a bad day

Often people tell me that they were puzzled by my ability to keep smiling all day, no matter what situation I was in. Yeah that puzzles me too. I wonder how I can be cheerful on command. And most of the times, I put on a smiley mask.

I do not like people to know that I was unhappy. I do not fancy them asking how I was coping. I'm reserved, and hate to discuss my feelings or things in my head. I do not feel the need to justify anything and I am sure they do not really want to listen. So, why bother?

When I faced dodgy situations, being grumpy won't help ease me. Lagi tension.

However, today at the office, I am so monyok. I had quite about enough with one guy. He acts as if he does all the work, talk cock and likes ordering me around.

When he saw me across the hallway, he raised his voice, 'E, tell me what we have to do with Victoria Apollo?'

we? We? WE?

Shithead! He does this to me all the time! We this. We that. Bloody hell! It was all me, ok!

me. me. me. ME.

He is loud when he's with me, showing off lah tu. Kekonon dia yang plan semua benda and macam lah we are a team. I asked him to help (I never asked for help and believe me when I ask, mesti because I kenot do it myself), instead he keeps talking nonsense, giving me suggestions la, suruh ikut cam ni lah, round and round and round. In the end, aku jugak yang buat semua bende. I felt like crying. Itu yang keluar poem bodoh tu.

Penat lah aku dengan selfish people like him.

The Mentor once said she was amazed that I always do favours to people but never asked anything in return. Tah la. That's me. Biar aku susah sendiri, senang together. Errr...

Anyway, when I leave the company at the end of this year (I plan to, hopefully), I am not going to tell them anything about my work. Let them find out and hang themselves. Let them figure out all about events, and how difficult it is to manage the vans all over the country.

Today she devised a plan for us when we leave. I was told not to leave any forms or traces of paperworks other than the important spreadsheets. Hahaaha... Biar padan muka. Bagus betul mentor aku ni.