growing pains

Once there's a story of men and women, of life and love and of happiness and sorrow.

Sometimes when we are too happy, we forget that one day we might be at the bottom of the wheel. We may think that tragedy would never strike us, but how so wrong we can be. Many things can happen in the blink of an eye. One day we are laughing, the next day we are crying.

When we are vulnerable many people will try to take advantage. Old friends we never met for ten years, or long lost realtives suddenly resurfaced. They become ruthless in their pursue, offering help and advices, pretending to be the ones that care when in fact they have their own agendas.

We probably didn't share similar stories or tragedies. Nor do we have the same approach to cope with our losses. Yet, we have the same destination. We left to find happiness on this isle we now call home.

I heard it so many times now that I am where I am today. The people here, I pity them because they have nothing better to do than talk nonsense.

Sometimes I wonder about people. I know that they may be worried or care about us, the gullible young women, but honest to God, I believe we are able to fend for ourselves. Personally, I think that it is good that they genuinely care but there will be times when we want to be by ourselves. Except that the less genuine ones won't leave us alone.

It doesn't matter what we do with our time. If I want to drown in my sorrow, or sleep the whole day or if I want to reflect on my life, they don't need to know unless I want them to know. It is in fact my private moments.

What I do in my own time is my business. If I want to be friend with one person but not the other, it's my business. The thing about being at this place is that whatever comments being made by someone will spread around so fast like an epidemic.

"Pegi Tinseltown tak ajak I pun", "eh sekarang sultanlingga rapat dengan ewok yea?", "mana menghilang diri tak nampak for a few days?"

I don't want to risk sounding like an arrogant bitch but I can't understand why.

Why do you care that I went out for dinner with someone and not invited you? Have you invited me to any of your outings? Do you need to keep tab on everybody's movement? Where does it hurt, your ego?

Maybe it's time we all grow up even if some of them are old enough to be gramps.

m3m3

I can't remember when was the last I did a meme. It has been a while and to be honest, I'm not a meme kinda girl. Yet, when I saw this at one blog, I just can't help myself.


1. Three things that scare me:

• Being pregnant and giving birth
• Thrown in jail
• My life is short lived

2. Three people that make me laugh:

• JackJack
• Faith and Hope (the sitcom)
• I can't think as I hardly laugh these days

3. Three things I hate the most:

• Racism, classicism, cronyism, ah hell, any kind of discrimination
• Liars and people who likes to take advantage
• Spoilt rich kids

4. Three things I don’t understand:

• Why people like to mind other people business
• Why can't Muslims be united
• Chemistry, Physics, all sort of sciences

5. Three things I’m doing right now:

• Listening to The HITS
• Thinking about dinner
• Yawning

6. Three things I want to do before I die:

• Travel a lot more…for example, see the Mayan ruins, the Incan ruins, take TranSiberia Train Journey and go to beautiful islands ie Bora Bora...
• Work on a cruise ship
• Fly a plane

7. Three things I can do:

• Cook
• DIY at home
• Read maps and navigate a foreign city

8. Three ways to describe my personality:

• Very caring (once you get to know me)
• Highly sensitive and emotional
• Fiercely loyal

9. Three things I can’t do:

• Be bitchy
• Curl my tongue
• Pretend that I like someone when I can't stand him or her

10. Three things I think you should listen to:

• Srikandi Cintaku
• Your intuition
• Your heart (if different from your intuition)

11. Three things you should never listen to:

• Emotional blackmail
• Unfounded rumors
• George Bush

12. Three things I’d like to learn:

• How to shake my hips and dance like Shakira
• How not to cry at the drop of a hat
• How be a good talker and listener

13. Three favourite foods:

• Mee Rebus/Kari
• Nasi Goreng with ayam goreng
• Chocolate ice cream

14. Three beverages I drink regularly:

• Water
• Teh ais
• Iced tea (Hehehe)

15. Three shows I watched as a kid:

• Land of the Giants
• 3-2-1 Contact
• McGruder and Loud

It's the end of August but not the end of me

It feels so good after a long break from blogging. Of course I miss my friends and their stories, but I am glad that I had taken some times to be alone and be completely free of writing or reading blogs.

I hope that that break actually rejuvenates me.

As I wrote before, I had to move and now I am closer to the centre. Right smack in the middle of Malaysian community. Dulu I tak suka bercampur gaul dengan Malaysians disebabkan beberapa incidents that happened to me. Sorry lah beb! I don't like their attitudes so I kept well away from them. I'm not saying that all of them are similar and have bad attitude, but I wasn't interested anymore. I was happy to be on my own.

Now, padan muka saya! After I moved, I met a few Malaysians and I started hearing many stories about some people I don't even know. The politics, MasyaAllah! The mulut, MasyaAllah!

Pening dah saya ni. I go down to the cafe, tengah makan kalu, ada saja yang datang melepak kat meja I nak bercerita about this and that. Eh.. tolonglah! I may know your name ok but I dunno you well enough for you to start your gossips.

I just moved here and I'm not interested and I don't really give a shit, so give me some space. Sometimes when I was reading newspaper I had to block my mind just because I didn't want to listen.

Funny enough this place also gives me some new insight and taught me about the various characters in people. I learn about the value of making new friends, the art of manipulating people (I'm rubbish at it!), the danger of gatal-ed men and the anguish and obstacles one had to face to be where one is today.

If you stay long enough at this place, you will make make friends and foes. You will hear rumours and unfounded accusations. Mulut orang, betul atau tidak, kita tak boleh nak tutup.

Soon there will be a drama swasta.

Like it or not, I'm here but I wish I was somewhere else.