of pain

I used to think that I am a very calm person. I walk away from argument and I can't stand a heated conversation or any violent behaviours.

Now I feel like smashing everything in sight. I am constantly pissed and most of the time I don't know what or whom I'm mad at. I didn't realise that I have such anger all bottled up inside. I'm just angry at people, at me, at her and at lifeless objects. Gosh! This energy is driving me crazy.

I know my friends are telling me it's just a normal phase I'm going through. And I am embracing this, but I just don't know for how long I could do it. I'm just not cut out to be this way.

I'm too gentle, too nice and too emotional.

The Mentor has been very good and after reassuring me that I will meet someone nice and better she told me to get off it already, which made me laugh. Such gem she is.

Yeah, the thought of going back in the scene and starts dating is a little scary. I don't think I could do so soon since the duct tapes are still plastered all over my heart.

What also scares me is the fact that I would probably go through heartache again and again until I find the right person is a bit taxing. I can't handle it. It took me years to get over the previous one and now this one made me look like I came back from a battle.

Oh such pain!