of my very long views, more like a letter to the editor

A friend alerted me on the article in Harian Metro. I can't help but feeling sad and angry after reading it. Since it hits home and about who I am, I guess it's appropriate for me to express my opinion.

Dear Norainon Othman,
Harian Metro

I read your article about same sex relationship after a friend alerted me about it. Based on your writing, I take it that you don’t have a friend who is gay or know any gay people close enough to discuss the matter. But that’s ok because to write something you should know you subject matter, which I presumed you did a research beforehand.

Unfortunately, I have to say that I am disappointed after reading it. Obviously when you wrote that you would like to dig deep into this issue, I assumed that you would go back to basics and provide interesting insights. I am not a writer but how lame it is when I noticed that you failed the fundamental element of writing. There were no scientific or even academic studies cited to prove your points. All that present were the interviews with some government officials or some sort and even that were cited without statistics. The fact that you only wrote one side of the story and did not offer a perspective from the lesbian side makes your article less credential that it is already.

By the way, if you do interview lesbians, please make sure they are credible enough to offer mature and intelligent statements. Not just some kids who aren’t sure what they want and just wasting their life pretending to themselves and to the world that this is the lifestyle they want. But I guess it would be hard to find one because no lesbians in their right mind would risk talking to you.

I’m in awe when the Chairman of Sidim, someone who I assumed to be educated as he holds a high position, mentioned that animals don’t have a same sex relationship. Perhaps he and you would like to check with Oregon Health and Science University School of Medicine about one of the studies that confirmed that brain anatomy and hormone production play some parts behind the homosexuality found in sheep. Have you heard the news about Silo and Roy, two male chinstrap penguins at the Central Park Zoo in New York? They made headlines when they, along with six other same-sex couples among penguins, were discovered. The same thing happened at Bremerhaven Zoo in Bremen, Germany in 2005. I think it’s sufficient to say that there are many more examples of gay animals. You should dig them out you know. It’s your job after all.

President of Pekemas dares mentioned that this issue stem from the influences of pornography from CDs and Internet. This actually shocks me. What is this? Some kind of jokes? Have you seen a pornographic video of two women having sex, Ms Norainon? It is a disgrace and disgusting to watch, let alone to even suggest that this is one of the reasons women became a lesbian. Sex scenes in these videos are so downright dirty and demeaning to all women that they will actually turn you off and make you puke. These videos are for sick-minded and sex-starved men who can’t do much but fantasize about what they can’t have.

There may be some truth in the claim that some women who were terribly affected by the trauma or abuse in their life could develop an attachment to other women over times but that doesn't mean that they are gay, be it sexually or not. That's only because of the security and emotional needs that were provided by these other women. However, a lot of gay people also grew up in a happy and healthy surrounding as demonstrated by a few of my friends. Thus, the root of homosexuality can’t be pinpointed to just psychological reasons but also biological ones.

But it is absurd and laughable to say that some women become a lesbian because they do not want their freedom taken away by men. Do you know that many modern women prefer to be singles but are not lesbians!? Some single women prefer to have a male fuck buddy instead of a husband. And some gay women prefer to be single without being in a relationship. Believe it or not, we lead a solitary yet satisfied life. We may have feelings for women, but it doesn’t mean we have to act on it.

By suggesting that the government do something to prevent it from spreading, do you think it’s some sort of a disease or something that can be cured? Existing syariah law doesn’t stop married people from committing adultery or prevent people from having sex out of wedlock. And existing law also doesn’t stop the children from being molested by sick paedophiles. What make you think that the law can stop the world from being cursed by God already? And what makes you think that a law can stop someone from being a lesbian? It’s not like a woman could just wake up one day and decide to break the law by being a lesbian. Duh!

“Oh by the way mum, today I decide to be a lesbian just to annoy you and dad!” Or, “I got my heart broken and I hate men, so today I will turn lesbian.” What a funny notion. Where do you live, Norainon? It doesn't happen overnight. People can’t just switch on and off their sexuality to suit their need. And just for the record, women don't become a lesbian. We either are or aren't.

It looks to me that homosexuals are being treated like a third class citizen even though we contribute to the wellbeing of the country just as everyone else. Just look at some of the female engineers at Petronas, Shell or whatever. I bet my life that some are lesbians. What about some government officials or the people in the medical professions? Think about sportswomen, lawyers, lecturers or even politicians. Do you punish us all for being a lesbian? Do you oppress and discriminate us just because of our sexual preference? Does it make any difference to our work performance if you knew with whom we perform in bed?

Stop this bigotry and open your ears. I’m sure you don’t do that to any heterosexuals as that is deemed inappropriate and unprofessional. So what makes you think you can do that to homosexuals? At least we are intelligent enough to adopt the US Army motto of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell or else we would be oppressed and humiliated beyond repair.

The truth is we know rights from wrongs. By all means do provide support, counseling and religious classes for those who seek help. But you don’t have to lay blames and condemn us because we ourselves have been surrounded by guilt since forever. Please don’t add any more complication to our already complicated life. You are just going to drive us deeper underground.