clue) so she decided to ask around. After calling this department and that department, unfortunately, luck wasn’t on our side.
Acik, then, enrolled Ateh in a sekolah memandu and became his chauffeur every time he had to go to classes. The first few times, Acik waited at the training ground and he said that Ateh was doing quite well, except that he didn’t manage to finish the written test within the allocated time.
Another thing that Acik noticed was that Ateh actually knew the right answers to most questions, but because his mind processed the questions in a reversed way, he gave the wrong answers. Anyhow, I don’t really how to explain the situation. I understand what the problem is with Ateh, I just don’t know what to do to help him.
I know sometimes Acik got annoyed with Ateh when he tested him at home. A lot of times, he lost patience trying to explain simple things to Ateh because he had to repeat himself over and over again until Ateh understood. Somehow, Aci managed to cool Acik down. Ateh is, after all, our flesh and blood. And who else would stand by him, if not us? Even though we are already in the middle stage of life, we are still anak yatim piatu. Apatah lagi Ateh tu. With him, we have to have maximum patience.
He failed the written test twice. We were told that if he failed for the third time, he would be exempted from taking the written test, but he had to pass the riding test. Of course he would, I have no doubt.
It was Tuesday morning, 5 weeks ago, when I heard the beep.
‘Pak Teh pass both tests, bila nak beli motor?’ A text message from my nephew.
With a big smile on my face, I was glad that he took the chance. It was a big step for him and one step closer to being fully independent. I am happy.
‘Ask Mummy to survey price. Cash’.
I can picture him cruising on his kapchai already.
He was reluctant to go for a driving class in the first place because I think he was embarrassed due to his age. Another reason was because of me. I started riding a motorbike when I was 11. By the time I was 12, I was already driving Bapak’s Opel to the local store, for practise. A year later, I told Ateh to jump onto the driver’s seat and I would teach him how to drive a car.
Me? Teaching my bro? Isk..iskk
After a few minutes of explaining to him the stick, gears and clutch etc, I told him to reverse the car. Instead of releasing the clutch slowly, he shocked us both and within seconds, he pressed the accelerator in panic. The car zoomed backward into a hutan kangkung in front of our house. The front part of the car was on the ground but the back was slowly going into the water. It was nearly Maghrib and Bapak took a couple of hours to get it out. Mak tak sudah sudah scolded me!Hehe. It was kinda funny when I think about it now, but it gave the shock of our lives and left a big impact on him. I knew I had to redeem this.
After a few years of nagging on my side, especially last year when I was at home, he finally agreed to go for a driving class and take the test. I had to provide attractive incentives for him; all the fees would be paid for, plus a brand new Honda EX5, if he passed the test.
It took a little while to persuade and convince him that having a licence will help improve his life, but, I guess it was the incentive that did it for him. Well, whatever works, at least he won’t be too dependent on others for mobility. He used to take a bus whenever he wanted to come back to our family home or to his parents-in-laws’. Or sometimes, his sis-in law would take them to places.
If it was one of us, we did it out of love for him, but I don’t think it was the same for them.
I don’t like their family. I hate it when I heard from Aci that they look down on him for his disadvantages. Like their daughters tu bagus sangat! At least Mak had taught him well; to be independent and know how to manage himself. If he was alone, he would know how to cook, unlike their daughters tu. Haram tak tau mende! Ateh actually taught his wife to cook some dishes. Unbelievable.
That is the main reason why I pushed him for this. I don’t want them to keep on bullying him.Initially, Aci heard that there is an exemption for people with disability or matured students (I haven’t got a clue) so she decided to ask around. After calling this department and that department, unfortunately, luck wasn’t on our side.
Acik, then, enrolled Ateh in a sekolah memandu and became his chauffeur every time he had to go to classes. The first few times, Acik waited at the training ground and he said that Ateh was doing quite well, except that he didn’t manage to finish the written test within the allocated time.
Another thing that Acik noticed was that Ateh actually knew the right answers to most questions, but because his mind processed the questions in a reversed way, he gave the wrong answers. Anyhow, I don’t really how to explain the situation. I understand what the problem is with Ateh, I just don’t know what to do to help him.
I know sometimes Acik got annoyed with Ateh when he tested him at home. A lot of times, he lost patience trying to explain simple things to Ateh because he had to repeat himself over and over again until Ateh understood. Somehow, Aci managed to cool Acik down. Ateh is, after all, our flesh and blood. And who else would stand by him, if not us? Even though we are already in the middle stage of life, we are still anak yatim piatu. Apatah lagi Ateh tu. With him, we have to have maximum patience.
He failed the written test twice. We were told that if he failed for the third time, he would be exempted from taking the written test, but he had to pass the riding test. Of course he would, I have no doubt.
It was Tuesday morning, 5 weeks ago, when I heard the beep.
‘Pak Teh pass both tests, bila nak beli motor?’ A text message from my nephew.
With a big smile on my face, I was glad that he took the chance. It was a big step for him and one step closer to being fully independent. I am happy.
‘Ask Mummy to survey price. Cash’.
I can picture him cruising on his kapchai already.
Friday, 29 July 2005
what's the point of having a dream if you're not gonna make it happen?
(tajuk panjang giler courtesy of Honda ads)
PS wrote something about dreams and living a different life, if you could change it. Or you would rather stick to the current life.Is there any point of re-living my life? I dunno. Maybe if I had been given a time tunnel (today I drove into Tyne Tunnel, hence the subject), I might want to go back and change a few things here and there, but I don’t think I want to live a different life altogether.
It’s not perfect, mind you, but I like it the way it is.
Basically, I can’t say I want to change the few things either. I just want to move forward some of the decisions I made. Like when I decided to leave Malaysia, instead of in 2002, I should have done that in, say, 1999 maybe.
I am out of this world.You know, I have this thing that has been nagging me for a little while. I spoke to dz and kakteh about it, but seems like it's still lingering around. So, I guess I have to blog about it.
Most people in our society, in my humble opinion, cannot run away from this narrow minded perception. Malay(sian)s seem to set a certain kind of status or standard to our own people.
People with tertiary education are expected to have a certain kind of jobs with certain kind of perks and make certain amount of money and drive a certain kind of cars. Why? Because you have a BSc, MS or Phd?
Why put a label or status?
You see, I don’t understand that.
When hiring staff, Malaysians are obsessed with degrees and whatnot. If you don’t own one, no matter how good you are, please walk thru that door and don’t come back again.
On the other hand, a lot of students with degrees also perasan that because they have one, they should get a desk job in an office and good salary. Duh! Ok maybe that’s not the case anymore, but hey, do they ever think of doing something else instead of just doing this scheme and that scheme? Semua kerajaan nak kena tolong ke? You think that's your right ke? Hessh!
Ok, this may not come out the way I want it to.
Let’s try again. Let’s take my life, for example.
Disclaimer: AA, this is not intended for you, ok hon. Saja tak de benda lain nak tulis.
Listen, I know some of you were thinking what I actually do here. Tak dak keje lain ke nak buat? Makcik kat kat kampong sure tercengang kalau depa tau and sure kena kutuk lah ‘belajaq tinggi tinggi, keja juai aiskrim saja?' Apa guna belajaq obersi?
Hessh. Banyak gunanya makcik oi.
I may not be a hotshot executive in some big corp. I may not be a financial controller or businessperson. I have tried that route before. I also have tasted what it was like to be a civil servant. I am not cut to be sitting at a desk all day. To some, it may sound like I lead a low scrapping life selling ice cream. Please, when you read this, don’t pity me, because I don’t really need it.
I like my job. I have the most flexible time in the world, except in summer la. My director, The Mentor, protects me from The Boss from breathing down my neck. She also doesn’t care how I do my job as long as I get them done. I can take time off (skive la) during the day to go for a haircut or do a little shopping, and she won’t mind. I decide how to do it and when to do it. (Yesterday, I was at Orange shop for 2 hours, tukar telefon baru and she knows about it) Also, she will wait until after noon before calling me up, if she knows I had a long day the night before (she'd let me sleep in).
I could take my friends with me for a little weekend getaway when I go up and down the country. I can start work late or early depending on my mood. My mobile bills are paid by the company (yes baby!) I don’t have a 9-5 punch card since my home is my office. My van and fuel all paid for by the company. I wear jeans and sneakers all the time (this reminds me I have to buy a new Nike). I can help myself to a whole loads of ice cream in the warehouse, like proven to Kakteh (mau lagi ka?) I also get to go to the backstage of west end theatres when I was doing my round and see rehearsals if I wish.
Do I sound smug? Hehehe... at least I don't think I was, just glad I got this job. Gary actually said it was intended for PS, really, but she decided not to come back to the UK. So, I told Gaz I wanted the job.
With a job like this, what else do I want, kan? When I feel down and tired with the work, I’d somehow think that there are people in jobs worst than mine. And because The Mentor treated me well and trusted my ability, I had to give back 120%. I’m not complaining.
So, yes people, I could have had good job that bore me to death, but instead, I am just a plain ice cream seller. Eh? Halal apa. I mean the ice cream is halal, hahahaa.
I tak main office politics, I don't stab behind someone's back, I don't berebut jawatan for promotion and I don't think I ever misuse my well connected networks of ice cream sellers :)Smell the lillies? I did.
But, you haven’t heard the stories of my two brothers, Na and Acik. Tu lagi terer! Both were former engineers but now they are doing something totally different.
Na decided to repair computers instead cos that’s his interest. Acik, he used to earn a living by jadi tukang urut reflexology (this was way when it wasn’t a trend yet) and now he’s just a farmer.
You see, we (me and my immediate family) are very sempoi. I think Mak would have been proud of us.The question is, do I want to live a different life? The grass always looks greener on the other side, but I know the greener the grass is, mesti lagi banyak slugs!
PS wrote something about dreams and living a different life, if you could change it. Or you would rather stick to the current life.Is there any point of re-living my life? I dunno. Maybe if I had been given a time tunnel (today I drove into Tyne Tunnel, hence the subject), I might want to go back and change a few things here and there, but I don’t think I want to live a different life altogether.
It’s not perfect, mind you, but I like it the way it is.
Basically, I can’t say I want to change the few things either. I just want to move forward some of the decisions I made. Like when I decided to leave Malaysia, instead of in 2002, I should have done that in, say, 1999 maybe.
I am out of this world.You know, I have this thing that has been nagging me for a little while. I spoke to dz and kakteh about it, but seems like it's still lingering around. So, I guess I have to blog about it.
Most people in our society, in my humble opinion, cannot run away from this narrow minded perception. Malay(sian)s seem to set a certain kind of status or standard to our own people.
People with tertiary education are expected to have a certain kind of jobs with certain kind of perks and make certain amount of money and drive a certain kind of cars. Why? Because you have a BSc, MS or Phd?
Why put a label or status?
You see, I don’t understand that.
When hiring staff, Malaysians are obsessed with degrees and whatnot. If you don’t own one, no matter how good you are, please walk thru that door and don’t come back again.
On the other hand, a lot of students with degrees also perasan that because they have one, they should get a desk job in an office and good salary. Duh! Ok maybe that’s not the case anymore, but hey, do they ever think of doing something else instead of just doing this scheme and that scheme? Semua kerajaan nak kena tolong ke? You think that's your right ke? Hessh!
Ok, this may not come out the way I want it to.
Let’s try again. Let’s take my life, for example.
Disclaimer: AA, this is not intended for you, ok hon. Saja tak de benda lain nak tulis.
Listen, I know some of you were thinking what I actually do here. Tak dak keje lain ke nak buat? Makcik kat kat kampong sure tercengang kalau depa tau and sure kena kutuk lah ‘belajaq tinggi tinggi, keja juai aiskrim saja?' Apa guna belajaq obersi?
Hessh. Banyak gunanya makcik oi.
I may not be a hotshot executive in some big corp. I may not be a financial controller or businessperson. I have tried that route before. I also have tasted what it was like to be a civil servant. I am not cut to be sitting at a desk all day. To some, it may sound like I lead a low scrapping life selling ice cream. Please, when you read this, don’t pity me, because I don’t really need it.
I like my job. I have the most flexible time in the world, except in summer la. My director, The Mentor, protects me from The Boss from breathing down my neck. She also doesn’t care how I do my job as long as I get them done. I can take time off (skive la) during the day to go for a haircut or do a little shopping, and she won’t mind. I decide how to do it and when to do it. (Yesterday, I was at Orange shop for 2 hours, tukar telefon baru and she knows about it) Also, she will wait until after noon before calling me up, if she knows I had a long day the night before (she'd let me sleep in).
I could take my friends with me for a little weekend getaway when I go up and down the country. I can start work late or early depending on my mood. My mobile bills are paid by the company (yes baby!) I don’t have a 9-5 punch card since my home is my office. My van and fuel all paid for by the company. I wear jeans and sneakers all the time (this reminds me I have to buy a new Nike). I can help myself to a whole loads of ice cream in the warehouse, like proven to Kakteh (mau lagi ka?) I also get to go to the backstage of west end theatres when I was doing my round and see rehearsals if I wish.
Do I sound smug? Hehehe... at least I don't think I was, just glad I got this job. Gary actually said it was intended for PS, really, but she decided not to come back to the UK. So, I told Gaz I wanted the job.
With a job like this, what else do I want, kan? When I feel down and tired with the work, I’d somehow think that there are people in jobs worst than mine. And because The Mentor treated me well and trusted my ability, I had to give back 120%. I’m not complaining.
So, yes people, I could have had good job that bore me to death, but instead, I am just a plain ice cream seller. Eh? Halal apa. I mean the ice cream is halal, hahahaa.
I tak main office politics, I don't stab behind someone's back, I don't berebut jawatan for promotion and I don't think I ever misuse my well connected networks of ice cream sellers :)Smell the lillies? I did.
But, you haven’t heard the stories of my two brothers, Na and Acik. Tu lagi terer! Both were former engineers but now they are doing something totally different.
Na decided to repair computers instead cos that’s his interest. Acik, he used to earn a living by jadi tukang urut reflexology (this was way when it wasn’t a trend yet) and now he’s just a farmer.
You see, we (me and my immediate family) are very sempoi. I think Mak would have been proud of us.The question is, do I want to live a different life? The grass always looks greener on the other side, but I know the greener the grass is, mesti lagi banyak slugs!
Tuesday, 26 July 2005
uninvited visitor
Oh my god!
What's happening at home now? I was just surfing the net when suddenly a policeman came into the living room. He took one look around and said 'it looks normal,' and he saw the aquarium and commented how nice it looks.
My flat was invaded by 4 police officers. With recent development in London, I get nervous when I see the police everywhere. I know they're patrolling the areas to ensure safety but heck! Look what happened to that Brazillian guy. We are not safe, not even from the police. And now they're inside my flat!
One of them said that they received a phone call from my address reporting some incident. Huh? We were clueless. As I remember, Maury and I were dancing to VH1 Classics and didn't hear anything at all. Marc was in his room doing whatever and Luca was with his fish.
After a while, they went out and we followed suit. All of us were lingering outside and saw 2 police cars with their lights on, brightening the whole stretch of the street. One of the officers, the most hensem of them all, started lecturing us about playing with phone. Bloody hell! Who did that anyway? Excuse me, we pleaded not guilty.
My eyes became blurry after seeing the bright lights so I came back inside and left them all. This was the third time I had police invading my flat.
First time. Back in MO, after the shooting incident at nearby old folks home. All residents at UP were advised to either go down to the basement or stay low in their own flats. It was 3 am, me and Che Lin were sobbing out hearts off watching Ghost, when suddenly there was a loud knock. With my red eyes, I opened the door and in front of me stood this macho muscled policeman. He was a gorgeous species! I felt like an idiot in my pjs, swollen eyes and dishevelled hair.
Second time. I just came back from work, feeling really tired and hungry after a long day at the aquatic center in STL. Didie came back a few minutes later after I started cooking, but she went straight to the phone to gayut with her then bf.
Chopped onions and threw everything in the pots when suddenly I heard the knock. With a senduk in my hand, I opened the door and saw 3 policemen. I was interrogated as if my senduk was my weapon. Esshh... They claimed they received a phone call from our home number and they responded within 5 minutes.
Man! They were real fast. But how could they trace our number when Didie was in fact glued to the phone unless she accidently punched 911?
I dunno what made me look out through the window but what I saw amazed me. There were 4 police cars and 1 sherrif car. All the people in the neighborhood came out to look. We girls were sure knocked for six.
But let me tell you this, the British police doesn't look as good as their American counterpart. The ones in STL were absolutely delicious looking fine specimen. Hahaha. I felt like pinching their arms and feel how strong they are. Mmmmmm.....
What's happening at home now? I was just surfing the net when suddenly a policeman came into the living room. He took one look around and said 'it looks normal,' and he saw the aquarium and commented how nice it looks.
My flat was invaded by 4 police officers. With recent development in London, I get nervous when I see the police everywhere. I know they're patrolling the areas to ensure safety but heck! Look what happened to that Brazillian guy. We are not safe, not even from the police. And now they're inside my flat!
One of them said that they received a phone call from my address reporting some incident. Huh? We were clueless. As I remember, Maury and I were dancing to VH1 Classics and didn't hear anything at all. Marc was in his room doing whatever and Luca was with his fish.
After a while, they went out and we followed suit. All of us were lingering outside and saw 2 police cars with their lights on, brightening the whole stretch of the street. One of the officers, the most hensem of them all, started lecturing us about playing with phone. Bloody hell! Who did that anyway? Excuse me, we pleaded not guilty.
My eyes became blurry after seeing the bright lights so I came back inside and left them all. This was the third time I had police invading my flat.
First time. Back in MO, after the shooting incident at nearby old folks home. All residents at UP were advised to either go down to the basement or stay low in their own flats. It was 3 am, me and Che Lin were sobbing out hearts off watching Ghost, when suddenly there was a loud knock. With my red eyes, I opened the door and in front of me stood this macho muscled policeman. He was a gorgeous species! I felt like an idiot in my pjs, swollen eyes and dishevelled hair.
Second time. I just came back from work, feeling really tired and hungry after a long day at the aquatic center in STL. Didie came back a few minutes later after I started cooking, but she went straight to the phone to gayut with her then bf.
Chopped onions and threw everything in the pots when suddenly I heard the knock. With a senduk in my hand, I opened the door and saw 3 policemen. I was interrogated as if my senduk was my weapon. Esshh... They claimed they received a phone call from our home number and they responded within 5 minutes.
Man! They were real fast. But how could they trace our number when Didie was in fact glued to the phone unless she accidently punched 911?
I dunno what made me look out through the window but what I saw amazed me. There were 4 police cars and 1 sherrif car. All the people in the neighborhood came out to look. We girls were sure knocked for six.
But let me tell you this, the British police doesn't look as good as their American counterpart. The ones in STL were absolutely delicious looking fine specimen. Hahaha. I felt like pinching their arms and feel how strong they are. Mmmmmm.....
Monday, 25 July 2005
all flaws and in front of you
Sunday 11:07 am
This is utterly unbelievable. I’m here at a site, in a van, ready for business, but instead I’m writing an entry for blog. The weather is so horrible that I finally decided I should switch on my computer and do something before I die out of boredom.
Normally, I don’t have anywhere to connect for electricity, however, at this site, lucky me, they have an external socket. So, I can sit in here writing or watching dvd. For all I know, I probably won’t have any customers at all. The weird thing about the Brits is that be it freezing weather, they somehow will still enjoy their cold desserts. Mmm… I could never understand it.
Yesterday, Messed Up Girl did offer to come work with me at the site, but due to unforeseen circumstances, she couldn’t make it. It’s good that she didn’t come or else, she too, would die of boredom.
You know, it’s kinda funny when I say to some people (bloggers) that we should meet some times. I dunno whether I actually have the gut to go see them. So far, I’ve only met Kakteh, Min and Azuradec.
Min, for example, had been asking me out constantly, for few weeks until I finally had the courage to say yes for a drink. I met Kakteh for two reasons. One, she’s basically a family. Two, because I had Ahui with me, I didn’t really feel the anxiety. Meeting Azuradec was purely because I was just trying to be a good human being to another, and because I had the mean to help. I
tell you, before meeting them, I dread about it all week and I tried to delay as long as possible. It was actually scary. You read the stories of my life, know the demons I had to banish and learn what's inside my head, and I think it should stay that way. I don't think I have the energy to meet the other bloggers.
If you don’t know me, let me tell you that I am a shy person. I like keeping things to myself and do my own things alone. My blog life doesn’t reflect my real life. I maybe vocal, write rubbish things and swear a lot in blog, but I don’t talk that much, especially with strangers. If I find that your thoughts and mine are not on the same wavelength, I will start daydream and be lost in my own world. If I was mad or frustrated about something, you wouldn’t know it because I always hide them behind my smile.
When you read about my life here, you thought oh how brave she is when in fact I am scared shit. I do what I have to do because I want to be different and because I had to create my own destiny.I am not a social butterfly, and I am sure PS can vouch on this. The last time I was home, I hardly went out to meet people and I think she resented the fact that I was hibernating in my nest.
Every time she invited me to some parties with her fabulous friends, I declined and made a lot of excuses that she finally gave up on me. I am a true Cancer; always homely and a tad too sensitive. I know I disappointed you, PS and for that I am sorry.
The fact is I don’t know how to connect with these people. My life is mundane and too ordinary compared to them. My adventures are not as exciting and I am not as cultured.
Only when I am with good friends who know me inside out that I took off my mask. I laugh and joke a lot. I can be ridiculously funny, talk rubbish and be silly. I can be the brave Ewok, or Doraemon, Martha Stewart, Nigella Lawson, Henry VIII or sometimes Shakespeare when the occasion suits me, and they still would not think differently. They will still tell me straight to my face if what I was doing is not good for me. They are honest, sincere and critical. And I know it’s all because they love me.
I’ve been through a lot of stages where I was sad, mad and angry with my family. I distanced myself and I refused to go home. During this time, my friends were my family. Without them, I would have drifted away and never be found again. They keep me sane.
PS, I know I hurt you some times ago when you were here with me. Remember Agata and Agy? I am ashamed of myself for that. For a long time, I feel bad about it but I dunno how to tell you. I want you to know that I am very very sorry for treating you that way. Even after that incident, you never stopped being my friend. You never hesitated to tell me where I stand or where I do wrong. I can discuss with you everything and you won't be judgmental of my silliness and outrageousness. You can be the most messy cook ever but I know you would never let me mess up my life. I can always count on you to keep my feet on the ground.
Ju, I can never thank you enough for being the pillar in my life. You and your family welcomed me into your circle and given me love. You may be naïve sometimes but it is comforting to know that you will always be there when I needed someone to talk to. When I was in a deep shit, you’re the one who came to the rescue and pulled me out of it. You’re the rational and practical one. You are a great friend with big heart and with what little you have, you would share with me. You know, all those years ago, I let you bully me into doing pesky little things because I care for you.
To my best friends, I value your friendships more than ever. You may be far from me, but you never left my heart. I miss you so much, and that explains why you keep getting my phone calls all the time.
Love you lots.
Btw PS, you'd be glad to know that I finally finished To Kill A Mockingbird, a year too late. Normally, the bird mocks me when I was trying to read it before going to bed. No more baby, no more. It's really a fantastic book but I had to speed up because I want to start HP.
This is utterly unbelievable. I’m here at a site, in a van, ready for business, but instead I’m writing an entry for blog. The weather is so horrible that I finally decided I should switch on my computer and do something before I die out of boredom.
Normally, I don’t have anywhere to connect for electricity, however, at this site, lucky me, they have an external socket. So, I can sit in here writing or watching dvd. For all I know, I probably won’t have any customers at all. The weird thing about the Brits is that be it freezing weather, they somehow will still enjoy their cold desserts. Mmm… I could never understand it.
Yesterday, Messed Up Girl did offer to come work with me at the site, but due to unforeseen circumstances, she couldn’t make it. It’s good that she didn’t come or else, she too, would die of boredom.
You know, it’s kinda funny when I say to some people (bloggers) that we should meet some times. I dunno whether I actually have the gut to go see them. So far, I’ve only met Kakteh, Min and Azuradec.
Min, for example, had been asking me out constantly, for few weeks until I finally had the courage to say yes for a drink. I met Kakteh for two reasons. One, she’s basically a family. Two, because I had Ahui with me, I didn’t really feel the anxiety. Meeting Azuradec was purely because I was just trying to be a good human being to another, and because I had the mean to help. I
tell you, before meeting them, I dread about it all week and I tried to delay as long as possible. It was actually scary. You read the stories of my life, know the demons I had to banish and learn what's inside my head, and I think it should stay that way. I don't think I have the energy to meet the other bloggers.
If you don’t know me, let me tell you that I am a shy person. I like keeping things to myself and do my own things alone. My blog life doesn’t reflect my real life. I maybe vocal, write rubbish things and swear a lot in blog, but I don’t talk that much, especially with strangers. If I find that your thoughts and mine are not on the same wavelength, I will start daydream and be lost in my own world. If I was mad or frustrated about something, you wouldn’t know it because I always hide them behind my smile.
When you read about my life here, you thought oh how brave she is when in fact I am scared shit. I do what I have to do because I want to be different and because I had to create my own destiny.I am not a social butterfly, and I am sure PS can vouch on this. The last time I was home, I hardly went out to meet people and I think she resented the fact that I was hibernating in my nest.
Every time she invited me to some parties with her fabulous friends, I declined and made a lot of excuses that she finally gave up on me. I am a true Cancer; always homely and a tad too sensitive. I know I disappointed you, PS and for that I am sorry.
The fact is I don’t know how to connect with these people. My life is mundane and too ordinary compared to them. My adventures are not as exciting and I am not as cultured.
Only when I am with good friends who know me inside out that I took off my mask. I laugh and joke a lot. I can be ridiculously funny, talk rubbish and be silly. I can be the brave Ewok, or Doraemon, Martha Stewart, Nigella Lawson, Henry VIII or sometimes Shakespeare when the occasion suits me, and they still would not think differently. They will still tell me straight to my face if what I was doing is not good for me. They are honest, sincere and critical. And I know it’s all because they love me.
I’ve been through a lot of stages where I was sad, mad and angry with my family. I distanced myself and I refused to go home. During this time, my friends were my family. Without them, I would have drifted away and never be found again. They keep me sane.
PS, I know I hurt you some times ago when you were here with me. Remember Agata and Agy? I am ashamed of myself for that. For a long time, I feel bad about it but I dunno how to tell you. I want you to know that I am very very sorry for treating you that way. Even after that incident, you never stopped being my friend. You never hesitated to tell me where I stand or where I do wrong. I can discuss with you everything and you won't be judgmental of my silliness and outrageousness. You can be the most messy cook ever but I know you would never let me mess up my life. I can always count on you to keep my feet on the ground.
Ju, I can never thank you enough for being the pillar in my life. You and your family welcomed me into your circle and given me love. You may be naïve sometimes but it is comforting to know that you will always be there when I needed someone to talk to. When I was in a deep shit, you’re the one who came to the rescue and pulled me out of it. You’re the rational and practical one. You are a great friend with big heart and with what little you have, you would share with me. You know, all those years ago, I let you bully me into doing pesky little things because I care for you.
To my best friends, I value your friendships more than ever. You may be far from me, but you never left my heart. I miss you so much, and that explains why you keep getting my phone calls all the time.
Love you lots.
Btw PS, you'd be glad to know that I finally finished To Kill A Mockingbird, a year too late. Normally, the bird mocks me when I was trying to read it before going to bed. No more baby, no more. It's really a fantastic book but I had to speed up because I want to start HP.
Wednesday, 13 July 2005
Almost a week after the bombings, today, I drove past King's Cross and Edgware Road stations. Life goes on as usual. The areas were busy as usual and traffic jam was as bad.
Everything on telly is talking about issues being British Muslims and the backlash. I had an heated discussion with Luca over the topic, and I found myself raising my voice as we got into the sensitive matter. I finally cooled down after I realized there was no point in sweating out over this thing. However much we try to reason things out, ignorants will always be ignorants. I shall keep away from them.
Of the number of people dead, 52 is a small number compared to the 911 or the Madrid incident or the thousands killed in Middle East. I know some of you probably will be horrified at what you're going to read so let me tell you, I abhor the attack on innocent lives but this is where I contradict myself. I say... only 4 explosions? They should have planned more, you know, at Victoria St., Finchley Rd., Embankment and Earl's Court. That should teach Blair something. Double standards kiss ass bastard!
Sorry guys. I had to let this out cos I'm frustrated with the argument I had just now and with the news on telly.
July is making me physically drained and diary for Aug is already full. The thing is I'm too tired that I can't think of anything witty or stupid to write.
Late afternoon, I received a phone call that one of my staff's mum passed away from heart attack, so he and his girlfriend are flying back home tonight. With more events but not enough staff, work is taking up so much of my time. I need sleep more than anything else.
Sidney Sloane, you know how it was, right? Maybe I should consider taking time off blogging. I'll be around, but am not gonna blog as often as before. Not too worry, Lil Ms D will be around too, I think. Well, only if she's ok with playing host cos I know she's bz too.
On a lighter note, I managed to put up songs on my blog. See Radio Ewok at the bottom of the sidebar. I've been jealous with atenah cos she got music on hers but I didn't want something that play automatically, so I created a playlist where I (you) can choose the songs I (you) like to listen to. Enjoy the music.So, I guess I see you when I see you.
Everything on telly is talking about issues being British Muslims and the backlash. I had an heated discussion with Luca over the topic, and I found myself raising my voice as we got into the sensitive matter. I finally cooled down after I realized there was no point in sweating out over this thing. However much we try to reason things out, ignorants will always be ignorants. I shall keep away from them.
Of the number of people dead, 52 is a small number compared to the 911 or the Madrid incident or the thousands killed in Middle East. I know some of you probably will be horrified at what you're going to read so let me tell you, I abhor the attack on innocent lives but this is where I contradict myself. I say... only 4 explosions? They should have planned more, you know, at Victoria St., Finchley Rd., Embankment and Earl's Court. That should teach Blair something. Double standards kiss ass bastard!
Sorry guys. I had to let this out cos I'm frustrated with the argument I had just now and with the news on telly.
July is making me physically drained and diary for Aug is already full. The thing is I'm too tired that I can't think of anything witty or stupid to write.
Late afternoon, I received a phone call that one of my staff's mum passed away from heart attack, so he and his girlfriend are flying back home tonight. With more events but not enough staff, work is taking up so much of my time. I need sleep more than anything else.
Sidney Sloane, you know how it was, right? Maybe I should consider taking time off blogging. I'll be around, but am not gonna blog as often as before. Not too worry, Lil Ms D will be around too, I think. Well, only if she's ok with playing host cos I know she's bz too.
On a lighter note, I managed to put up songs on my blog. See Radio Ewok at the bottom of the sidebar. I've been jealous with atenah cos she got music on hers but I didn't want something that play automatically, so I created a playlist where I (you) can choose the songs I (you) like to listen to. Enjoy the music.So, I guess I see you when I see you.
Friday, 8 July 2005
Revenge of the Sin
It was just a matter of time. We all knew London is high on the list and they were going to bomb her, we just didn't know when. It was inevitable and now we see it happened.
All fingers are now pointing to Al-Qaeda. They sure know how to choose the busiest parts of the city at the busiest hour. Thousands of Londoners were trapped underground screaming for help and in a panic state. It was horrendous pictures, carriages blasted with glasses flying everywhere in the confined space.
Until now at least 38 were dead and over 700 were treated for casualties from the blasts.On the radio, one woman said the carriage next to hers, packed with commuters, exploded right in front of her eyes. As she ducked, she felt the glasses hit her from front and behind, and then everything blackened. When she finally moved, she saw blood dripping from her face and many fellow commuters were wounded.
People were crying and shaking, shocked and scared at the most horrible incident ever. Some were screaming 'Help us! Help us!' Some who were a little bit lucky managed to carry others to find a way out, while many more suffered cuts, broken bones and burns. A few had to be amputated due to the injuries they acquired.
The scenes where the bus exploded were bloodied, and eerie. Witnesses claimed they saw bodies flying from the top deck as everyone was running for their life. The building behind the bus was splattered with blood. Cars abandoned in the aftermath.
A man, who survived this, said he saw a woman trying to console her little girl who couldn't seem to stop crying. Imagine the trauma she'd have for the rest of her life.Nothing could have prepared us for this. It was so surreal.
The TfL (Transport for London) is totally crippled. All transportation coming in and out from London were suspended. Hundreds of thousands of people were had nowhere to go and some were wondering how to get home.
I was on the phone all day trying to get in touch with everyone. The Mentor was unreachable until after 3pm. Maury and Luca were home and they were trying to call me almost every hour. Was trying to reach Min but all phone networks were overloaded. Thank goodness Kakteh was still at home when I spoke to her.
As I was driving back into the city, the motorways were jam packed with people trying to leave the city. Many walked home. No one was coming in except weirdos like me who choose to live here. As I passed the M4, going towards Heathrow, I could see people walking and some were running on the kerb along the motorway with their baggages. Probably trying very hard not to miss their planes.
I was lucky. God spared me my life. Last night, I was contemplating whether I should go visiting the West End Theatres or go out to West country instead. I chose the latter. For this, I am grateful. Dunno what would have happened to me if I took the tube to the city. Thank you for asking about my wellbeing. I am ok, just shocked at the sheer madness of this event.
To the people who lost their family members in the explosions, all my condolences to you. To the people who are doing heroic efforts in providing emergency services and making sure London is back on her feet, I say thank you.
To the bombers, you make our life here miserable. Damn you bastards!
All fingers are now pointing to Al-Qaeda. They sure know how to choose the busiest parts of the city at the busiest hour. Thousands of Londoners were trapped underground screaming for help and in a panic state. It was horrendous pictures, carriages blasted with glasses flying everywhere in the confined space.
Until now at least 38 were dead and over 700 were treated for casualties from the blasts.On the radio, one woman said the carriage next to hers, packed with commuters, exploded right in front of her eyes. As she ducked, she felt the glasses hit her from front and behind, and then everything blackened. When she finally moved, she saw blood dripping from her face and many fellow commuters were wounded.
People were crying and shaking, shocked and scared at the most horrible incident ever. Some were screaming 'Help us! Help us!' Some who were a little bit lucky managed to carry others to find a way out, while many more suffered cuts, broken bones and burns. A few had to be amputated due to the injuries they acquired.
The scenes where the bus exploded were bloodied, and eerie. Witnesses claimed they saw bodies flying from the top deck as everyone was running for their life. The building behind the bus was splattered with blood. Cars abandoned in the aftermath.
A man, who survived this, said he saw a woman trying to console her little girl who couldn't seem to stop crying. Imagine the trauma she'd have for the rest of her life.Nothing could have prepared us for this. It was so surreal.
The TfL (Transport for London) is totally crippled. All transportation coming in and out from London were suspended. Hundreds of thousands of people were had nowhere to go and some were wondering how to get home.
I was on the phone all day trying to get in touch with everyone. The Mentor was unreachable until after 3pm. Maury and Luca were home and they were trying to call me almost every hour. Was trying to reach Min but all phone networks were overloaded. Thank goodness Kakteh was still at home when I spoke to her.
As I was driving back into the city, the motorways were jam packed with people trying to leave the city. Many walked home. No one was coming in except weirdos like me who choose to live here. As I passed the M4, going towards Heathrow, I could see people walking and some were running on the kerb along the motorway with their baggages. Probably trying very hard not to miss their planes.
I was lucky. God spared me my life. Last night, I was contemplating whether I should go visiting the West End Theatres or go out to West country instead. I chose the latter. For this, I am grateful. Dunno what would have happened to me if I took the tube to the city. Thank you for asking about my wellbeing. I am ok, just shocked at the sheer madness of this event.
To the people who lost their family members in the explosions, all my condolences to you. To the people who are doing heroic efforts in providing emergency services and making sure London is back on her feet, I say thank you.
To the bombers, you make our life here miserable. Damn you bastards!
Tuesday, 5 July 2005
I had coffee, she had water
After long time planning to meet her, I finally able to find a day off on one weekend to go for coffee. We arranged to meet at 2pm in Leicester Square, and when I got there I was surprised to see so many people in front of Empire.
Oh! Premiere of Madagascar rupanya. Banyak betul penguins and lions berkeliaran sana sini, terlepas from their cages. While waiting for DrMyn to come, I managed to squeeze in between loads of people to catch a glimpse of David Swimmer aka Ross Gellar or even Ben Stiller. But kalau dah pendek tu pendek jugaklah, I couldn't see a thing except the bums of the paparazzi and the top of lion's head.
Min came 20 minutes later, ahem ahem... hehehe. Poor girl, she had to layan mamat nak beli rumah who kept asking her like she's a real estate lady.
We were supposed to have coffee but she doesn't drink coffee. Why oh why?Never mind. We sat in starbucks and talked and talked. Or she talked and I listened more. Or was it the other way around? heh... topics of conversation are blog, bloggers, school, work, ice cream, blog, bloggers, relationship, books, blog... hahahaha almost everything was related to blogs.
Sitting there from 2:30pm to almost 8pm, we only had one Frapuccino Mocha and a bottle of still water, but we sure laughed a lot. It was grand, until my tummy breakdanced and screamed for food.
Senang betul jalan ngan cik mek ni, dia cakap makan apa apa jelah. So hati pun kata nak makan yang simple je, nachos cukuplah. Tapi kena lak tunggu 15 minutes, tak tahan siot. I hauled her with me, we go eat mee kari kat belakang tu je. Sedap lagi this mee from the one I bought kat pasar malam di Oriental City tu. Next time I nak try the one she had, besar betul udang dia. Esshh.. lapar lah pulak bila cakap pasal food ni.
All the while, we had fun talking (I can't say the same for her la), but after speaking and listening to broken English by Italians, Poles and Africans, damn was I glad to hear familiar accent.
It was passed 9 when we decided to leave, and disebabkan tak puas bersembang, we walked to Marble Arch for me to catch a bus back. Tu pun tak abis sembang. Uissh!It was a fun day. Thank you for the great company.
Oh! Premiere of Madagascar rupanya. Banyak betul penguins and lions berkeliaran sana sini, terlepas from their cages. While waiting for DrMyn to come, I managed to squeeze in between loads of people to catch a glimpse of David Swimmer aka Ross Gellar or even Ben Stiller. But kalau dah pendek tu pendek jugaklah, I couldn't see a thing except the bums of the paparazzi and the top of lion's head.
Min came 20 minutes later, ahem ahem... hehehe. Poor girl, she had to layan mamat nak beli rumah who kept asking her like she's a real estate lady.
We were supposed to have coffee but she doesn't drink coffee. Why oh why?Never mind. We sat in starbucks and talked and talked. Or she talked and I listened more. Or was it the other way around? heh... topics of conversation are blog, bloggers, school, work, ice cream, blog, bloggers, relationship, books, blog... hahahaha almost everything was related to blogs.
Sitting there from 2:30pm to almost 8pm, we only had one Frapuccino Mocha and a bottle of still water, but we sure laughed a lot. It was grand, until my tummy breakdanced and screamed for food.
Senang betul jalan ngan cik mek ni, dia cakap makan apa apa jelah. So hati pun kata nak makan yang simple je, nachos cukuplah. Tapi kena lak tunggu 15 minutes, tak tahan siot. I hauled her with me, we go eat mee kari kat belakang tu je. Sedap lagi this mee from the one I bought kat pasar malam di Oriental City tu. Next time I nak try the one she had, besar betul udang dia. Esshh.. lapar lah pulak bila cakap pasal food ni.
All the while, we had fun talking (I can't say the same for her la), but after speaking and listening to broken English by Italians, Poles and Africans, damn was I glad to hear familiar accent.
It was passed 9 when we decided to leave, and disebabkan tak puas bersembang, we walked to Marble Arch for me to catch a bus back. Tu pun tak abis sembang. Uissh!It was a fun day. Thank you for the great company.
Monday, 4 July 2005
warkah biru
Ke hadapan kekandaku Dina Zaman,
Pertama kali, saya ingin meminta maaf kalau cerita panas saya tu menggempurkan semua org termasuk lah diri awak sendiri.
Sebenarnya saya tak sengaja. Pada hari Sabtu hari tu, saya telah dapat email dari si dia. Dia kata hati dia tengah berbunga-bunga semenjak awak membalas warkah-warkah dia. Essh... tak sangka saya, saya ingatkan awak bukan minah bunga.
Disebabkan saya ni orang tengah, dan selepas berbulan-bulan dah kering air liur saya memujuk, saya menjadi terlebih teruja oleh perkembangan kisah saudari dan tak dapat menahan kegembiraan. Satu hari saya tersengih macam kerang busuk.
Saya harap saudari dapat melihat sendiri dari bingkisan yang diterima kesucian dan kebaikan hati dia tu. Percayalah (cue - sesapa tolong nyanyi lagu Siti sat) Dia tu tak serupa lelaki-lelaki durjana yang awak kenali selama ini yang ada bini dan anak 4-5 orang di rumah tetapi berpoya-poya dengan kekasih sesuka hati. Mereka ini tidak ada hati perut dan tidak reti menghargai hati seorang perempuan yang tulus dan suci.
Memandangkan keluarga si dia berasal dari utara, dan telah bermastautin di negeri orang, adinda begitu yakin bahawa kami tidak tergolong dalam kumpulan-kumpulan keluarga elit di Kola Lumpor. Kalau ada pun, kitaorang tak mengaku sedara. Apatah lagi dengan mamat ni yg dibesarkan di Amerika, dia tak kenal dan memang tak ada konco-konco kat KL pun.
Kekandaku, saya rasakan kekanda sungguh sesuai untuk digandingkan dengan dia tu. Saya nampak hati budi dan keikhlasan naluri insani saudari. Disebabkan faktor-faktor inilah saya berusaha bertungkus lumus untuk menyatukan dua hati. (Majikan saya kata kat saya 'awak tu pandai lah pulak nak satukan hati org, hati awak tah ke mana') Takpe takpe, berkat.
Di sini saya ingin memberitahu jugaklah, bahawasanya dia sekarang menggunakan akaun MK saya untuk membaca karya-karya awak. Tak pe kan?
Saya harap dengan penjelasan saya ini, awak tak ler marah saya lagi sebab saya blog kisah awak tu. Mintak maaf ya. Saaaaayaang awak!
Kalau boleh, rajin-rajinlah saudari tulis email mengenai perkembangan yang tengah berputik tu. Tapi saya cuba berjanji saya tak bising-bising kat blog lagi dah (Cuba je tau)
Sekian.
Yang amat merinduimu,
Ewok
Note: Cikgu BM saya kata saya fail, dpt D+ je. Huuuhuhu. Tapi takpe asalkan dia tak paham apa saya tulis :)
Pertama kali, saya ingin meminta maaf kalau cerita panas saya tu menggempurkan semua org termasuk lah diri awak sendiri.
Sebenarnya saya tak sengaja. Pada hari Sabtu hari tu, saya telah dapat email dari si dia. Dia kata hati dia tengah berbunga-bunga semenjak awak membalas warkah-warkah dia. Essh... tak sangka saya, saya ingatkan awak bukan minah bunga.
Disebabkan saya ni orang tengah, dan selepas berbulan-bulan dah kering air liur saya memujuk, saya menjadi terlebih teruja oleh perkembangan kisah saudari dan tak dapat menahan kegembiraan. Satu hari saya tersengih macam kerang busuk.
Saya harap saudari dapat melihat sendiri dari bingkisan yang diterima kesucian dan kebaikan hati dia tu. Percayalah (cue - sesapa tolong nyanyi lagu Siti sat) Dia tu tak serupa lelaki-lelaki durjana yang awak kenali selama ini yang ada bini dan anak 4-5 orang di rumah tetapi berpoya-poya dengan kekasih sesuka hati. Mereka ini tidak ada hati perut dan tidak reti menghargai hati seorang perempuan yang tulus dan suci.
Memandangkan keluarga si dia berasal dari utara, dan telah bermastautin di negeri orang, adinda begitu yakin bahawa kami tidak tergolong dalam kumpulan-kumpulan keluarga elit di Kola Lumpor. Kalau ada pun, kitaorang tak mengaku sedara. Apatah lagi dengan mamat ni yg dibesarkan di Amerika, dia tak kenal dan memang tak ada konco-konco kat KL pun.
Kekandaku, saya rasakan kekanda sungguh sesuai untuk digandingkan dengan dia tu. Saya nampak hati budi dan keikhlasan naluri insani saudari. Disebabkan faktor-faktor inilah saya berusaha bertungkus lumus untuk menyatukan dua hati. (Majikan saya kata kat saya 'awak tu pandai lah pulak nak satukan hati org, hati awak tah ke mana') Takpe takpe, berkat.
Di sini saya ingin memberitahu jugaklah, bahawasanya dia sekarang menggunakan akaun MK saya untuk membaca karya-karya awak. Tak pe kan?
Saya harap dengan penjelasan saya ini, awak tak ler marah saya lagi sebab saya blog kisah awak tu. Mintak maaf ya. Saaaaayaang awak!
Kalau boleh, rajin-rajinlah saudari tulis email mengenai perkembangan yang tengah berputik tu. Tapi saya cuba berjanji saya tak bising-bising kat blog lagi dah (Cuba je tau)
Sekian.
Yang amat merinduimu,
Ewok
Note: Cikgu BM saya kata saya fail, dpt D+ je. Huuuhuhu. Tapi takpe asalkan dia tak paham apa saya tulis :)
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