what la you?

I dunno what is it about me that give an impression that I lead a very interesting and sophisticated life, and make loads of dosh.

Nak kata famous, tidak... Nak kata lawa pun jauh sekali... Nak kata jahat tu jahat jugaklah sikit sikit. Heh..but lately asyik dapat colourful emails with out of the world remarks that could dampen my spirit je. Ada pulak allegation yang I have a high flying lifestyle, suka menunjuk nunjuk and kuat memilih sejak duduk kat Londres ni.

Hahahaha… Tah apa apa lah manusia ni. Essh… Hello! Kat mana you dapat ni?

If you think selling ice cream and driving around the country like a slave driver is chic, then I think you need to have your head examined.

Just because you read some stories in my blog or saw some pictures, it doesn’t mean you can make assumptions about me.For the record, I am far from being chic.Yes, I live in London but if you know how expensive everything is here, then you’d know that I’m always broke before the 15th of every month. I’m tempted to start gambling so that I can increase my bank account by 9 fold tau.

The thing is I’m lucky that my job requires me to travel with all expenses covered. I think I know all the motorways, A and B roads in Britain better than most Brits. That’s how I get to go to most UK cities, and great historical places like the castles and such. Kalau nak harap duit sendiri, jangan mimpi lah.

And yes I travel for pleasure too and these things cost money, but kalau dah dok sini tak pegi travel rugi lah. Tu yang broke selalu tu. Kalau you all nak tau, I pegi jalan2 tu pun on a very tight budget. I took buses, stayed in hostels and walked all over cities. Sometimes I shared a room with 10 other stinking travellers who came back loud and drunk. No luxury I tell you!

I don’t own a car, let alone live in a posh house. The current flat is nice and well equipped with monster plasma tv, broadband, dvd, PS2, sky cable, 3 aquariums (my flatmate is a fish man) and whatnot but sorry to disappoint you, these gadgets are not mine. I tumpang guna saja.

Hah lagi satu... You can talk to me about iPod la, PDA la bla bla bla, I seriously tak tau nak guna and I’m not interested in having one pun. J gave me an mp3 for Christmas but sampai sekarang I tak reti reti nak upload songs into it. Adik kecik you pun tah tah lagi terer guna all these.

My mode of transportation is a small van courtesy of the company, or sometimes I take the tube. I don't have the urge to own a Merc like most Malaysians kat sini yang berlumba lumba nak bawak balik sebijik. My room is so damn small I can’t even fit my workstation in. My desktop is another courtesy from the office.

Masa I first moved to London, The Mentor kesian tengok I kot, so dia bagi pinjam segala mak nenek barang2 rumah. Iron, set pinggan mangkuk, glasses, tv, cooking utensils, selimut, kettle, sudu garpu. Semua ehsan dia. Bed and mattress pun dia kasi. Yang syok nya dia bagi I dok free lagi in her nice flat while I was looking for my own place. Come winter time, heater puuun I pinjam dengan office. Hahahaha.

My office is near Cardiff, so sometimes I had to stay overnight. I used to book myself into a Travel Inn, but because they costed the company so much, I opted to stay in a caravan. My choice tau, kalau org lain tu mesti nak dok hotel je. Caravan ni The Boss punya, but he said I can have unlimited access whenever. It's definitely not Mandarin Oriental but I love it.

I haven’t had my hair done in like ages. Not even a haircut. Apa nak buat, balik keje dah malam malam buta, then had to do paperwork lagi. Kedai semua dah tutup.

Shopping spree is not my top priority. The last time I bought a pair of shoes was in Jan, and before that I think it was with Ju at Jaya Jusco back in Feb 2004. Tu dia! Punya lah cikai nye I ni.

However, I am lucky to have met very very generous and kind people ever since I merantau dengan sehelai sepinggang and satu backpack (betul, tak tipu punya). Everyone has been so helpful.

So, there! Sorry to disappoint you. I'm not worthy of envious thoughts or gossips. You and I have nothing in common. Except I makan nasik, you pun makan nasik, unless your meal is Poulet à la Parisienne and you drink Chardonnay. I don't know Damansara just like you don't know where Tongkang Yard is (that's my mum nye kampung)

This is how I live my life. Some of you may know me personally and if I may, I prefer to remain as Ewok to the rest. Bila I balik M'sia, kalau nak jumpa tu lain cerita.

If you think my life is interesting, then I’d say hoo-fucking-ray (alamak! sori ray cats and Pak Malim, no offense ya)