Friday 29 July 2005

what's the point of having a dream if you're not gonna make it happen?

(tajuk panjang giler courtesy of Honda ads)


PS wrote something about dreams and living a different life, if you could change it. Or you would rather stick to the current life.Is there any point of re-living my life? I dunno. Maybe if I had been given a time tunnel (today I drove into Tyne Tunnel, hence the subject), I might want to go back and change a few things here and there, but I don’t think I want to live a different life altogether.

It’s not perfect, mind you, but I like it the way it is.

Basically, I can’t say I want to change the few things either. I just want to move forward some of the decisions I made. Like when I decided to leave Malaysia, instead of in 2002, I should have done that in, say, 1999 maybe.

I am out of this world.You know, I have this thing that has been nagging me for a little while. I spoke to dz and kakteh about it, but seems like it's still lingering around. So, I guess I have to blog about it.

Most people in our society, in my humble opinion, cannot run away from this narrow minded perception. Malay(sian)s seem to set a certain kind of status or standard to our own people.

People with tertiary education are expected to have a certain kind of jobs with certain kind of perks and make certain amount of money and drive a certain kind of cars. Why? Because you have a BSc, MS or Phd?

Why put a label or status?

You see, I don’t understand that.

When hiring staff, Malaysians are obsessed with degrees and whatnot. If you don’t own one, no matter how good you are, please walk thru that door and don’t come back again.

On the other hand, a lot of students with degrees also perasan that because they have one, they should get a desk job in an office and good salary. Duh! Ok maybe that’s not the case anymore, but hey, do they ever think of doing something else instead of just doing this scheme and that scheme? Semua kerajaan nak kena tolong ke? You think that's your right ke? Hessh!

Ok, this may not come out the way I want it to.

Let’s try again. Let’s take my life, for example.

Disclaimer: AA, this is not intended for you, ok hon. Saja tak de benda lain nak tulis.

Listen, I know some of you were thinking what I actually do here. Tak dak keje lain ke nak buat? Makcik kat kat kampong sure tercengang kalau depa tau and sure kena kutuk lah ‘belajaq tinggi tinggi, keja juai aiskrim saja?' Apa guna belajaq obersi?

Hessh. Banyak gunanya makcik oi.

I may not be a hotshot executive in some big corp. I may not be a financial controller or businessperson. I have tried that route before. I also have tasted what it was like to be a civil servant. I am not cut to be sitting at a desk all day. To some, it may sound like I lead a low scrapping life selling ice cream. Please, when you read this, don’t pity me, because I don’t really need it.

I like my job. I have the most flexible time in the world, except in summer la. My director, The Mentor, protects me from The Boss from breathing down my neck. She also doesn’t care how I do my job as long as I get them done. I can take time off (skive la) during the day to go for a haircut or do a little shopping, and she won’t mind. I decide how to do it and when to do it. (Yesterday, I was at Orange shop for 2 hours, tukar telefon baru and she knows about it) Also, she will wait until after noon before calling me up, if she knows I had a long day the night before (she'd let me sleep in).

I could take my friends with me for a little weekend getaway when I go up and down the country. I can start work late or early depending on my mood. My mobile bills are paid by the company (yes baby!) I don’t have a 9-5 punch card since my home is my office. My van and fuel all paid for by the company. I wear jeans and sneakers all the time (this reminds me I have to buy a new Nike). I can help myself to a whole loads of ice cream in the warehouse, like proven to Kakteh (mau lagi ka?) I also get to go to the backstage of west end theatres when I was doing my round and see rehearsals if I wish.

Do I sound smug? Hehehe... at least I don't think I was, just glad I got this job. Gary actually said it was intended for PS, really, but she decided not to come back to the UK. So, I told Gaz I wanted the job.

With a job like this, what else do I want, kan? When I feel down and tired with the work, I’d somehow think that there are people in jobs worst than mine. And because The Mentor treated me well and trusted my ability, I had to give back 120%. I’m not complaining.

So, yes people, I could have had good job that bore me to death, but instead, I am just a plain ice cream seller. Eh? Halal apa. I mean the ice cream is halal, hahahaa.

I tak main office politics, I don't stab behind someone's back, I don't berebut jawatan for promotion and I don't think I ever misuse my well connected networks of ice cream sellers :)Smell the lillies? I did.

But, you haven’t heard the stories of my two brothers, Na and Acik. Tu lagi terer! Both were former engineers but now they are doing something totally different.

Na decided to repair computers instead cos that’s his interest. Acik, he used to earn a living by jadi tukang urut reflexology (this was way when it wasn’t a trend yet) and now he’s just a farmer.

You see, we (me and my immediate family) are very sempoi. I think Mak would have been proud of us.The question is, do I want to live a different life? The grass always looks greener on the other side, but I know the greener the grass is, mesti lagi banyak slugs!

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