Everything is so messed up. My life is taking a different turn and it seems to have make me confused. I can't even say the right words or do the right things. Words that came out of me seems to hurt her and I don't know how to make it better. To her they're all like poison.
She says I'm full of lies and excuses. Maybe I did lie because it's like second nature because if you're used to lying you just can't get rid of the habit overnight. But it wasn't my intention to hurt her at all.
On the other hand, sometimes my lies are to prevent or avoid confrontation. It's in me that I hate argument and I don't like being stuck in a heated conversation. I don't want to hurt anyone and I know I don't like her to be unhappy. I'd rather it was me that's hurting and suffering it all than seeing someone I love and care so much being upset and hurt.
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