flood in the house

Everyone must have known about the flood in the north and east coast. Last night I spoke to Aci. She lives near Jitra, one of the worst affected areas but her new house was spared from the disaster. Unfortunately, our family house in AS is among the many thousand houses affected.

No one lives in that house nor we have lotsa stuffs in it. Since Aci and family moved out almost a year ago, nobody wants to occupy it. The bros now have their own place and I, well, I don't come back too often anyway. Even when Aci was there, that place was in a serious condition, to put it mildly.

A complete makeover or renovation won't be worth it. We have discussed among us that the best way is to tear down the whole structure and build a new one. It's heavily infected by termites, cockroaches and rats. And when I heard about the flood, I knew that our house would suffer the worst in the kampong.

Over the years, people around us has been renovating their houses, yet, we have done nothing. In a way, this has affected the level of the soil as they lifted the house to a higher ground leaving ours on the same level as before. It is so bad that everytime there was a heavy rain, ours would be the only one that have flash flood.

To say that I am sad is an understatement. I am gutted. That's the place where I grew up and spent half my life. That's the place where I first learned how to ride a bike. A homely place where I learned things from my mum. I had my first crush with Abang M and spent time daydreaming after seeing him walked pass the house. It's a place where I played all the childhood games like tengteng, tuju kasut etc. And we always had constant supplies of mangos and jambus from around the house. I always have fond memories of it.

Now, it's nothing more than a rundown house that is ready to collapse any time. Old cupboards have been eaten up by termites, windows and doors on top have fallen apart and the ceiling on the lower level has too many holes to count. Bird nests and cobwebs are everywhere. And now the flood water up above my knees has filled the house.

Once a upon a time, it was a glorious house.

I am embarassed. For leaving the house that way. For not doing anything. For not feeling connected anymore. For staying away.

I know what we have to do. I have a vision for that land. What I don't have is money. For now, it will have to stay as it is even though my heart cries every time I think of it.