the Malay Men saga continues. Depa kena lagi.
Funny but after that post, my girlfriends called me to say how much they detested Malay men. They were fed up with Malay men.
Ina called me later this evening to rant and rail. See, Ins is still on good terms with her Mat Salleh ex. They exchange sms's and emails. Even though they flirt a bit they know it's just friendship now.
She asked me the USD1,000,000 question:"Dins. Kenapa kan dengan laki Melayu ni banyak songel? Kita sms to say hello, dia ingat kita ni gatal. Cannot say hello ke?"
Then:
"You ever had this Dins? You meet a guy. You like each other. Satu hari 10-20 emails. Sms macam kelemumur. Then ah, tetiba, he's busy. One moment he's pursuing you, the next he's cold. What is this la wey? I am 37, I cannot play games la Dins. You ever had this?"
"Of course I had that. Don't ask me. As far as I am concerned I hope that twit is crapping bricks. Bukan main dulu, puji kita sampai syurga. Suddenly now always so busy. All Malay men must die!" I said.
"You know. I just got to know the guy. We both like each other. TAPI... why ah when sms him it takes him 3 hours to reply? In Europe that's considered rude."Sharina, that's why Malay men live in Malaysia. They wouldn't last in Europe."
"You macam mana? Dah ada bf dah?"
"I ok je. Duk SS kat Anderson Cooper ni. We're making babies right now."
Malay men always get angry when we tell them they're basketcases. But their so-called nilai-nilai Melayu murni stop short when they get the girl, so to speak. I think all of them need to go for Romance 101 and Diplomacy 500 courses.
I could go on bashing men but I don't intend to. But here's a survival guide for all single women that like a certain someone out there:
He may claim he's crazy about you but actions speak louder than words. So ignore the talk and see the walk. If he hasn't dumped the hussy or crossed three oceans to be with you, he ain't into you.
In the beginning of a romance, the first month is always lovey dovey. He misses you la, rindu you la, taik kucing you la.
MUCH as you want to believe it, DON'T BELIEVE THAT CRAP. MEN WILL SAY ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO BLOW HIM IN THE FIRST MONTH.
You want to know if the guy really likes you? Get yourself into a crisis. If the guy doesn't come to your rescue, despite him claiming he's mad about you, forget the turd.
If he really likes you, he'll drop everything for you. He can be a momma's boy, he can be a transvestite, he can be married or gay, but if he really likes you, he'll be at your doorstep.And etc.
How does one move on?
Easy. So long you ain't married to him, I figure you go your way or find someone else. Men are just numbers.
What, how can you say that Dins?
Hello, you men replace us like how you drop turds in an hour, so why the hell can't we women be shallow? Baby, you're just a number.
No man is worth the pain. If you think your heart is going to be broken, get out NOW. You do the heart-breaking.
Apa dah, I love him, I know he loves me wah wah bla bla, this is the 21st century. Apa you takut sangat? With the Internet, you can find someone in a second somewhere in Poland. Or Papua New Guinea.(Good no? Jauh-jauh)
Lastly, darling women. You can be fat, ugly, pimpled etc, but remember this:
You are a Goddess. Take a good look around you. There are one or two not so attractive people out there, in love and having happy relationships.
NOW DON'T CRY AND TELL ME THIS: DINS, HOW COME AH, THAT GIRL, SO UGLY BUT GOT BOYFRIEND MEH...
Think yourself lucky. She could have settled, and no woman or man should just settle.If you feel really low, do this then.
In the room or toilet:
Make monkey facesTell yourself 'I am the greatest! I am the best!'
Grab your tits and go Woooooooooaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhh I'm bustin'
And no matter how bad you feel, and I've been there baby, I've been there, remember: you're fabulous.
So, there you go womenfolk. Hope you quench your thirst for dz's positive writing to uplift your spirits. We sisters stand together.
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