from a daughter to parents

When I was growing up, I never heard about gays and lesbians. My parents were clueless too, I think. I always felt different. I knew from an early age that I would never marry a man.

During primary school, at my young age, I developed crushes on many of the girls. I thought nothing of them. It wasn't until college when I finally learned what "gay" was. You may think that I grew up in some long ago decade, but surprisingly, I grew up in the late 1980s and 1990s. I was in the dark. I didn't accept myself until I was in my 30s, but by then a lot of damages have been done to the state of my mind.

My parents, however, have both long gone when I finally acknowledged myself so in a way I consider myself lucky. But there are too many youth and young women out there who are not so lucky.

I learned the harsh truth that love is not unconditional, there's always a "but" at the end of a sentence. Parents may claim to love us, but they love the person they think we were and the person they hope we will be.