Saturday 12 January 2008

of my coming out story part 2

I sailed through college without a boyfriend, and not wanting one at all. Though I did develop a close friendship with another girl, I thought it was just normal for girls to have that kind of bond with their friends.

I remember there was a paper we had to write about homosexuality but I still had no idea what it really was. As it happened, the friendship didn’t go any further as I felt claustrophobic and trapped with her neediness. So these feelings I had for girls completely and totally slipped my mind.

Furthermore, I had other demons to battle with at that time. I had to deal with the death of my mother, relocating myself to a foreign country and the shock that my father remarried less than 6 months later. As I blamed myself for the unfortunate death, I felt all the guilts were on me and was totally lost, angry and hurt.

I was young and didn't know any better. The way I saw it, I was coping well. I had my attention on things that were gothic, mystery and grotesque, and for a while there I even started to look like one. I made sure that the things I did were out of the ordinary, unexpected and slightly odd. Druid, satanic cult, emo, pagan, witchcraft, tarot, you just name it, I was interested. But it never lasted long enough. I was unbelievably lost.

I love being in the company of people, but there I was isolating myself, in my little world, trying to find a solid ground below or a hand to hold but I never managed to grab one. I was hiding and, at the same time, protecting myself from being hurt again. I always felt that I was there for people when they need me but at the same time, I can't help feeling all alone fighting for my survival. I always held back what was on my mind and never spoke of any sorrows. I pushed people away and refused to let anyone get close. I wanted to run as far as I could. Still, I didn’t know what I was running from or where I was running to.

It was only at the beginning of my so-called adult life that I found myself falling hopelessly in love, with a woman. And ironically, I didn’t even know that it was love. Like it or not, she filled my mind for the next few years and there was nothing that I wouldn't do for her. I felt that I finally had found something or someone to live for. I was feeling all sort of emotions and wanted to change for the best. I would have gone to the moon and back if she had asked.

Sadly, I was just a phase she was going through at that moment. I was devastated and it was way too excruciating to watch her leave. But leave she did.

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